Help me figure DH out, please!

squishysgal

So, I have posted pretty much since the 6-9 board that I was pretty sure I wanted another baby and DH was not as into the idea. Anyways, I let it go (as was suggested here) and every 3 to 6 months I have brought it up to test the waters. Well, at last check in (this weekend) he said "Well, if you really want this then fine." I said to him that I am certainly alright with stopping with one, but that I feel like I will always wonder if we should have had another and I worry I will regret it later if we don't. He just repeated his statement. I explained to him that his comment is less than enthusiastic and I certainly don't want to go into having another baby with the opportunity for him to say "See this is why we shouldn't have had another" or "Well, you wanted another one." (Even he agreed he would probably say these things) Not to mention, I want him to be excited and I worry that he wouldn't be.

Am I worrying too much? WWYD?

 

franciscaz

I've heard other girls who are having this issue have actually had a little bit of couples counseling for this problem and it helped to get everyone for certain on one page.  This might be an issue for DH and I (I'm 100% done but DH is just still on that fence hoping).  I think he has given it up but if he brings it up and starts pushing than I'll probably try the counseling route with him.

ilovemygirls

I also wouldn't feel comfortable moving ahead, giving the less than enthusiastic response he gave you.  Are there any concerns w/your age & timing of pregnancy?  If you're 'older' I can see you feeling that bio clock ticking (I am an older mom, so I get that), but if you're younger then maybe you have a wider time frame to work with.   Are there any financial concerns he might be worried about? 

It doesn't sound like you're harping on him, just gently bringing it up periodically but if you aren't feeling closer to being on the same page about it, a short stint of counseling as the other poster suggested might be helpful.  Good luck

mlc92404

I think its hard to know how you will really feel once its happened.  DH actually brought up wanting to have #2 before I did.  After talking about things we decided to quit being careful and I got pg about 6 months later.  DS #2 is now 8 months and even though DH was the one who originally wanted this, he has not been as helpful with having a baby around as he was with our first.  He still is very happy we had #2 but has no interest in the baby stage (he had no clue he'd feel this way when we decided to get pg with #2)

skittles_123

I would not feel comfortable having another child with that type of response. I would give it some more time and maybe wait until he brings it up?  Or sit down and talk with him about any reservations he might have. This is a huge decision and there has to be 100% total buy in and excitement of both on board when it comes to another child.