Gosh, I suck.

JenniferTCU

Last night, Jace was following me back to my room, like we do nightly, with his bottle in one hand and blanket in the other. I did a detour and walked into his room instead. I said, "Jace, you are sleeping in your bed tonight." He said no and shook his head. I told him again and got the same response. I put him in his crib and sat down next to it and rubbed him while he drank his bottle. He was crying and not happy about the situation but finally calmed down. 20-30 minutes later, he was asleep (this is how long it always takes in my room, too, so nothing unusual there- which is fine).

I talked to DH for a few minutes then decided to go to sleep because I was exhausted. DH was tired, too, so he came to bed with me. We laid there for 10 minutes and I couldn't stand it. I asked him to please go get my baby. The truth is that as tired as I was, I hated being away from him and needed him next to me.

So, Jace slept with us again. It's apparent that while Jace isn't thrilled to sleep in is crib, his mommy has a bigger issue with it than he does.

My child will be sleeping with me til he's 10.

Peppernut

This is exactly what I think will happen if Margaux ever falls asleep in her own bed.  Have you thought about a gentler transition, like putting his crib in your room?

BrideBuddies

Oh Jen.. that's tough. 

But think of it this way. 

YOU need restful sleep to be a good parent that is mentally and physically healthy.  HE needs restful sleep to be a happy, healthy little boy.  The most restful thing for ALL of you is to give him and you your own space.

My best friend is right where you are and NO ONE is getting a good night's rest in their house.  But she just can't do it, either.

JenniferTCU

Peppernut:

This is exactly what I think will happen if Margaux ever falls asleep in her own bed.  Have you thought about a gentler transition, like putting his crib in your room?

Amy, we should probably try that. The only problem is that our house is on the market. It would make his room look huge and ours look small. lol

JenniferTCU

BrideBuddies:

Oh Jen.. that's tough. 

But think of it this way. 

YOU need restful sleep to be a good parent that is mentally and physically healthy.  HE needs restful sleep to be a happy, healthy little boy.  The most restful thing for ALL of you is to give him and you your own space.

My best friend is right where you are and NO ONE is getting a good night's rest in their house.  But she just can't do it, either.

You are so right. I need sleep and haven't had it in months. Ugh.

ateytelb

Yes, it looks like you may have a little bit of an issue here. We had no problems when Jason slept in his crib. He was in his room and we had a video monitor. Everyone was happy. The problem started when we moved him to a regular bed and he was able to get out. Now he comes to our bed every night and I get kicked many times per night without fail. H doesn't mind b/c he tends to kick me and not H. Not sure what to do about this either.

BrideBuddies

ateytelb:

The problem started when we moved him to a regular bed and he was able to get out. Now he comes to our bed every night and I get kicked many times per night without fail. H doesn't mind b/c he tends to kick me and not H. Not sure what to do about this either.

We're about to move C to his toddler bed (after our trip next week.. maybe).  We plan to put up a tension gate across the doorway of his room so he can't get out and wander around the house at night.   It'll work until he starts to climb the gate, anyway.

Peppernut

ateytelb:

H doesn't mind b/c he tends to kick me and not H. Not sure what to do about this either.

Hehehehe, switch sides.   

fauxshelley

When did this start?  I remember visting you when our boys were 9 mos old and you slept with Jace and didn't sleep a wink.  Somewhere between then and now you have transitioned into this.  Maybe put him in a pack and play in your room and move him farther away every night?  FWIW, Pumpkin slept with me until she was 3, but Jack wants nothing to do with me at night.  I guess every kid is different.  He'll eventually grow out of it, even if you don't.

dianah36

BrideBuddies:

Oh Jen.. that's tough. 

But think of it this way. 

YOU need restful sleep to be a good parent that is mentally and physically healthy.  HE needs restful sleep to be a happy, healthy little boy.  The most restful thing for ALL of you is to give him and you your own space.

My best friend is right where you are and NO ONE is getting a good night's rest in their house.  But she just can't do it, either.

