stressed out and blue

harmony8283

Hi Gals, I'm mostly a lurker, but I just needed to vent.

My beautiful sunshine is almost four months old, and I couldn't be happier to be her mother.  My amazing hubby and I are nearing our first year anniversary soon, and he is so wonderful I really am happy to be his wife.

But I feel just totally drained and sad all.the.time.  I'm sad we can't afford for me to stay at home with her, so I feel guilty when I'm at work.  i'm sad we can't afford to move into a larger place.  and I feel isolated from a few gals i *thought* were my friends, but recently have proved me wrong.  One in particular I think is jealous that I have such an amazing family.  Both DH and I are from amazing families and although there are occasional issues, for the most part we all get along great. I guess I just need to find new friends that are in the same place in their lives.  I don't know, maybe I'm just crazy for feeling this way.

thanks for listening.

IkesHawaiian06

Hugs to you! It's totally normal to feel blue and stressed out, but if you feel like it's starting to take a toll on you and how you're able to function, talk to your doctor. The first few months are tough and it's not easy to go back to work when you're leaving your baby behind. Have you talked to anyone about how you're feeling? Maybe your mom or a sister? Keep us posted on how you're doing!

harmony8283

thanks!  yes i've talked with my family, but my mom is stressed too cause she watches my darling girl & my nephew (less than a year apart) while my sister and I are at work... and my sister is going through a divorce.  so i really feel like i shouldnt be feeling this way especially since compared to whats going on with them i have nothing to complain about.  and rationally i dont.  <sigh> i really dont know whats the matter with me to be feeling so sad.

Seattle_JiLLn

You could definitely have post partum depression.  It's nothing to be ashamed about but it's also nothing you can just snap out of or control.   Talk to your doc.   Also, if you're anywhere near Evergreen Hospital, they do a post partum support group I think every other Thursday evening called "This is not what I expected"...   https://www.evergreenhospital.org/landing.cfm?id=880

 

I hope you can get some help.  You don't have to feel so sad.  You can be better. 

doublem

Sending happy thoughts and hugs your way!  I felt a lot of mommy guilt at first about going back to work, and it really wasn't easy at first.  I had to constantly remind myself that having a job I love does benefit my daughter in a lot of ways - not just by bringing in income (which reduces financial stress).  I love that I look forward to my time with her every day instead of feeling burnt out, and that she already has great relationships with our family/friends who care for her while I'm at work.

Keep a close eye on yourself.  Make sure that you are still taking time to have fun and do things for yourself, and not feeling like EVERY moment you aren't working has to be devoted to your sweet baby.  Also, there is no shame in talking with your dr. if you suspect you have PPD!  I know a lot of other ladies on here have worked through that and would be able to give you better support on that front than I can.

Finally, I have the summer off from work (sortof) and would be happy to meet up with you!  I'm sorry that some of your friends seem to be distant.  Some people have a hard time being friends with people who have kids, which I don't totally get.

JRS72206

Hugs and well wishes! I think we've all been there!

harmony8283

thanks for all the kind words.   i'll  discuss with my doctor, maybe it is ppd.  and thanks doublem! It'd be fun to meet up sometime this summer. are you a teacher?

kristalovesjared

JRS72206:

Hugs and well wishes! I think we've all been there!

I agree! I was feeling the same way when DD was that little! It's a huge adjustment having a baby to raise! Not sure where you live, but watch the board for meet ups! Everyone here is awesome!  

blueLu25

I just wanted to add that with my first, around four months was a big turning point for us. Baby starts doing a lot more- sitting up, more interactive, etc and it really helped! Also, we do a lot of get-togethers on this board and you should some and meet some ladies in real life. Its a great bunch of women!

Kglan

Seriously check out the "It's not what I expected" post partum disorder group.  It saved me!  I had anxiety that didn't show up until Zach was 5 months old, then would come and go thru a yr.  It gets better I sware!

Kglan

Not sure why my ticker says that Zach is only 1yr and shows his 7month pic!  He is 21 months old!  :-)

doublem

harmony8283:

thanks for all the kind words.   i'll  discuss with my doctor, maybe it is ppd.  and thanks doublem! It'd be fun to meet up sometime this summer. are you a teacher?

I am - seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, too!  This summer I am doing some tutoring and a little chauffeuring of my friends' kids to/from daycamps, but otherwise I will have lots of mommy time, I think!