"It's just like having twins"

MaygenDL0ve

This lady stopped me in Hobby Lobby to peer at my babies, one in the double stroller, and the other in my Ergo carrier.  She said she needed write down what stroller and carrier I had because her daughter, who has a 10-month-old, just found out she's pregnant.  "So it's gonna be just like having twins for her!" She kept saying.  Ugh, I reallllllly wanted to put her in her place, but of course I didn't.  I just said, "your daughter should get a carrier so she can put her WALKING baby in the grocery cart and carry the other while she shops".  The lady didn't pick up on my hint that I am completely unable to do this, therefore it is NOT just like twins.

ProwdMommy

Every time I carry two car seats with two babies in and out of places I think about those people who have said this to me too.  And I think to myself, no you have one child that can walk and has some independence.  I have two that are completely reliant upon me for everything.  It is not like having twins.

ougrad1

I think about this all.the.time.

I would MUCH rather have twins than have just finished the infant stage only to be pregnant again and have to do it all over again-yuck!

After they started sleeping through the night, Hudson and Landry have been a piece of cake...it's Emerson that is about to send me to the Looney Farm!

joliemariée

One of the moms in  my playgroup has a 15mth and an almost 3yr old. First time I met her she said "it is just like having twins" abour 10x in our conversation, kind of trying to "bond" with me over it. She is a really nice woman, but iIt was so annoying!! Of course I just smiled and said nothing...because really, how can you explain to someone who has NEVER had actual twins, that no, it is nothing like having twins lady - come spend a day at my house and we can compare notes!

blondek8

I've had one person say that to me and I told them "No, it's not like having twins." "It's not remotely the same." "It's also not a contest."

...people!

2shihtzus

This comment always gets under my skin too.  It's not like I go up to someone who has kids 12 months apart or something and say to them "it's just like having twins."  Because, how the hell do I know, I don't have kids 12 months apart.  I am sure that there are things that are harder about that than having twins sometimes.  Like BlondeK8 said, it's when I get the feeling that they are trying to "compete" that irks me more than anything.  I don't try to compete with my friends with singletons on who has it harder so I don't understand why people try to compete with me.  Who cares who has it harder, being a parent is hard for all kinds of reasons, I really don't care who "wins" on the degree of difficulty scale.

monkski

sometimes I think it would actually be harder having two of different ages. At least they have the same needs right now and I'm not trying to pack things for two different stages when we go out! Regardless, I have no idea and it also really depends on the kids themselves. Our twins are really easy, but I bet it's a lot harder if you have even one really fussy, colicky or sick kid. Everyone's situation is different and people just shouldn't compare. Still that comment bothers me too! But I try to give people the benefit of the doubt that they are just trying to connect.

Shelley-Bean

I hate that comment!!  I feel like saying "no, unless your children are born within an hour of each other, it's NOT like having twins!!  Nothing is like having twins except actually having twins!"

doz&koz

I'd like to just start saying "No, it's really not" and then walk away, but I just can't do it!

L D

Im sorta B*tchy (and over the last 5yrs have lost my filter) and just say "oh, how is that?  Mine were born at the same time..I had 2 crying and waking up every few hours at night at the same time.  A toddler and a newborn is nothing like twins. Im sure it has its own challenges but still not the same as twins."  I say it nicely but make sure my point is made clear.

Landon was 1yr and 11 days old when the girls were born.  I have NEVER said my 3 are like triplets.  Landon had JUST started walking when they were born but he was nothing like having 3 newborns.  He was sleeping through the night, no paci, no bottles (could hold his own sippy)  and somewhat independent.

MaygenDL0ve

L

Im sorta B*tchy (and over the last 5yrs have lost my filter) and just say "oh, how is that?  Mine were born at the same time..I had 2 crying and waking up every few hours at night at the same time.  A toddler and a newborn is nothing like twins. Im sure it has its own challenges but still not the same as twins."  I say it nicely but make sure my point is made clear.

