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Multiples
Poll: WWYD re: leaving LOs in a running car alone at the store...
This really surprised me that OP didn't think there was anything wrong with this.
ETA: This is not meant as an attack in any way shape or form. I do not think this instance makes you a bad mom, it's just a bad choice - we all make them, no one is perfect. Your LOs are all too precious to risk harm coming to them and you can't be lulled into a false sense of security because you have a car alarm or onstar or whatever - those things are easily disabled. Bad things can and do happen and so many things can be prevented by taking the time to think ahead a little bit.
[Poll]
Mom to six awesome kids - Levi is 12, Landen is 8, Gabrielle is 6, Lucas is 3, and Oliver and Samuel are 2 years old. Love my crew.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Poll: WWYD re: leaving LOs in a running car alone at the store...
To me it totally depends on the situation, etc. We're military, and so I've left him in the car while running into the post office (on base) to grab my mail, but he was where I could see the entire time.
I could see dashing across the parking lot to grab a cart.
To actually go in and SHOP, though? No. No way. Not ever. I'm too paranoid someone will steal my car with my child in it.
What post is this referring to, I must've missed it? Depends. For cart corrals like pp mentioned, I would, we normally park very close to one, so it might be fight across the lane, or on the other side of 1 car, but where I can see the van the entire time. Last school year when I'd take DS1 to preschool I was able to park right outside the preschool entrance, the entire area is covered with windows, there are no stairs, it's at a church, and you enter right into the classroom (so again the van was in sight 100% of the time and it wasn't in a popular area where people were walking by (you only get to park down there for special circumstances, like having NB twins), and it was at a church. Next year he'll be at a different preschool that is a brick building and the only window is on a door that enters a hall, so even though it's a church, I wouldn't in 1 million years leave them in the car because I wouldnt' be able to see them the entire time. I would never go into a store or anything though.
I guess for me, if I can see them the entire time then I MIGHT, but if I had to take my eyes off of them for even 1 minute I wouldn't.
I would never leave them in a running car, but I have left them in the car for a minute or two while I run in and grab the dry cleaning or pick up a pizza or something. I always try to pay over the phone or ahead of time so I can just run in and run out. And I seriously will park RIGHT in front of the door and keep my eye on the car the whole time. But I always have shut off the car and locked it. I can't imagine I would do this in the summer when it's hot though.
But, as far as what the poster below did, sometimes we just do things that make sense at the time and in retrospect we see that maybe it wasn't our most stellar parenting decision. I know this has happened to everyone and don't see any need to flame her for it!
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
Never at a grocery store. Like I said in the previous post, I will park right next to a cart return that way I am right next to them. Never would I get out like the PP at a Walmart though.
I have left them in the car to go inside to pay for gas. But I make sure I can see the vehicle from where I am inside. We have 3 sets of keys for the car so I leave the car running with the AC/heat on, lock the doors, and then get in with the other set.
What do you ladies do when you have to go inside a gas station? Take them in or leave them outside?
Edited: spelling
I would never leave the kids in a running car.
I drop my older child at preschool and usually have the babies with me. I have another mom I know "hang out" by the car so I can run my daughter in. This was especially helpful during the loooong, cold winter months.
I try to find as many drive through options as possible (dry cleaner, post office etc).
It's hard with 3, I can't lie. But leaving them in a running car would terrify me.
I'm not flaming her one bit. It's her vehicle, her kids. This post was just asking if *I* would ever leave my child(ren) alone and my answer is most definitely no. Even for quick trips to grab something that was ready, I take my son in. When I have twin infants and a toddler, I'll just have my husband run any errands.
That's why I like this board, other than a very few instances, it's basically flame and judgement free. It's about survival over here LOL
pay at the pump for gas....no liquids for mommy if *I* didn't plan ahead
I missed the original post but here's my 2 cents...I'm sure things differ from state to state but I know someone who go arrested and charged with child endangerment for leaving her child in the car while she ran into the store for a few minutes. He was asleep when she ran in and by the time she got back out the police were there, breaking into the car to get the baby out and she was arrested.
I don't think I would have done it anyway, but I definitely would NEVER even consider it now.
My rule is that I never leave my children in a car where there's a door between us. I would never go into a store and leave them outside. Even if it was for a moment, and even if I could still see them. No way. I'll leave them in my own garage, but I don't even feel comfortable with them in the car in my driveway.
99% of the reason I'm still using infant car seats is because I don't want to leave one alone in the car while I take the other into daycare. I'd rather haul a million pounds just so I can have them with me at all times.
