Mom drama
MegZRN
member
I'm gonna keep this short, or try to. My sister is bipolar and won't take her meds. I've posted about her on the board before-nothing but drama with her. So I made the decision to cut her out of my life the week before I delivered. My sister is 29, married, and still lives with my mom. My mom is an enabler. She won't admit that my sister needs help. She refuses to see that my sister is a bit on the crazy side. My mom is very upset that I've cut my sister out of my life. Its "unfair" "wrong". Whatever. But because I won't let me sister meet LO my mom made the decision that she wasn't going to either. She doesn't want to "hurt my sister's feelings."
Well my sister finally gave my mom "permission" to meet Molly. My mom keeps saying "I'll come see her before you go back to work." She was supposed to come last Thursday but she "got called into work." Well honestly, I don't even want my mom to meet her now. She's 5 weeks old and you haven't made the effort to come see your first and only grandchild. F you.
She keeps sending me text messages asking me to send pictures of Molly to her phone. I don't want to seem like a brat, but why should I? You haven't made the effort to meet her so I don't want you seeing pictures of her.
Not gonna lie, I'm being a child about it and just ignoring her. I don't know what else to do.
WWYD?
Also sorry for all the quotes LOL
Re: Mom drama
That's pretty much my stance on it now. I'm not going to tell her that she can't come, but I don't want to send you pictures either. Thanks for not making me feel like a total brat! LOL
Mac and cheese lover!
Girl, there comes a time in life where you have to cut toxic people out for the sake of your own sanity. Your sister is not healthy...your enabling mother is not healthy. You have to make sure your mind is right for your LO. You aren't being a brat at all. Your mother could've come to see your baby weeks ago, nevermind how your sister feels about it she is a grownass woman. Your mother doesn't need your sister's blessing to see her only grandchild. I bet you the only reason why she has made excuses on why she hasn't come is because she is still "afraid" of your sister's reaction.
This x1000. My inlaws are insane, and I've made the decision that they will never see our son. Period. You don't have the right to treat people poorly just because you're family, and being family doesn't give you the "right" to access to your grandchild.
All of this and more. My mother can't see my child but I'll email her pictures and updates when she asks for them. She hasn't mentioned coming up (3 hours away) and I don't mention it either. My mother likes to pretend that she's a good grandma by knowing details and having pictures. I learned this watching my mother's limited interactions with my nephew-my sister went so far as to buy my mom a new computer and set up skype for her when she was home so she could skype with my nephew-she never bothered to log in....
My mom apparently told several people that she was going to come up and stay with me this week while DH was at work to help me out with my recovery. Funny-she never mentioned anything like that to me so when people started calling asking how we were getting along today I realized what was up.
We have the same mom! My parents are very financially poor, so I know they can't even travel 2,000 miles to see us, but my uncles both contacted me to see if she was visiting, because she was telling everyone she was. I figure sending her $40 worth of pictures lets her brag and pretend but keeps us a safe distance away.
Mac and cheese lover!
LOL! My parents are financially poor but only b/c she spends all of her paycheck on lottery tickets and cigarettes. I used to joke that she paid for several children's education (our state lotto funds education) just not her own
We eloped (b/c of my family drama) and we had a reception afterwards. I asked my mom to come up before and stay for a few days as she had never come to visit (I live 3 hours away) and go shopping with me and that I was buying. She refused and showed up on time wearing her best camo shirt and tan pants and mowing shoes. I grew up in the country-but DH grew up in a nice upper class suburb and I am a professional-I wanted her to be comfortable around his family and my friends. Instead she sat out on the curb and chain smoked and avoided everyone and I spent half the reception trying to convince her to meet everyone.
I always get the-"you just think you are better than me b/c you went to college." Hello-as my mother shouldn't you be proud that I've bettered myself by going to college and completing graduate school?
Ok vent over- OP sorry to hijack your post!
I have a nice combo of that. My mom has a graduate degree, has written a book, and taught college part-time, but she seriously HAS to have a personality disorder. When I was 20, she tried to shoot her sis and SIL and went to jail, and I had to raise my sibs including my 2-year-old brother. I Googled her out of curiosity to see what she posts online (after seeing stuff she'd written about me when my book came out), and she posts to Christian parenting sites as if she's the world's best mom! She can't really get much for employment after her arrest, so I feel bad, but it's mental help she needs!
I never work out in relationships with people of different social classes. Luckily, Jared is from the trailer park in our hometown ;-)
Also sorry, OP!
Mac and cheese lover!