Landon was 1yr and 11 days old when the girls were born.  I have NEVER said my 3 are like triplets.  Landon had JUST started walking when they were born but he was nothing like having 3 newborns.  He was sleeping through the night, no paci, no bottles (could hold his own sippy)  and somewhat independent.

YES, THIS..  I actually WOULD like to get into a competition as to who has it harder.  I would argue that most twins in infant stage is HARDER than a toddler + infant.  Toddlers understand English, sit up, eat on their own, play with you, even try to "help out".   

gumiberg

its all situational.  my kids were easy babies...two of them was not that hard.  but a colicky baby and a two-year old?!  HELL NO!  since i now have toddlers, i can tell you that they are demanding and time consuming. i cannot imagine having a demanding toddler, and a demanding infant.

two colicky infants? probably the hardest situation but again, its all situational.

this comment does not bother me at all.  are two young kids the same as twins? no.  but is it similar? yes.  my friend has a 2 yr old and a 3yr old and i relate to her a lot.  yes, there are slight differences (like she is potty training only one, and i will later be potty training two) but we do have the same challenges.

also OP, if you cant put your 6-month yr old in the cart quite yet...you should be able to very soon!  life gets easier once you can put one in the cart. 

MaygenDL0ve

gumiberg:

its all situational.  my kids were easy babies...two of them was not that hard.  but a colicky baby and a two-year old?!  HELL NO!  since i now have toddlers, i can tell you that they are demanding and time consuming. i cannot imagine having a demanding toddler, and a demanding infant.

two colicky infants? probably the hardest situation but again, its all situational.

this comment does not bother me at all.  are two young kids the same as twins? no.  but is it similar? yes.  my friend has a 2 yr old and a 3yr old and i relate to her a lot.  yes, there are slight differences (like she is potty training only one, and i will later be potty training two) but we do have the same challenges.

also OP, if you cant put your 6-month yr old in the cart quite yet...you should be able to very soon!  life gets easier once you can put one in the cart. 

I agree it's situational.  I had 2 tiny colicky babies and was/am alone most their lives.  I've logged countless hours nursing a baby in a chair while the other screams for me, completely unaware of what on earth this big scary world is all about, not liking life one bit cuz mama is not there for him.  Meanwhile my heart breaks.  I look at my other mom friends w/ an infant and toddler with amazement when, while holding their baby, can SAY to their toddler "I will be right with you, dear" and the toddler UNDERSTANDS. 

janjag

Took DS for his 1mos check up yesterday... alone.  Whenever I take him anywhere alone it's like a friggin vacation.  Having 2 newborns (for me) was WAY harder.  There was no sleep, no down time.  I had one somewhat easy baby, and one somewhat fussy (reflux and non-sleeping) baby. 

Anyway, at the ped's office yesterday, a MoM came through with her older child (4ish), twin toddlers in the Bob, and wearing an infant.  After she walked out two other moms looked around like, "wow, what a freak show."  Then the two moms starting talking and eventually it got around to how one of the ladies had two kids who were like twins.  Get this -- because her older child was really small, and her younger child was really big.  Haha, so in size they LOOKED like they could be twins.  I think they were about 18mos apart. 

I didn't say a thing.  It was fun to be a singleton mom and just listen to what other moms say

janjag

ougrad1:

I think about this all.the.time.

I would MUCH rather have twins than have just finished the infant stage only to be pregnant again and have to do it all over again-yuck!

After they started sleeping through the night, Hudson and Landry have been a piece of cake...it's Emerson that is about to send me to the Looney Farm!

You crack me up!  Emerson looks absolutely adorable, but I see how she's sending you to the looney farm... something in her eyes

And, "just finished the infant stage" is key.  Those first 7mos for me where so hard.  9mos is my favorite baby age.  Hope you are enjoying those beautiful LOs.

linday121

People truly do not understand what it is like to have twins.  There is NOTHING like having multiples!!!