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Parenting
s/o skipping: holding back
My son will be 5 this summer and I signed him up for kindergarten last week.
He's made amazing strides in pre-K this year, BUT ... he will be one of the youngest in his class next year. And while he is very advanced in reading and math (both on a 1st/2nd grade level), he's a little behind in social skills.
Two of my mom friends are holding their sons back this year (also both summer boy birthdays) and starting K in 2012 instead. It makes me wonder if I'm making the right decision to go ahead and send DS to K this fall anyway. (cutoff is Sept 1 and he's Aug 2 b-day. 1st day of school is Aug 8)
Advice/tips/helpful anecdotes? I've heard it doesn't matter so much in elem school, but middle school will be harder for him when the peer stuff starts. sigh.
G: 08-02-06 ~ 
02-21-09 ~ Z: 04-16-11
02-21-09 ~ Z: 04-16-11This discussion has been closed.
Re: s/o skipping: holding back
That's great to know; thanks!
Yeah, at this point I'm going to send him to K and see how it goes ... maybe repeat K if he's not ready for 1st next year.
I'm a September birthday, and I made the cut off by ~20 days. I did fine, but it was hard at times. I specifically remember being into Barbie dolls still when my friends were moving on. I also think I was way too immature when it came to college decisions and stuff, but I mean, that's hindsight. And who knows how I would have done if I'd been back a year, you know? My brother was also a September birthday, and he ended up repeating K. I don't think that's a big deal, either.
I would just play it by ear - see how he does maturity wise.
What do his PreK teachers say? Is red-shirting common in your area?
DD is also one of the youngest in the class 8/22 with a 9/1 cut off. She did PreK at the same elementary school, both her daycare and Prek teachers said she was ready. I was a summer birthday and there were times in elem school that I had a hard time (socially), i did much better in Middle and High school- I was SAHM kid though. DD is a social butterfly that combined with her teachers advice--I decided to send her and she excelled. DD did awesome this year! She is in the highest reading group. I can tell you that I do notice some difference in her and her peers. Most of them are 6 some even turning 7. She will turn 6 on the 1st day of 1st grade. DD is still in the princess stage. I have noticed that some of her friends are moving onto more grown up shows--iCarly, etc while it hasn't had an impact on her yet. I do worry it might. We don't live in an area with a lot of redshirting--so that is another reason why I didn't hold her back. It might be more awkward for her to the be oldest? biggest? etc
If his preschool teachers voice concerns I would be more hesitant that coupled with the fact that it does sound like you live in an area with redshirting. You have some time to decide. You could call the school and see if they have KG readiness test or something similar...maybe just talk with a teacher. I know talking with ours made me feel much better about the decision.
Nathan started Kindy, the next year he did 1/2 day Kindy and 1/2 day 1st grade. This was great for him acedemically, but socially it wasn't good. When he went to Kindy the 1st time, he formed some friendships. When they moved on all day, and he didn't he kind of lost those friendships and didn't really form any with the Kindy class the 2nd time.
I don't think he was ready for Kindy the 1st time around, Nathan was in school since he was 3, I wish they would have realized, or at least told me that he was not ready for Kindy. He is the oldest, and for what he's gone through, I was very proud of what he could do. Not having any guidence from the preschool, I didn't even question whether he was ready or not.
In hindsight, I wish I would have waited another year to send him to kindergarten. If you are questioning whether or not to wait to send him to Kindy, I would wait another year
I could have written this post myself. DD started a few days after turning five. Both her Pre-K teachers and her therapist felt like she was ready. It wasn't really that big of a deal in KG, but I've started to have some doubt now that she's in first grade. DD transferred in the middle of the year to a school with a 9/30 cut-off so while she turned six the day before school started, some of the kids in her class are 7 & 8 because of the later cut-off date.
Like Shopgirl mentioned, DD has moved completely out of Princess, Dora, etc and right into iCarly, Victorious, Big Time Rush & Justin Bieber. I've also noticed that the girls in her class seem to already have some boy craziness. I'm sure I'm oversensitive to the subject, but DD does come home regularly and tell me about so-and-so going out with or breaking up with so-and-so. I feel like DD is still to young for some of this stuff, but has forced herself to do it so she'll fit in with her peers.
