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Told my mom via email

CrystalDaunCrystalDaun
in Two Under 2

My mom is never happy. She wasn't happy when I got preg. w/ DD. She made a comment not to have more kids and I got preg. w/ DS. She was very negative through out all of it. I have been dreading telling her about baby #3.

I feel kind of bad about telling her via email but we just do not have a good relationship and everytime I talk to her on the phone I feel terrible. She is just very mean. She puts me down. She is very negative over things that make absolutely NO sense at all. One day she accused me of taking my kids to the zoo. I mean accused, not asked "hey, did you go to the zoo?" I mean "So.....you took the kids to the zoo today?!" and when I told her no, that we went to the park she called me a liar. I have no idea where this crazy outburst came from. We really went to the park. Everytime I try to talk to her about her actions/words it ends up as a fight.

 She does not babysit. She has little interest in the kids. She babysat DD while I was giving birth to DS. She babysat DS while I was in the ER w/ DD in Feb (strep throat w/ an uncontrollable fever). 3 hours later (while still in the ER) she calls to tell me she needs to take her trash cans in and feed her cats so she needs to leave my house. I must find another babysitter. I'm in the ER w/ a cell that only works near the ambulatory door! I had to have DH track down one of his random cousins 'cause I was affraid she'd abandon my son. That is the 1st and LAST time she babysat him.

She was a deadbeat mother, my grandma basically raised me; she's not proving any better as a grandmother.

I guess I'm just emotional and I wish I could have the relationship with her where I could have told her to her face or over the phone and had her be happy. I figured she had a right to know, but I can't deal w/ an outburst. I'm exhausted, I feel like crap and I'm taking care of 2 small kids, I can't put any of the little energy I have towards her negativity. :-(

Sorry for the long vent. I just had to get it out & I won't put anything like this on FB where anyone who knows her would say anything.

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Re: Told my mom via email

  • caymanbridecaymanbride
    Ugh, I'm sorry you have to deal with that. She sounds awful, I'm sorry to say. I think I would have done the same thing (news via e-mail) in your position!
    Aidan Jake 7/25/08 Cooper Cole 7/27/10 Tessa Morgan 8/9/12
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  • hellopoppyseedhellopoppyseed
    I am so sorry you don't have the relationship you want with your mother. You did the right thing. You should avoid criticism and harsh treatment as much as possible. I'm sure this is really hard.
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  • m00n_fire@hotmail.comm00n_fire@hotmail.com

    I feel so bad that you have to go through this. I wish you were my sister, my Mom would love more grandkids! :)

    Baby number two! Coming soon! June 8th.
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  • CrystalDaunCrystalDaun
    imagem00n_fire@hotmail.com:

    I feel so bad that you have to go through this. I wish you were my sister, my Mom would love more grandkids! :)

    this actually made me laugh (in a nice way) :-) It's so true how most mom's want more grandchildren! My MIL is happy for us and she does get to see the kids once a week so at least they have an active loving grandmother in their lives, I just wish they could have two.

    Thank you for all of the kind words ladies. :-)  If she ever replies I'll post an update. It would be nice if she would call.I left the ball in her court and told her I'd love to talk about this either in person or over the phone after she had time to think about things but that I did not want the discussion to be of a negative tone. So we'll see. I can only hope for the best.

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  • moonfaeriemoonfaerie member
    I'm sorry you have to deal with a parent like that. My dad is a pretty miserable person, and I rarely talk to him because he only has negative things to say, so I can sort of relate. Just use this as incentive to be such an awesome mom that your kids will never feel that way about you. That's what I do. Have a H&H pregnancy.

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  • astroMomastroMom member
    imagem00n_fire@hotmail.com:

    I feel so bad that you have to go through this. I wish you were my sister, my Mom would love more grandkids! :)

    DS born 8/2010 - preliminary stages of SN int'l adoption - fur mama to 2 shelter dogs;  cloth diapering, babywearing, EBFing mama

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  • designer_wifeydesigner_wifey

    I'm sorry your relationship with your mom isn't good.  :(  It sounds like you're doing the right thing by not having much of a relationship with her though.  You certainly don't need that added stress and her negativity.

    I know how sucky it is to not have a good relationship with your mom, b/c I'm in a similar situation.  :(  In the end though, I want the cycle to end with me and be the best mom to my DS I can be, as I'm sure you are a fabulous mom to your kids!   ((HUGS))

    BTW, CONGRATS!!!!!!!! 

    <a href="http://s1236.photobucket.com/albums/ff454/designer_wifey/?action=view
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