Such a liar! (vent)

Jennis22

Ex-FI took DS to his sister's baby shower today and now I'm pissed for several reasons:

1. The people who hosted it have 5 large dogs. He told me the dogs were going to the host's brother's house when I asked. However, when I picked DS up all of the dogs were there. Now, I met these dogs once for a couple minutes over 2 years ago and had no idea how they would be around an infant. That combined with the fact that I used to have a PHOBIA of dogs which took years to get under control should make him understand my fear about the situation. Thank God that they were fine around DS but I'm pissed.

2. The pictures were just put up on Facebook and I see ex-FI with a beer in his hand which pisses me off. I mean, he can't go without beer while he's supposed to be taking care of DS? Then I see some random woman that I've never met with a beer in her hand...and then in the next picture she's holding my son! Of course the ex is no where to be found in any of the pictures where other people are holding him (but at least I knew who the other people were). Knowing him, he probably just handed DS off and went to go bullshit with the guys. I asked him to be careful about who holds him and he told me several times that the only people who were going to be holding him were family like his sisters or his mom. So he was just telling me what I wanted to hear.

3. When I picked DS up, ex-FI was holding him and was standing at a table where people were smoking! He knows I feel strongly about smoking. I don't want DS around smoke...it's not fair to him to have to breathe it in because adults are idiots! (This is coming from an ex-smoker)

I obviously can't trust what he says goes on when I'm not there and I'm severely doubting his judgement. Am I just being crazy? 

I'm thinking of supervising visits from now on since there's no custody agreement at the moment. Actually, my first thought was to tell him to file for custody since I wasn't going to voluntarily let him see DS...but that's just not how I am. I'm way too nice for my own good. 

Feel free to rip me a new one if I'm being an idiot about this... 

sweetie0228

You are being an idiot about this.

None of the things listed here would get him supervised visitation.  YOu will be laughed out of the courtroom.

He has every right to allow his child to be around dogs, people. family, friends of family or the lady at the bus stop as he deems appropriate.  The court will assume he is rational and will appropriately care for the child.  THERE IS NO LAW AGAINST POOR PARENTING.

If you want those types of restrictions on him then the court will apply them equally.  Soooo unless you want a lifetime of you having to get approval from your ex so you can take the LO to hang out with some new friends in your life, you need to start getting over yourself and realize when there are 2 parents in separate lives you don't get to control what happens over there.

 

My suggestions.  Stop being nice.  If he doesn't have CO visitation or custody then you don't allow the child out.

Block his FB so you don't go looking for pics to make yourself angry over.

haleyw458

I agree with sweetie. And it's a beer. I highly doubt he's getting wasted at this baby shower. The only thing in this entire post that I would be mad about is the smoking next to him. Other than that, I think you're being ridiculous.

BostonGayGal

You are not being rational. YOUR dog phobia means that his ability to judge the safety situation with the dogs is probably more accurate than yours. Allowing people to hold a baby is not a big deal. Holding a baby and having a beer is not a big deal. But allowing smoking around the baby is not cool and I would talk to him about that. 

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keychain01

BostonGayGal:

You are not being rational. YOUR dog phobia means that his ability to judge the safety situation with the dogs is probably more accurate than yours. Allowing people to hold a baby is not a big deal. Holding a baby and having a beer is not a big deal. But allowing smoking around the baby is not cool and I would talk to him about that. 

WORD!!!! Just like BBG said, the smoking thing will be the only issue to me.

Jennis22

I no longer have the phobia but I don't think it's selfish to teach my child to be safe around animals that he doesn't know. I also know who took the pictures and it wasn't him.

And, letting go of the fact that he was drinking, no one else would be bothered by someone else that they don't know drinking and then holding their child? That's what is still bothering me about all of this.

sweetie0228

Sorry, Looks like you are going to have to build that bridge and get over it. 

His parenting time he gets to make the call of who HE knows and who HE deems appropriate to hold the baby.

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