vent

kinibruin

so my MIL calls D her "son." ever since she's come and visited back in march, she calls him her "son."

she says stuff like, hi son, how is my son doing, my poor son. my son is crying. my son is hungry. blah blah blah.

as you can tell, this annoys me. i'm thinking, "he's MY son. he's your GRANDSON." i wouldn't mind so much if she said "my boy, my child." whatevers. but for some reason i'm so overprotective about the term "son."

i feel like, he's my son. i carried him for 9 (ish) months. i dealt with his kicking, the pregnancy symptoms, the delivery, the post partum issues. i'm up with him at night, i BF him. i was with him while he was in NICU. i'm his mommy. he's MY son.

MH told her over skype a few weeks ago, "i'm your son. he's your GRANDSON." and she laughed and said, "no he's my son too." MH told her, "he's not your son. he's your GRANDSON."

so i thought, cool deal. this is over.

so we get a card from her this past week after the surgery. and it says "get well soon my second son."

AHHHH!!!! we may go visit them next week. i will cringe every time she says that.

what to do?!?!?! i don't want to offend her. but DUDE.

can you tell i'm irked? hahahah

SanHawaii08

kinibruin:

what to do?!?!?! i don't want to offend her. but DUDE.

this made me laugh, hehe.  but yeah, omg, i don't know what i would do!  i would be SO annoyed!!

redshoegirl

Yeah, this would get me too!

I have an IRL friend that this has happened to as well - for ages her MIL (who hated my friend anyway) would coach the LO to call her "Mom" instead of "Grandma". Made my friend craaaazy and I don't blame her! She repeatedly asked her MIL to stop, but ultimately of course couldn't actually force her - I think what she ended up doing was that everytime she and her LO saw the MIL, she'd say brightly and loudly, "Look LO! It's GRANDMA. Isn't that nice? We love seeing GRANDMA. Maybe GRANDMA has a snack for you? Do you, GRANDMA?" And so on and so forth.

SanHawaii08

redshoegirl:

I have an IRL friend that this has happened to as well - for ages her MIL (who hated my friend anyway) would coach the LO to call her "Mom" instead of "Grandma".

that is MESSED.UP.  

redshoegirl

SanHawaii08:

redshoegirl:

I have an IRL friend that this has happened to as well - for ages her MIL (who hated my friend anyway) would coach the LO to call her "Mom" instead of "Grandma".

that is MESSED.UP.  

Ohhhh yes. And that is just one thing on the very, veeeeeeeeeery long list of jawdropping things her MIL did.

Well, I should say ex-MIL...my friend and her fiance split up when their LO was 6 months old, which was difficult but really for the best. He gets the daughter for half the week though, and on the days he has her his mother watches her, so my friend still has to deal with her more frequently than she's like.

My MIL and I have had (and continue to have) our differences, but every time I hear a story from my friend about the fvcked up thing her ex-MIL is doing, I want to grab mine and hold her close and tell her how awesome she is lol!

mrspresley

sorry, i don't have any good suggestions, just wanted to say that you have every right to be annoyed   i don't know how things are w/you and MIL in general but if you are around her a lot you might just have to deal w/it.  some things are worth fighting for and others are just too much a of a headache.  as much as you might be right, it may not be worth it if it's going to put a huge strain on your relationship with MIL......

kinibruin

hahah thanks guys! i was thinking i was being too sensitive. hahaha glad to know it would annoy you guys too  

lisa: yikes! that's horrible! we haven't gotten to that part yet. yikes! i imagine your friend has to almost de-program her LO after she visits with the MIL...

jaime: yeah. our relationship is good. but MH and i have a policy that i deal with my folks and he will deal with his. so i won't say anything and will leave it up to him to tell her. and hope she stops! hahahahah

inamra

Wow, that is really annoying! But like you and YH, MH and I have that policy too, so hopefully YH can urge her a bit more on that to stop.

It's kinda like...what is going through her head? cuz ummm, if D is MIL's son and YH is his father, that makes MIL and YH spouses? errrrrrrrrrrr....honestly, this is the first time I heard of MILs doing this sort of thing, ie. calling grandson "son" or having grandchildren call her "mom"...

Anyway, hope she stops soon!

MrsZiz

kinibruin:

jaime: yeah. our relationship is good. but MH and i have a policy that i deal with my folks and he will deal with his. so i won't say anything and will leave it up to him to tell her. and hope she stops! hahahahah

We have the same policy. That said, I would NOT let this go by! If my MIL did that, I would ask DH to take care of it. If she kept doing it, I would mention it to DH again and tell him that if she didn't stop, that I would say something. I would have ZERO tolerance for that! I am the MOTHER of my children, she is their GRANDmother. If she doesn't want to be called grandma, then come up with a different name for her. Nana, Tutu, Grammy, Nonni, MeMaw, the list goes on. Tell her that you are happy to call her any thing in the "grandma" family but mom is out of the question!! I would have your DH tell her that it really bothers you and hurts your feelings, that she is a mother already and this is your turn.  

eacerna

I would be annoyed too. I agree with Jaime that it may not be worth straining your relationship with MIL but I will let DH handle it.

redshoegirl

MrsZiz:

kinibruin:

jaime: yeah. our relationship is good. but MH and i have a policy that i deal with my folks and he will deal with his. so i won't say anything and will leave it up to him to tell her. and hope she stops! hahahahah

We have the same policy.  

We used to have this policy. Then Ben's parents kept getting all upset that I was too "stuck up" to deal with them about issues. Of course, if I DO address problems, then I'm a biatch. I can't win. *sigh*