This!

daisydana

Oh Jen. Okay, three things... One, you do not suck. You are a working mom. You miss your little man. Enough said. Okay, number two is going to be tougher - you shouldn't send him mixed signals. He needs to know that Mommy is in charge and he might have done just fine all night (you, my dear, probably wouldn't have but we already knew that). Three... you and your DH deserve, not only sleep, but a healthy sex life. If Jace is in bed with you, you and your hubby aren't connecting. Try, try again. You can do it. All this is said with love by the way. Muah!

pahokie

ateytelb:

Yes, it looks like you may have a little bit of an issue here. We had no problems when Jason slept in his crib. He was in his room and we had a video monitor. Everyone was happy. The problem started when we moved him to a regular bed and he was able to get out. Now he comes to our bed every night and I get kicked many times per night without fail. H doesn't mind b/c he tends to kick me and not H. Not sure what to do about this either.

 

We had the kicking problem, too (and poking and pinching and just generally annoying us and keeping us awake.  We worked on it the not at all fun way - taking DD back to her bed every time she got up and came into our room.  We picked a long weekend to start, so that we didn't have to be as well-rested as during the week.  It was usually me who took her back, because DH did not always wake up when she came in.  Also, if he took her back, she usually struggled out of his arms and ran to me anyway.

It took a few tries, and I usually gave up somewhere after the third of fourth visit in the same night, but it did eventually get better.  It took longer than just the weekend, but those three nights seemed to make a difference.  It's not perfect, but for three nights out of the last four she has stayed in her room until after 5:00 am.  Not ideal, but much better than her being there at 11:30 (or all night!).

Like BB, we used a gate, but we put it in the hallway to keep her away from the stairs and still allow her to get to us.

We felt comfortable taking this approach because she basically fell asleep on me as soon as I picked her up, so there was nothing actually wrong other than wanting mommy & daddy.  Good luck!

pahokie

JenniferTCU:

I talked to DH for a few minutes then decided to go to sleep because I was exhausted. DH was tired, too, so he came to bed with me. We laid there for 10 minutes and I couldn't stand it. I asked him to please go get my baby. The truth is that as tired as I was, I hated being away from him and needed him next to me.

So, Jace slept with us again. It's apparent that while Jace isn't thrilled to sleep in is crib, his mommy has a bigger issue with it than he does.

My child will be sleeping with me til he's 10.

You don't suck.  You miss your baby.  It is a tough adjustment, but you will all be better off getting a decent nights sleep.  We eventually did CIO when DD was still in the crib.  I forget the exact age, but it was sometime after she was a year old.  Whenever she woke and night and cried, she would immediately fall back to sleep if one of us picked her up.  We figured this meant that there was nothing wrong other than missing mommy & daddy.  We also figured she was ready to sleep all night in her crib when the CIO worked in just a few days.  DH and I were waking up at the times she usually cried for a few nights before we adjusted to the joy of uninterrupted sleep.

Of course, everything went to hell and we had to start over when we transitioned her to a toddler bed, but we have been working on that and it seems to be improving.

Hope you get it sorted out soon.  Sleep is a good thing!  Good luck!

indianasunshine

Oh, Jen, you don't suck!  I miss M too, especially when I work late and he's already asleep when I get home.  I know I wouldn't sleep with him in our bed at night because I am terrified of one of us rolling over on him.  No advice, just hugs!

NewMrs07

Oh no! Personally, I am sooo happy I decided to put A in his crib, in his own room, at 2 months old. He loves his crib and we can all sleep better. I have a neighbor who still has her 19 month-old in their bed and she doesn't know how to stop that. I hope you can find a way to transition him, it's so worth it to have the bed to yourselves. I'm a selfish sleeper and I need my zzzz's!

peeper72

Oh my stars! Jen!? You DON'T suck. You love your boy. I can't think of anything more opposite of "suck". He won't be sleeping with you when he's 16 so why push it? When you're ready, you'll be ready and it will feel right. Until then, drink him in. He's not a baby forever...

35baby

My boyfriend who already has kids (this is my first) tells me when they are newborn you keep a bassinet with you in the room.  I figure after some time she will go into her own room, in her own crib. Don't think I am going to mind the occasional "can I sleep in here with you guys please" routine.  I cannot fathom having sleep with us all the time though.  His youngest daughter who is turning 11 in June still tries to sleep in his bed even with me in there.  I'm sure my feelings will change once I see her and hear her little voice pleading with me.  You love your child so much that you cannot bear not to feel his little body snuggled next to you and I cannot see anything wrong with that.  Actually now I am feeling selfish for not wanting to let her sleep with us when she is older. Take care.