3yr old regressing behavior (incl. potty training)

LondonBlue

We have a 1 yr old and a 3yr old who we've been trying to potty train for 9 months. We tried in Sept and she didn't seem ready so we stopped. We tried again about a month ago because she had more readiness signs but she just wasn't getting it and didn't seem interested at all.

 Well her next year of pre-school requires potty training or they don't go. We have this summer to train her.

Her behavior has  regressed in other little areas like asking us to carry her. She used to be more independent and wants to do things for herself and she's still like that except in certain areas. We have a booster chair at the dining table for both girls now and our 3 yr old has requested and in some instances thrown a tantrum to sit in her sister's chair. Doesn't matter where she sits to us but she's adamant sometimes about her sister's chair and gets angry if we put her sister down in her own chair first.

She's been wearing pull-ups for some time and has started asking for her diapers again. We were forced to keep her in diapers because her school has a no pull-ups policy. Either your kid is potty trained or they're in diapers, no in between and no help with potty training.

Well school is over and it's been a month since our last attempt and we're going to try again but wanted to know if anyone else has experienced any jealousy issues from their older child that interfered with potty training; how did you deal with it?

We've got a special potty chair, tons of big girl panties, stickers, rewards, treats, big girl wipes, we praise when she potties and try to talk with her about her goals when she has accidents (make sure to tell Mommy and Daddy if you need to go potty so we can take you...keep your big girl panties dry), we also have a potty seat on her bathroom toilet with a stepstool. Everything is pink, princessy and she likes all of it but she still just doesn't show any interest at all.

Any other advice for our situation?

THX

howleyshell

I'm gonna go way out on a limb here.

Have you considered taking 3-4 days, removing diapers and pull ups and just going for it?   FOR THE YOUNGER ONE?

I'd ignore it if it seems like a power struggle and pour all of your attention into putting the younger one on the potty.  Try specifically putting a toddler potty in the bath tub at bath time and putting your younger child on it then turning on the warm water.

If/when you catch a pee celebrate like crazy people - stickers, singing, treats, what ever you're comfortable with.

Maybe celebrate potty trips for Mommy and Daddy too?

Sounds like she's one who's gonna need to WANT to get on board and the more you push right now the more stubborn she's gonna be.

 

One of the books I used when potty training both of mine (at 19/20 months) talked about taking the child's favorite stuffed toy and having them use the potty (yellow food dye in water and a melted hershey bar) and then celebrating and giving treats so the child could see first hand how cool it was and then ASK to do the same.

It worked like a charm for us.  Both my guys really fed off of seeing someone else get praise and a treat when they didn't.

I'm just thinking that if she's wanting the attention and special treatment her younger sibling is getting maybe you could try to use that to your advantage.

 

Long shot and outside of the box but that's probably a trick I'd try. 

  

sal32

Well, our older daughter is definitely having some jealousy/aggression issues toward her younger sister, and we also have been working on potty training for at least nine months.  I'm not sure if the jealousy was interfering with potty training or not, but progress had been very, very slow for a long time, when we finally had a PT breakthrough about a month ago.  She started peeing on the potty fairly consistently, but still would never, ever do a #2, and then one day about a week ago she just did it.  We didn't do anything new or different; I really think she just had to be ready, and for whatever reason decided that now she is ready.  We still have a long way to go before school in September (ours also requires them to be able to do the whole process by themselves) but I am so relieved that we're moving in that direction! 

I do think howleyshell's idea about "training" your younger child might be worth a try!  I'm sure it wouldn't do any harm, and might be just the motivation your older child needs.  I hadn't thought of trying that myself, but will keep it in mind in case we have any setbacks this summer.

Good luck! 

franciscaz

Our son is in a regular public school for pre-school.  They have a family therapist that we can quiz any time we want (we love him, he is an angel).  One thing that helped us when Harm started regressing recently (we moved, nanny is on vacation, etc.) is that potty training is a very personal decision and this is the one time he finds it perfectly acceptable to bribe.  

So this week we started offering 1/2 a twizzler for every poop.  If he can stay dry the whole day he gets a little apple juice.  1/2 a twizzler a day and 4 oz of juice has been well worth my sanity.  We also give him negative consequences if he poops in his pants (I can handle a pee one but a poop one is just bad IMO) by confiscating a favorite train.  He has to have a perfect day to get it back.  He just earned Thomas and now he is working on getting his Henry Train back.  

Also Harm gets into that sibling regression thing.  I've noticed showing him how wonderful being a big boy is: you wear underwear w/Thomas, you go to school, you take one nap instead of two, etc. really helps that problem.  If he continues the behavior I make him go take a morning nap or something else he doesn't want to do and suddenly being a big boy sounds great!

Dreamsicle23

howleyshell:

Have you considered taking 3-4 days, removing diapers and pull ups and just going for it?   FOR THE YOUNGER ONE? 

This is seriously an AWESOME idea!