Registry Question

2mommiesinoh

Kind of a random question but it is a debate I have been having with myself all morning. 

My friend is getting married this Sunday (yes I am a LAST minute shopper) and they are registered at store X and only store X. Ann and I refuse to shop at store X because of some of their policies and thing they have done. I have printed their registry and I am debating on whether or not to go to sotre X and buy ONLY their gift then head to my normal Friday shopping spot for the weekly trip or just buy something similar from their registry at my normal store.

It is not about saving the trip. If the majority consensus is buy the registry item at store X than I will. It is about the commitment we made not to support store X (not like my measley $40/week really impacts their profits but it makes me feel better).

madisonpeas

Is there any way you can buy EXACTLY the same item at another store?

jayangel

If you can find the exact same item at another store then buy it elsewhere otherwise I would just make an exception and purchase the one item at store X.

Two*True

Personally I'd suck it up and buy it at store X unless I had a coupon or something and could score it for a great deal elsewhere.  Often time it's much easier to return things from a registry which is why I would lean towards buying it from store X.

Kershnic

Buy something at your normal store.  No reason to abandon your principles just because that's where your friend registered.  Many many things people register for are available at many stores, and you have no obligation to purchase something off the registry at all.  Just don't accidentally buy a cheaper version of something (or a version with substantially different features) so they feel obligated to keep something that would be redundant with what they really want!

InfamousQBert

personally, i'd just write a check and put it in a card.

2mommiesinoh

I am pretty sure I can get the exact same thing at another store. That is why I printed the registry so I would have pictures, item descriptions, etc. I would include the gfit receipt that way if they decided they did not want it they could return it easily...

2mommiesinoh

InfamousQBert:

personally, i'd just write a check and put it in a card.

I thought about this too but I HATE giving money and gift cards. It is something my mom instilled in me. She NEVER gives cash/checks/gift cards claiming they are too impersonal and show little thought/consideration for the receipient.

InfamousQBert

2mommiesinoh:

InfamousQBert:

personally, i'd just write a check and put it in a card.

I thought about this too but I HATE giving money and gift cards. It is something my mom instilled in me. She NEVER gives cash/checks/gift cards claiming they are too impersonal and show little thought/consideration for the receipient.

and i get that. but things have changed a lot, etiquette wise, when it comes that "rule". try to think about the couple and what they will think, rather than what your mom would think. we specifically asked for money, rather than gifts, because we have all the junk we need. i know they've registered, but if you're close to them, and they know you care about them, i think money is fine, especially if it's accompanied by a letter.

my only other thought is was the PPs said. see if you can find the exact same thing elsewhere. if everything in your price range is a store branded item, i don't know what to suggest, unless you want to make something for them.

jeannkerricotober09

buy it in another store.  I have the same problem.. my store X is Target.  Won't do it.

Kershnic

jeannkerricotober09:

buy it in another store.  I have the same problem.. my store X is Target.  Won't do it.

I am curious what your reasoning is?  I know there was a big public controversy (last year?  two years ago?) about them donating to a PAC that in turn donated to an anti-gay candidate, although my assessment was that the link was tenuous.  And they have a good record of being a positive employer for LGBT people and giving back to the communities they are located in.  But I know everyone has their own reasoning for why to support who/what.  (DW and I certainly have ours too... but I fear we may spend enough at Target to make up for your boycott )

Kershnic

2mommiesinoh:

InfamousQBert:

personally, i'd just write a check and put it in a card.

I thought about this too but I HATE giving money and gift cards. It is something my mom instilled in me. She NEVER gives cash/checks/gift cards claiming they are too impersonal and show little thought/consideration for the receipient.

I have the same issue!!  I know I always appreciate money and giftcards, but my internalized voice of my mother will not let me give them... 

InfamousQBert

Kershnic:

jeannkerricotober09:

buy it in another store.  I have the same problem.. my store X is Target.  Won't do it.