I would also consider whether or not KG is all day or half day. Having subbed in several all day KG's this year, I will tell you that it is 100 times harder to deal with the boys, no matter what the age. I just really feel like it's asking too much for some of them to sit still and stay focused for a full day.
redshirting is common down here for boys because school starts in Aug and the cutoff is Sept 1.
DS was tested prior to c-mas and it was the recommendation at the time that he be held back. But you can't repeat pre-K here. However, since c-mas, he has become a different kid; his teachers are incredibly impressed with the progress he's made.
I feel like he's sort of on the cusp and I'm afraid of making the wrong decision. He's a big kid (he looks like he's 5 or 6 already, even though he's only 4) and he's really smart. I'm afraid that holding him back will be harder on him for those reasons.
Also I'm afraid of him forming peer relationships in K and then being held back and having to start all over again.
While his reading and math skills are advanced, his writing skills are poor. Because he's so uneven (some things so ahead, some things behind, some things right on track) I don't want him to be bored or lost or have trouble.
GAH. I don't know why this is so hard!
I think it really depends on the child, the school/district and your cut off (ours is 12/1 - but DS is still the 4th youngest in his class). DS has a summer bday and I sent him ahead to KG even though other moms were holding their DS's back. He was so ready academically, but a little behind socially. He is the kind of kid that needs to and enjoys being around older kids, though. I really didn't know what to expect and I was open to the possibility of deciding not to go to KG at the last minute or having to pull him out mid-year if it wasn't going well. He has definitely had some bumps in the road, but he's doing great now and there's no question that he should go onto 1st grade.
A lot of that is his personality - he does terribly around younger kids - sinks to their maturity level instead of rising above it. Some of it is due to the school and it's make up - there a good amount of kids who have no PS experience and so the 1st half of the year was really about being a good student and basic education vs. learning to read, do math, etc.. Also, his school is also pretty laid back about KG, even compared to others in the district (i.e. it is a developmentally appropriate KG, IMO). They don't believe in giving a lot of homework, sending home sight words or having spelling tests in KG (yet, DS is reading and doing math at grade level), so the experience hasn't been too overwhelming for him. If KG was more demanding there, I might have held him back.
I feel like this a lot. DD has friends that "run" the neighborhood--no parental supervision. Her BFF is turning 7 (in KG) in Sept and another is 7 in 1st grade (different school). They took DD accross the street the other day....oh hell, no!!! I don't know if its my issue or is she too young (i think she is). And because I don't let mine "run" the neighborhood, I am always stuck watching kids- feeding kids.
I've been wanting to get one of those crystal balls for awhile now! it would make everything so much easier.
Christmas 2011
My son is starting kindergarten this fall and will be at the oldest end of his class, turning six in September. For us, we decided that it would be best to give him every social advantage we could and have him be at the older end of his class instead of the younger and to simply supplement his academics outside of school through working with him at home and enrolling him in tutoring programs such as Kumon.
However we're a military family and move frequently, so we deal with a number of cutoffs (most of which are between 9/30 and 12/1, so he makes them but barely with a 9/15 birthday) and that played heavily in to our decision. With us moving every 2-3 years (sometimes more frequently than that) it's going to be vital that he has very strong social skills, something that I would worry about much more if he was one of the youngest children in his grade.
I was sent to preschool because I missed the birthday deadline for K. I could already read and write but had no other kids to play with since I am the oldest. My mom was worried about the social skills more than the academics. I have always been very social. My little brother wasn't and still isn't social and couldn't read or write prior to K but didn't go to preschool first. He did fine in school and became more social but in no way like me...we are just that different.
My older three kids are socially and emotionally a couple years behind their grades (1st. 5th, and 8th) due to some extreme family situations too long to mention here. I worry about them. They have few friends and are very mean to almost everyone. The 1st grader is farther along academically than the older two but his social skills aren't coming along the same.
The jury is still out on the 3yo...he can speak in full sencences, answer in full sentences, read some, problem solve...but he is fearless and very outgoing. NOt sure how that will play out.