My grocery store has double carts, although they aren't usually in the outside corrals. Regular carts are always outside though. I park next to the corral, strap one into the regular cart, carry the other, and re-load them into the double cart once inside.
I usually do but there are some places out here in Hicksville USA that don't have pay at the pump. I usually try to avoid those gas stations if I can, but sometimes I can't.
I pay at the pump too. To the OP - If you have a hard time taking LOs with you places, get a sitter. There's nothing wrong with getting a sitter so you can run errands, no one is supermom. Just because you can handle taking them with you doesn't mean you always have to.
I would not leave my kids in a running car and run into the store, no. However, I do live in a condo and if there is not someone there (i.e. my husband or a neighbor) who can help me bring in a baby, I have had to take one baby, lock the car (with it turned off), run the first baby into the house and put him in a safe place and then run out and get the other baby. It is my absolute last resort and I hate to do it but there have been a handful of times where I had no other choice. There are stairs down from the parking lot and up to my condo that make a stroller not an option.
In regards to the post you're talking about, we all make mistakes and maybe she could have made a better/different choice but I have to be honest, I think creating a poll referencing her choice is a little harsh.
For gas, I pay at the pump. We've lived here for over a year, I get gas at the same place every time, and I have only seen the inside of our gas station twice. If I had the kids by myself, and needed to run in for any reason (though I can't think of a reason that I would *have* to go in the gas station), I would bring the kids with me, inconvenient as that may be.
I would leave them in a locked car to run to the gas station to pay (if there wasn't pay at the pump) assuming I could be in and out in less than a minute with my eyes on them the entire time. I haven't ever had to do this though.
I would not leave them to run inside Walmart.
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
The original post is in the WTF Thursday post.
Anyway. I get uncomfortable leaving one LO in my locked garage when I'm loading one into the stroller or car, and the other is inside. And I live in super safe whitebread suburbia.
It's inconvenient, sure, to have to make arrangements for someone to come with me if I'm running quick errands like popping into the drug store or post office so they can sit in the car with the babies, or have someone stay at home with them, but it's either that or bring them in. And I try not to bring them into places where I'll be there for less time than it takes to set up the stroller, get them out of the car, into the stroller, and then reverse the process on the way out. But if it was that or leave them alone, I'd certainly bring them in, no matter how inconvenient.
I said this in the other post, but I cannot think of a single time I have been out w/the babies w/o a stroller, if not two strollers on me. And I also throw a Baby Bjorn in the car, too, if going out alone, just in case. I'm all about being prepared.
Generally speaking, I don't/wouldn't.
There are a couple of Starbucks that I used to go to where you could park right outside the door. I could see myself parking right outside the door and getting my drink if the line wasn't long, etc. But they opened a drive through Starbucks just down the road, so I haven't had to cross that bridge.
I would leave them in eyesight to go pay for gas...but I always pay with a debit card. I never have cash.
One time I did leave them in the car right outside Benjamin Moore to pay for my paint. I had ordered it ahead of time so I knew it was mixed and ready. I just paid and carried it out. I could see them the whole time.
A couple of times I have left them in the car at my BF's house (in her driveway) if they fell asleep. We'd sit outside and chat.
I didn't see the original post - so I don't know if this is what the OP did - but if I saw someone leave their kids in the car to go grab a shopping cart from a corral, I wouldn't think it was a big deal. If they went inside to do their shopping- that would be bad.
I do my best to park right by a cart corral or a cart sitting in the parking lot. If that can't happen either I'll put one girl in the Ergo I keep in the car and carry the other until we get into the store or carry both of them or put them in the stroller (that doesn't leave the trunk) if a cart isn't necessary. I've never left them in the car while running into a store to get a cart and don't plan on starting now.
Even quick in-and-out trips, they come with me. I do try to plan those when one or both girls are home with daddy because it is a PITA to get them in and out of carseats for a quick trip. But I'd rather be inconvenienced than risk something happening to them.
Take them in with me, always. I usually just don't go in.
Just saw the OP......
Yeah I wouldn't leave them in a car and go inside a big store. I don't know about anyone else but at the Walmarts and Targets I've seen/been to, the parking lot is not right in front of the store. If the car is running and someone took off with it....well it would be too easy is all...
cookiemonster- hahahahahah.
People are wacko, and wacko people steal kids. Not to mention that's just asking for the police to show up and you to get arrested. No one knows when they see kids in a car how long they've been there or if anyone is coming back. Of course they're going to call CPS/the police.