I am curious what your reasoning is?  I know there was a big public controversy (last year?  two years ago?) about them donating to a PAC that in turn donated to an anti-gay candidate, although my assessment was that the link was tenuous.  And they have a good record of being a positive employer for LGBT people and giving back to the communities they are located in.  But I know everyone has their own reasoning for why to support who/what.  (DW and I certainly have ours too... but I fear we may spend enough at Target to make up for your boycott )

they do have a good record on the whole, but my big issue is the fact that they've refused to apologize for the donation. they've held fast that it was okay. my feeling is that, obviously, they have a right to do whatever they want. i don't agree with the Citizens United decision that allowed these kinds of donations, but they're legal now. i will choose not to support businesses that use that new right to harm me and my family or causes i support. it's hard. i LOVE target's products, and DW is less steadfast on this than i am, but we haven't been there since the incident.

if they would apologize and say they will never do that kind of thing again, i would seriously reconsider. but they've dug their heels in and are being stubborn about it, which i don't respect at all.

2mommiesinoh

I was not going to mention that it was Target but since someone else already outed it I will admit that. I will confess I do miss Target greatly but after all that transpired, including some personal issues when Ann was an employee there a number of years ago we no longer shop there. Like I said my measley $40/week may not mean much to them but we feel better about it.

InfamousQBert

well, it's your $40, and our however much, and a bunch of others too. that's how social movements work. i know they're still going gangbusters, but at least we're doing what we can, and talking about it online helps others find out who might have missed what happened, or not understood it fully.

Kershnic

InfamousQBert:

Kershnic:

jeannkerricotober09:

buy it in another store.  I have the same problem.. my store X is Target.  Won't do it.

I am curious what your reasoning is?  I know there was a big public controversy (last year?  two years ago?) about them donating to a PAC that in turn donated to an anti-gay candidate, although my assessment was that the link was tenuous.  And they have a good record of being a positive employer for LGBT people and giving back to the communities they are located in.  But I know everyone has their own reasoning for why to support who/what.  (DW and I certainly have ours too... but I fear we may spend enough at Target to make up for your boycott )

they do have a good record on the whole, but my big issue is the fact that they've refused to apologize for the donation. they've held fast that it was okay. my feeling is that, obviously, they have a right to do whatever they want. i don't agree with the Citizens United decision that allowed these kinds of donations, but they're legal now. i will choose not to support businesses that use that new right to harm me and my family or causes i support. it's hard. i LOVE target's products, and DW is less steadfast on this than i am, but we haven't been there since the incident.

if they would apologize and say they will never do that kind of thing again, i would seriously reconsider. but they've dug their heels in and are being stubborn about it, which i don't respect at all.

 I also  disagree with the court decision, and agree that I wish Target would apologize.  I think we have a lot of work to do to disconnect pro-business and conservative economic policies from conservative social policies.  But my opinion is that Target donating to  a pro-business PAC has been blown out of proportion.  I also believe that the business practices of their leading competitors (most especially Walmart) are worse.  However, although I shop frequently at Target and have no idea what 2mommies' alternative is, I stand by my original statement that she shouldn't compromise her principles for a registry gift! 

InfamousQBert

"I also believe that the business practices of their leading competitors (most especially Walmart) are worse."

i 1000% agree with that. we're lucky enough to live in a major city, with lots of choices (target & wal-mart are actually not very convenient, compared to other smaller stores near us) and have enough money, that we don't have to shop at either of those stores. i know that others are more limited in their choices for many reasons, and really don't judge. we all make choices, for lots of different, intertwining reasons, and some of mine won't mesh with some of yours, even though we share some obvious similarities.

Wundervoll

Ah, this is tough, I know it was much nicer for me personally to be given gifts either on my registry or from a store I was registered at- but I did appreciate any gifts that I was given. If you do not want to shop at that store, you could try looking for something similar at another store? Or one woman actually gave me a combination husband/wife gift and I *loved* it. She gave us some candles, a few gourmet deserts, wine/two wine glasses, and a movie coupon. It was actually pretty creative.

Kershnic

InfamousQBert:

"I also believe that the business practices of their leading competitors (most especially Walmart) are worse."

i 1000% agree with that. we're lucky enough to live in a major city, with lots of choices (target & wal-mart are actually not very convenient, compared to other smaller stores near us) and have enough money, that we don't have to shop at either of those stores. i know that others are more limited in their choices for many reasons, and really don't judge. we all make choices, for lots of different, intertwining reasons, and some of mine won't mesh with some of yours, even though we share some obvious similarities.

Yep, this is absolutely true.  I also live in a major city and have some flexibility with how I spend my money, but we each make our choices.  I am neither judging you nor feeling judged.  I was just wondering if there was more information I didn't have.  Thanks for discussing!