How do you manage? (long vent)

tlc11934

I'm on maternity leave for another 7 weeks.  DD1 currently goes to daycare 3 days a week and stays home with DD2 and I the other two days.  I thoroughly enjoy my 3 days with DD2 - we "talk", play, and I get a lot of cleaning done while she's sleeping.  She's such a good baby and I'm able to rest when I need to.

DD1, on the other hand, is a very spirited kid who needs constant attention.  We've been living with my parents since she was born (2 years) so she's used to getting picked up by someone whenever she asks.  My mom really spoils her to no end.

When I'm alone with the girls on Weds and Fri, I find myself to be completely frustrated and exhausted.  DH, the girls and I are all sharing one big bedroom at my mom's.  DD1 co-sleeps with us still so I can't even get up to make a bottle for DD2 without running back quickly and worrying.  The mornings are really hectic when DD2 wakes up to eat and DD1 wakes up at the same time and has to use the bathroom.  Every time I start to feed DD2, DD1 has to go to the bathroom.  One or both girls are always screaming. 

Nap time is especially difficult right now.  DD1 only naps from 1-3pm and DD2 is too young to be on a schedule yet and seems to always be awake during this time.  I'm sick today, and feel like I'm going to faint from all the running around I'm doing.  Can't wait for DH to come home so I can go to the doctor!

Ok, rant over.  How do you manage having 2U2 home alone with you for long periods of time?  Especially for those of you doing potty training with one LO and taking care of a younger LO.  I know I'm not cut out to be a SAHM and couldn't do this all the time.  TIA.

 

mlf625

Those first couple months are rough, being sick with little kids is hell, and I'd imagine living with your parents can be challenging.  So cut yourself some slack, you're managing just fine.  As long as both kids are alive and fed at the end of the day, you did a great job.

Do you have to potty train DD1 right now?  She's still very young and I don't really think you need any more of a challenge than you've already got with a 1 month old and a 23 month old.  If I were you I'd hold off on the training.  We're just now starting with DS - there's no way I'd have attempted it with a newborn.

tlc11934

Thanks for the reassurance.  I know it will get better.  Just sick and venting. 

As for the PT, DD1 has been out of diapers since before DD2 came along.  She is doing fantastic even wakes up dry from naps and overnight.  She goes to school, daycare, shopping, etc in her undies and we never use diapers anymore.  The challenge is putting DD2 down during breastfeeding/bottle to take DD1 to the bathroom and help her up on the toilet.  

jeffrae

No words of advice but your post just scared me! Dh goes back to work next week and in one more week dd1 will be going to daycare t-w-r and with me and dd2 m&f. I have already struggled trying to get both fed...changed...and me showered and ready without it taking four hours. Lucky for us we are not yet pt...but it is still daunting knowing I will be home with two little ones soon while still being sleep deprived. Can you share any tricks that help you?

Telyco

tlc11934:

Thanks for the reassurance.  I know it will get better.  Just sick and venting. 

As for the PT, DD1 has been out of diapers since before DD2 came along.  She is doing fantastic even wakes up dry from naps and overnight.  She goes to school, daycare, shopping, etc in her undies and we never use diapers anymore.  The challenge is putting DD2 down during breastfeeding/bottle to take DD1 to the bathroom and help her up on the toilet.  

Maybe just trying to plan ahead. Right before it's time to nurse #2 - say it's potty time and have #1 go to the bathroom. Or just put a little potty next to where you nurse.

tlc11934

jeffrae:

No words of advice but your post just scared me! Dh goes back to work next week and in one more week dd1 will be going to daycare t-w-r and with me and dd2 m&f. I have already struggled trying to get both fed...changed...and me showered and ready without it taking four hours. Lucky for us we are not yet pt...but it is still daunting knowing I will be home with two little ones soon while still being sleep deprived. Can you share any tricks that help you?

 

Though DD2 isn't on a schedule yet, she seems to consistently wake up between 6am-7am.  This is great because I'm able to feed and change her and put her back to sleep before DD1 wakes up.  Having some coffee during that time also helps immensely.

I also find that making nap time fun helps.  Rather than putting DD1 in her bed for a nap, I put her sleeping bag on a mat in her play area.  DD2 will nap in the swing and I'll nap in the chair so I'm in close proximity to tend to them.  

GL, you can do it!

vanessaNOV2

I'm in similar situation. MIL lives with us so we have both kids sleeping in our room. When ds#2 wakes up for his bottle, ds#1 always wakes up too wanting to be cuddled. Its soo frustrating. Ds#1 is 18months & ds#2 is 4 months. Ds#1 always wants something when I'm feeding his brother. I've begun to tell him he has to wait until I'm done, then we will do what he wants. Although we aren't potty training him he will randomly want to go sit on toilet, which is great but when I'm busy with ds#2 its not going to happen. So right now I'm trying to teach him what waiting means. Some days see worst then others, especially when your sick. But try to remember those good moments to get you through the tough times. I can't wait until they can both walk, my back is killing me from carrying ds#2 around.

roundtheworldgirl

I SAH with a 19.5-month-old and a 7-month-old.  And it's hard, definitely.  I have part-time help three mornings a week, which is an absolute lifesaver; otherwise, I would go insane. 

The first few months were the most difficult for me.  DD1 also takes one afternoon nap, and DD2 wasn't on anything resembling a schedule until a couple months ago.  Even now, if I let her nap when she wants, between the two of them, we'd be stuck at home all day.  That would really drive me nuts.  I try to get out every morning, at least for a walk with the stroller.  That helps.  And poor DD2 gets shorted her naps a lot.  I find myself keeping them out when I know she wants to sleep just so I can get her afternoon nap to overlap with DD1's for at least 45 minutes.  And then I laugh at silly past-me, who thought one baby was so hard ...

Echowysp

It becomes your new normal.  It takes a bit to get into a flow, but you will.  Dd does cry a little more than ds had to at this age because I have to tend to his needs.  He's very spirited too and I only work 2 mornings a week and have long days with dh gone until late in the evening.  Some days are better than others. 

 I'd say get out of the house as much as you can.  I make sure to do a morning errand and try to plan for things to keep us busy or I'll go crazy.  Ds dropped his nap, so I have to be on all the time.  I started quiet time with him, so that helps.

 

GL to you.  It will get easier.