Importance of the MN

PeridotEyes

Generally speaking, how much importance do you put on the middle name?

 I'm noticing the trend of masculine first names with super-feminine middle names for little girls. If your daughter will be called by a masculine name why balance it with an uber feminine mn? I know a Jane Carter who goes by Carter, but her parents wanted her to have a feminine first name "on paper". Most people assume Carter is her first name though.

Boys often get middle names after relatives.

Some kids get "filler" middle names because their parents just don't care that much and want something that sounds okay with the first name.

Some cultures don't use middle names.

Where do you stand?

LemonBlush

I like mn's to honor someone. Mine is after my grandma, and DD's mn is Lynn, which sounds like a filler but it's after my mom Lynda.

PeridotEyes

I put a lot of importance on a middle name. DD's middle name was picked by my DH .... Nick & Mariah style.... but with more class. Instead of Moroccan its Noelle since he proposed on Christmas & its his favorite holiday. Well, we liked the name but the meaning behind it pushed it over the edge.

 

We don't use it often but I wanted something meaningful that complemented her fn

zaramarie81

I love the use of middle names as it gives opportunities for:

1. Honoring relatives while still giving a child a fn that is uniquely theirs.

2. Additional opportunities to differentiate. I grew up in a city where several girls had my exact fn and ln. We have different mn's though.

3. Parents to add special meaning to their child's name on top of the fn - like perhaps picking a patron Saint for them.

4. Extra room to use names you like but will never have enough children to use up.

5. A child to be (hopefully) proud of their name. 

6. A second option if a child grows up to despise his fn.

Although I wouldn't throw out the "filler" mn's altogether (because it's the norm in our culture to give mn's, and sometimes it's best not to buck the norm lol), my goal for each of my future kids is for their names, both first and middle, to have some significance.

Edited: Grammar

capulet

I like middle names to be family names.  My mn before I got married was Anne, which sounds like a filler name but was after my aunt and had been used for many generations on my grandmother's side.  DH and all his brothers have variations of John/Jon as their middle name, since Jon is their dad's middle name.  DD's middle name is after DH's grandmother.  This next one's middle name I think will either be after my grandmother (if a girl) or my dad's first or last name (if a boy).

I don't like suggesting middle names for people on here because I really just want to say "Why don't you think of a family name?"  I mean, I'd rather have my kid's middle name be after my beloved aunt Gertrude (apologies to those who like the name Gertrude) than something that is pretty but not meaningful, so I don't see the point in suggesting random names to people just because they "go" with their chosen fn.  But that's just me.

Keri Marie

If your name is John Smith then the middle name is VERY important. If your kids' name is uncommon it's not that important. I think it's a great place for a family name. Also it's a great place for any unique/uncommon names that you weren't brave enough to use as first names.

Ceridwen21

My sister and I were given middle names to honour my dad's Welsh culture, and I will do the same for my child.  He/she will get DH's Italian last name, and a Welsh middle name, so it's a nice balance I think

Ceridwen21

capulet:

I don't like suggesting middle names for people on here because I really just want to say "Why don't you think of a family name?"  I mean, I'd rather have my kid's middle name be after my beloved aunt Gertrude (apologies to those who like the name Gertrude) than something that is pretty but not meaningful, so I don't see the point in suggesting random names to people just because they "go" with their chosen fn.  But that's just me.

ITA.  I rarely open MN posts on this board for that reason.

LaComtesse

A middle name is what you make of it--I don't think it's important to do it one way over the other. I think a middle name can be either a great way to honor someone you love (but maybe you don't love their name all that much) or a fun chance to just go nuts. Honestly, if someone told me they wanted to give their kid a completely ridiculous middle name, I wouldn't care. Very few people make their middle names known, so who cares if your kid's name is Violet Spiderman Jones?

We're naming our son William Ross: Ross is for my husband's favorite uncle. If we have another boy, his middle name will be someone significant to me (either my brother or my uncle). For girls MNs, we just picked names that went with the first names we liked.

mlf625

I'm in the 'middle names for honor' camp.  My parents just gave me one they liked that flowed with my name (Lane) and my siblings both had MNs after someone - I always wanted a MN with meaning, too.  DS has DH and FIL's MN, and DD's MN is my mom's first name.

