But I'm totally at the end of my rope. Cruz will be wonderful 1 minute and then totally off the hook the next. I get that he is a little kid and having a little brother sort of has rocked his world but then he pulls crap like he did today and I wonder what I have done wrong?? Today was just mommy/cruz day. We went to touch a truck just the two of us, met one of our friends there and he had a blast. We even stayed late just the two of us and watched the trucks drive over a car for a good hour. Then we went to red robin just him and I and had a great lunch together. I had to stop at the post office on the way home and that is where the day started to go downhill. He was pulling all the greeting cards out even though I asked him to not touch them so I gave him a time out in the middle of the post office. On the way out to the car he told me "your stupid" and I then told him there would be no tv or bike riding for the rest of the day for that. Then we got home and when things got quiet in the other room corey went out to see what was up and Cruz was in the bathroom playing with his poop in the toilet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm still so grossed out by this I'm just beside myself. What am I doing wrong? We scolded him and scrubbed his hands with several kinds of soap for about 15 min and then painted his hands with that thumb sucking bad tasting stuff. He has just been rotten all night. I know he is tired but this just seems above and beyond. I'm at a loss? He is almost 4 years old, should he still be doing this kind of crap? He hardly ate dinner and we told him that was it for the night so now we are doing a bath and putting him to bed.
Re: ok I'm embarassed to even talk about this...
Maybe he is feeling a little bit of jealousy and doing things to get your attention. Maybe try ignoring the bad (don't react, just move him away or have him help you clean up) and being extra reactionary to the positive.
I also ave the older siblings help me (by getting diapers, wipes, clothes, toys and even "babysitting" when I leave the room or just go stand off to the side in the case of the almost 3 year old) and then I make a big deal out of it. (If you aren't doing that already.)
When Liam is over tired he is at his worst. I have put him to bed as early as 4:45. Maybe he just had a long day. The other thing is that kids don't think the toilet is nearly as gross as we do. I know how much it grosses you out. He doesn't get that. He just knows you're mad about something. My kids still play with the toilet when they are brushing their teeth. I have told them a million times, they don't care.
Three is a HARD age. Four, for us, was like the light bulb went off and while we it was still hard at times it was when time outs started to mean something, what I said started to make sense, following directions was a bit easier, and they tried a little more to communicate with me back.
Ben is psychotic sometimes... either a total angel or a total freaking out about absolutely everything. I think there is just so much going on with them - they're becoming more independent, but they're still little guys and they still need their mommies. I think it's just a hard time.
I do find that the more I yell and punish, the more downhill the whole thing goes. Everything goes better if I can stay calm and talk to him. It's so hard though when they're nuts. Ben hasn't gotten quite that bad - the poop thing OMG!!
I try really hard to gush all over him when he's doing good stuff. I also have him help with Cooper and praise him for being such a good big brother when he helps or is nice to him. ANd after things have simmered down after big blow outs over bad behavior like that, I try to have a really calm discussion about it... I say "we had a tough time today huh? what do you think happened?" and just try to get him to talk through how he was feeling and all. I say things like "it made me really disappointed when I asked you to do xyz and you did the opposite... how did you feel when you were doing it?"
I don't know if that helps at all. You're not alone though. I think it's a tough age, and a tough transition.... you're not doing anything wrong.