RP: MIL as primary daycare provider?

kertybird

Right now my MIL watches the kids two days per week and my sister is doing it two days. My sister was recently promoted at her other job and my not be able to watch our kids so we have two options. Have my MIL pick up the days so she now has them four days a week or put them in a daycare center. I worry that my MIL will take on too much of the mothering role so I would prefer to have them go to a center. I also feel bad sending them to a center if my MIL would be willing to watch them. They have such a great time together and she is amazing with them. What would you do?

EMT

I would send them somewhere else. She will still get them two days a week and then you can ask her to watch them on the weekends without feeling guilty about it.

I say this because my mom watches my two two days a week for me. We do not pay her but to be honest, it is not "free". There are times where I wish I could send them to school or something (for various reasons) and I also feel bad asking her to watch them on the weekends.

To me, it would be idealto have her watch them just when she wants to but we both know I can't afford full-time care for them so she does it so I don't move away from them .

EastCoastBride

You know what your MIL is like - would it work?  And how would 4 days vs 2 change how she takes care of them?  (As in, why do you think 4 days means she'll now be in mothering role?)

My parents watch DS 2 days a week.  They fully admit that more than that would be too much.  It IS a lot of work, and I really appreciate them being able to say "2 days is perfect".  AND this leaves them open to sit for us - they do like to see him more than that and they will gladly babysit.  But I'm sure if they watched him all week- then babysitting would be off the table. 

 

 

joy143dh

DS thrives at daycare/preschool. He goes 3 days a week and is home with me or DH the other 2 weekdays.   He loves the activities and time with the other kids.  I would recommend our schedule to anyone.  There are some kids in his class who only go Tues & Thurs or Mon & Fri.   I think 2 days with MIL and 2 days at school would be a great balance and great preparation for school to come.

stacynikki

I say center for the same reasons as the others. Plus, it gives them the opportunity to socialize with other kids.

Jaylea

They're at a great age to benefit from a center. My DD (same age as yours) LOVES her school. She has great buddies and has fun every day. Much as she loves her one day a week with my mom, she gets a lot out of her daycare.

jlw2505

Daycare center or a home daycare.  No way would I have my MIL watch my kids 4 days a week - granted, I would not have my MIL watch them on a regular basis at all so not the best judge for this type of question.  My kids have always been in a daycare center (older one now in PreK) and I feel that the benefits to them have been amazing in so many ways.  The things they have learned in daycare they just would have never gotten if my MIL or any other relative watched them.