Liz4444

capulet:

I like middle names to be family names.  My mn before I got married was Anne, which sounds like a filler name but was after my aunt and had been used for many generations on my grandmother's side.  DH and all his brothers have variations of John/Jon as their middle name, since Jon is their dad's middle name.  DD's middle name is after DH's grandmother.  This next one's middle name I think will either be after my grandmother (if a girl) or my dad's first or last name (if a boy).

I don't like suggesting middle names for people on here because I really just want to say "Why don't you think of a family name?"  I mean, I'd rather have my kid's middle name be after my beloved aunt Gertrude (apologies to those who like the name Gertrude) than something that is pretty but not meaningful, so I don't see the point in suggesting random names to people just because they "go" with their chosen fn.  But that's just me.

I don't disagree with you, but what if you are naming your child after someone of the opposite gender?  We are having a tough time coming up with middle names if it's a boy because it would be after one of DH's grandmothers, so we are just using the first initials... it would be silly for him to have the middle name Rivka!

ToBeMrsT

I like middle names that honor someone.  DS's middle starts with the same letter as Dh's middle name.  DD's middle name is a shortened version of my name.

I don't really care how middle names and first names sound together since I'm never going to say them together. 

Ceridwen21

ToBeMrsT:

I like middle names that honor someone.  DS's middle starts with the same letter as Dh's middle name.  DD's middle name is a shortened version of my name.

I don't really care how middle names and first names sound together since I'm never going to say them together. 

What about when you're really mad?

LaComtesse

Ceridwen21:

ToBeMrsT:

I like middle names that honor someone.  DS's middle starts with the same letter as Dh's middle name.  DD's middle name is a shortened version of my name.

I don't really care how middle names and first names sound together since I'm never going to say them together. 

What about when you're really mad?

That's true! It's funny because my brother goes by his middle name (Scott), so there was always more weight when my mom shouted his full name. It's like "Oh no! She called him Brian!"

ddelo23

Our kid's middle names honor someone in our families.  My son's middle is Marcell after MH's uncle who passed away.  My daughter's is Judith after my mom.  If we have another boy, his middle will be either my dad's first or middle, or MH's dad's first or middle.  If I were just doing it as a filler, I just wouldn't give them one.

COMomma81

For us, the middle name is a great way to honor family. My DS's middle name is a family name on DH's side, for 6 generations. DD, will have the same middle name as my sister

anna7602

In my culture, mns are used a lot, so they are a big deal. But since I live in the US where most people you know on a casual basis don't know your mn, I chose a mn for DD that was ruled out of fn status because it's a little too strange. Nonetheless, I often call her by both names, she refers to herself by both names and I have no problem at all with her using this name as she grows up if she wants to. In fact, I would love it if she did. I just didn't want her to have to spell/pronounce/clarify her first name for people her whole life. (The name is Caridad, by the way, and is hugely significant to me.)

Our chosen boy mn is also hugely significant to me and DH and I am currently trying to convince DH to use two middle names if we ever have a boy. We have a running list of names we are considering for a girl. In all likelihood, we would use one of the names we're considering as a fn as a mn if it doesn't make the fn cut for reasons of spelling/pronunciation/etc.

I don't believe in "filler" mns. I don't really get using a name based purely on the way it sounds, either, for first or middle name, but that's a whole different discussion.

nikintheheart

i think it's nice to honor family in a middle name, however, in my situation i had to improvise. i wanted to honor my father (who passed away last year) but 1. we are having a girl. & 2. my father's name was admiral. i had to put some though into this. so instead, we are giving her a middle name that reflects my dad through something he loved - jude, as in 'hey, jude', as in the beatles. while it won't seem significant to others, it will always mean something to me.

