NSAHMR: Deployment and not feeling guilty.

Daisy77

I have mentioned before that I have 8 siblings, 4 that I grew up with (through my mom and stepdad) and 4 through my bio-father (no contact with him, he signed away his parental rights). 

As for my siblings through my bio-father, I met his oldest when I was 8 (she was 6), she then switched schools, we lost contact and we first came into contact again 2 years ago when she friend requested me on FB.  Since then, I have had pretty regular contact with both of my sisters through bio-father, plus one of my brothers.  Bday parties for the kids, FB messages, etc.  We have a good time together...the 3 of us even went to a concert together and had a blast!  The other brother?  Eh.  I think he feels nervous around me, like I'm going to bash bio-father. (Note: Both sisters have disowned him.  He was an alcoholic, abusive to their mom, etc.  Both brothers stay in contact since he is their dad.).  Frankly, I barely know the guy and we don't talk about him when we're together.  In fact, even my mom doesn't say much about him except to say he was a jerk (and left her pg when he found out).  My mom and their mom (who has remarried) get along great as well.

Anyway, this brother is in the National Guard and was deployed today.  A going away party was held last weekend, we were invited and attended. A smaller get-together was held last night, just his mom and stepdad, girlfriend and siblings....my/our sister invited us 2 days before.  We didn't attend as I felt he may have wanted a last night with those he's closest to, I don't feel I fall under that category.  Plus....

On FB I noticed that earlier last week he created an event for his deployment ceremony.  He invited 10 people/families.  We were not included...it was public though so I could see it when one of my sibings or their mom clicked on "Attending".  I took that as a sign and chose to not attend the party last night or the deployment ceremony.

Should I feel guilty for not going?  I feel bad that I don't.   I mean, we're not close and he clearly isn't comfortable around me.  I'm really not sure why, my sisters and I figure he just can't accept his dad had another kid before them.  I did post on his FB wall to wish him well and told him to be safe.  Had he invited us to the ceremony, we would have gone....

Wwyt?  

ali-1411

No, I wouldn't feel guilty.  You went to the going-away party, you did your part. Send him a few cards throughout the year and you'll have fulfilled your sisterly duty.