18-mo fighting daycare — The Bump
Potty Training

18-mo fighting daycare

My 18-month-old started potty training recently. Yes, I know it's extremely young, but I think he really is ready for at least some of the time. He has so much physical control that the first time he went on the potty he stopped himself, brought the bowl to dump in the "big" potty, and went back to pee some more in the little one... 15 times. I started by just taking his diaper off after daycare, and saying "peepee goes in the potty." He went without a fuss and loved it so much that as soon as he got home he'd try to rip off his diaper. Last week I decided to have him try out undies at daycare, not just at home, and it so backfired! I don't think they are taking any time to really find out when he needs to go (with 6 toddlers and one adult, it's probably not possible anyway). I found out Friday that his teacher is just setting a timer for every 30 minutes and putting him on the potty. The result of this was an accident every single day, which I thought was okay until I realized WHY he wasn't using it. So starting Friday, DS was just not bothering to use the potty, even at home. He will go if I put him on it, but won't let me know when he needs to anymore. I don't really know what to do. I am thinking about telling daycare to put him back in diapers, and have him only potty train while he's with me... But should I stop that too? I don't want him thinking that he either goes on command, or he goes in his pants when not given the opportunity. I know that he's at an age where if I push too hard it's not going to end well. I just don't know what's "too hard." He knows how, he likes using the potty usually, and he can now say "potty" to tell me when he needs to. Sorry this is so long, but WWYD? TIA :)
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Re: 18-mo fighting daycare

  • *LrCg**LrCg* member

    First, don't let anyone tell you 18 month is too young- its not its a perfect age.  Before disposable diapers kids were PT @ 12-16 months old.  My DS PT at 17 months old- daytime, naps and nightime.  It was super easy- just one day we ditched the diapers and went straight to underwear.  We did it when we were on baby leave and we kept him out of daycare the week that we worked on PT.  So when he returned he was the only one of the 4 kids that were PT (they ranged from age 2-3).  The first few days was not an issue- it was still fun for him but then slowly he would stop telling the DCP and he would have spots (no accidents though) so she just started taking him.  We figured it out quickly that he just didn't want to leave what he was doing- none of his friends had to do that.  So she made adjustments, if he was playing with something he got to take it with him or it was held for him when he returned.  She also started potty breaks- before snack time, before lunch, if they were changing an activity.  A few months later all the other kids PT and she didn't have to do potty breaks anymore- since everyone else was in the same boat, they were all saying when they had to go.  I don't regret PT when we did- in fact I'll do the same with all our kids, its a great time since its before the control fights and "no" phase.  FWIW: I would not put your DS back in diapers at all.  I would talk with the DCP and see what things you can change: first off can she stop the 30 minute timer- he's probably frustrated that he has to go so often.  Can she make it 1 hour and then build it up to 2 hours?  And instead of a timer just say "hey its time to go potty".  We also found that DS HATED it when he was constantly asked if he had to go potty- so the first few weeks we'd just say "hey tell us when you have to go potty"- we do that maybe 2-3 times a day.

    Also please remember this is an 18 month old not a 3 year old.  At 3 years old a child is very much old enough to think: okay I have to go potty, I need to hold it, I need to say I have to go and go to the potty.  Thats a lot to expect an 18 month old to do- be happy if he's willing to hold it until you take him- 1 or 2 hours later, eventually he'll hold it longer and longer and tell you when he has to go.  His mind is so busy with everything right now and he may not want to stop and go potty and just forgets.  Best of luck!

  • I'm so glad you posted your success.  We're going to try PT DD this weekend, and I alternate between looking forward to it and dreading it.  This gives me hope!
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  • *LrCg**LrCg* member

    imageWebbie3:
    I'm so glad you posted your success.  We're going to try PT DD this weekend, and I alternate between looking forward to it and dreading it.  This gives me hope!

    It really was easy and like I said I think its a great age to start it.  One thing that I think really "drove it home" for DS was we would remind him to keep his underwear dry (I know that sounds simple to us but they really have no clue what/why they are PT) and we would also check his underwear periodically (during the first few days) and if they were dry we would congratulate him like crazy- saying tha's awesome you have dry underwear, etc.  If he had a spot we'd say "that feeling you have means you have to go potty- hurry up race me to the potty".  And I really do recommend PT for day, naps and nightime.  I know people say that they can't nightrain that young but I really disagree with that.  I think its confusing for an 18 month old to be told that during the day you have to keep your underwear dry BUT when your sleeping go ahead and pee your pants- that sounds very confusing to a small child.  Best of luck!!

  • DD was fully potty trained AT HOME at 18 months.  Daycare would not help us.  They said they'd "try" but it wasn't what they did in the room she was in at the time.  They said they'd try to remember to send her across the hall.  They never did.  She's 26 months now and we're in pullups. She's just now in the 2s room and they just now told us they don't work on it until the 3s room.  So....that's been our experience.  Good luck to you.  
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  • I had DS PT'ed in March when he was 18 months and I was home from school for a week.  DC didn't even try to help him he would scream that he had to GO and they made him go in his diapers a month later he stopped going at home altogether.  We are trying again and he has some luck but it's hard since he HAD to go in his diapers so many times when he didn't want to.  Make your DC work with him or train later.

     

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