Cinamom

I don't have a middle name, because we don't use middle names in my culture, and everyone I know who has a middle name hates their middle name. I don't want to give LO a middle name, but DH does. My argument is always you don't ever call people by their full name (first and middle) so why should I bother using a middle name.

capulet

Liz4444:

I don't disagree with you, but what if you are naming your child after someone of the opposite gender?  We are having a tough time coming up with middle names if it's a boy because it would be after one of DH's grandmothers, so we are just using the first initials... it would be silly for him to have the middle name Rivka!

If I were having a boy but still wanted to give him a middle name to honor my grandmother, I'd probably use her maiden name.

quickstepstar

All of my kids will have MN after important people in our lives.

ChavayJakov

Two of my kids - a girl and a boy (now adults) - have middle names taken from our ancestors.  First names were chosen to accompany those names.  (I'm also one that identifies/uses meanings to full name, there's a thread on that already somewhere.)  

Maybe the fem/masc name combo is so that the daughter can choose which she'd more identify with?  I have a masculine first name though it is technically a feminized version of a male ancestor's name.  My middle name is very girly, IMO, and was given to me to honor a deceased sister of my mother.  If I hadn't hated it growing up I likely would have switched to it as I would constantly hear that my first name was a "boy's name."  

 

fancynewbeesly

Our girl's middle name is partly filler/partly significant. 

My DH didn't care either way about her middle name (or even having one!) but I wanted one. I am a teacher and have loved the name Madison, except for it's popularity--I knew that I would never use it for a first name. So, it works as a middle name perfectly--and goes with our last name as well. My DH and I are both close to our families--and my dad has always loved the name Madison as well. On the day we found out she was a girl, my dad mentioned how much he loved the name. Since DH was ambivalent about the middle name, and it flowed really nicely with the first and last name, and I always loved it, and my dad that I am really close to love it; we chose Madison as the middle name.

If our next child is a boy, we will most likely go with the name Liam Henry. Again we loved how the name flowed, but more importantly (which we didn't realize at the time when we picked the name) my maiden name begins with the letter "L", my mom and his mom's maiden name begins with the letter "H"---so it is similar to honoring all the grandparents with the name  

718gemini

Ceridwen21:

ToBeMrsT:

I like middle names that honor someone.  DS's middle starts with the same letter as Dh's middle name.  DD's middle name is a shortened version of my name.

I don't really care how middle names and first names sound together since I'm never going to say them together. 

What about when you're really mad?

Isn't that the real reason to give a middle name- so your kids will know when you're really serious?  LOL!

I don't have any strong feelings either way.  I'll be giving my kids middle names even if they have no deep significance, because that's what I'm used to seeing- it looks weird to me when someone doesn't have a middle name, it's like something is missing.  Nothing's set in stone, but if we have a boy we'll probably use my grandpa's name- because my husband isn't sold on using it as a first name.  If we have a girl, we might use an Irish name, complete with the traditional spelling.  I would love to use it as a first name but I don't want her to have to deal with people's mispronunciations and misspellings her entire life. 

ToBeMrsT

Ceridwen21:

ToBeMrsT:

I like middle names that honor someone.  DS's middle starts with the same letter as Dh's middle name.  DD's middle name is a shortened version of my name.

I don't really care how middle names and first names sound together since I'm never going to say them together. 

What about when you're really mad?

Even when I'm really mad at DS I never say his middle name... Maybe I'm the only one. 

debrian08

My DH and I disagree on this one.. I want the mn, if it's a boy, to be my step-dad's name (Robert). He was definitely my father-figure and helped raise me, even after he and my mom divorced when I was little. 

My DH wants our kids to have their "own" name, even mn. We shelved the argument then, since we weren't pregnant at the time, but I think it's going to come up again once we start discussing names. 

ChefSarah22

I like it when a middle name has significance (honoring a family member/important person in your life), but IMO it also needs to flow.  Pretty, yes, but it needs presence.  ITA that a full name needs to pass the "yelling test".  I hope that as our kids get older, if they get their full name, they KNOW they are in trouble.  

laurynfaerie

My middle names are filler names, but they also have family connections.

Our LO's middle name has an important connection for my dad, and was going to be my name if I was a boy.