WWYD? (long)

yaeger16

I do and don't feel bad asking this. My MIL's friend's daughter had a baby in feb, and we all thought she was going to shape up and be a good mother (she used to drink a ton and do drugs). Well, her and her bf are short of money and on WIC and they keep trying to make the cans of formula last by limiting how much Jayden eats and how often (they feed him 5 oz every 3-4 hours) and will feed him no sooner or more than that under any cirumstances. They asked me to babysit for awhile last week and when they brought him over he was dirty, smelled like poop, spit up and cig smoke. So I made up the excuse that he spit up all over and washed his clothes and gave him a bath. The weirdest thing happened during his bath, his right arm turned blue! And about 5 seconds after I took him out it went back to normal. I brought it up to her and she said it happened everytime she gave him a bath like it was no big deal and when I asked if she told the dr she said no because it doesn't seem to bother him. My MIL told me today that for the last 5 days he's been violently throwing up every single day after every feeding and she's pretty sure it's everything he ate. But she isn't taking him to the dr because he doesn't seem fazed by it. And I put him on his belly to do tummy time when E was on his belly and in the 10-15 min Jayden was down he didn't pick up his head more than an inch off the floor. And the back of his head is flat. I feel so bad for this baby because when I watched him i have him 6 oz, then 2 hours later he was acting hungry again and he ate another 3 oz. I don't know if I should say something to her, or her mother, or someone else..but I'm honestly worried for this baby.

Sorry it's so long and bless your soul if you read the whole thing. I just needed to get that out so bad.

desertlady86

That is really weird!!! I think I would say something to them!

yaeger16

I don't know how to say it all without it coming off like she doesn't take care of him though.

lulu3061

An anonymous call to Child Protective Services is probably the best thing you could do for that poor baby. Seriously.

Blondangel

Honestly, I'd call CPS. Someone has to since the little guy can't speak up for himself.

yaeger16

lulu3061:

An anonymous call to Child Protective Services is probably the best thing you could do for that poor baby. Seriously.

Thank you for making me feel like I'm not a really sh!tty person for wanting to do this.. I didn't know if I was being over the top or not.

enjoylife

lulu3061:

An anonymous call to Child Protective Services is probably the best thing you could do for that poor baby. Seriously.

Ditto this.

scrh2010

yaeger16:

I don't know how to say it all without it coming off like she doesn't take care of him though.

Umm... she DOESN'T take care of him... I would be on the phone with CPS and/or the cops right away! That poor baby needs to be loved and cared for.

Cymarkus

lulu3061:

An anonymous call to Child Protective Services is probably the best thing you could do for that poor baby. Seriously.

I just don't get how she won't take him to the doctor? the arm turning blue and vomiting could be something that needs attention. Poor baby.

lulu3061

You are the opposite of a sh!tty person. Trust your instincts and make a call. You'll regret it if you don't

yaeger16

scrh2010:

yaeger16:

I don't know how to say it all without it coming off like she doesn't take care of him though.

Umm... she DOESN'T take care of him... I would be on the phone with CPS and/or the cops right away! That poor baby needs to be loved and cared for.

I'm aware of that, but how do you tell someone they're a sh!tty mother? And I have the number for my counties CPS saved in my phone and have for a few days now but haven't had the courage to call.

yaeger16

Cymarkus:

lulu3061:

An anonymous call to Child Protective Services is probably the best thing you could do for that poor baby. Seriously.

I just don't get how she won't take him to the doctor? the arm turning blue and vomiting could be something that needs attention. Poor baby.

That's what me and my MIL were talking about. We mentioned at least checking if he's dehydrated and she immediately said he's not. But if he can't keep anything down he probably is..on top of everything else.

tabby0521

I would definitely call CPS. No one ever has to know you did it. I agree that you will totally regret it if you don't. That poor baby needs help ASAP. The vomiting, turning blue and not lifting his head all sound so scary. And limiting how much he eats is horrible! Please call. I know it's hard, but that baby needs someone to speak for him.

yaeger16

Thank you ladies. I am honestly going to call tomorrow when I wake up. I feel 110% better about my decision after reading that you would do the same thing and being reassured.

Cheekers2010

yaeger16:

Thank you ladies. I am honestly going to call tomorrow when I wake up. I feel 110% better about my decision after reading that you would do the same thing and being reassured.

I am crying reading your post.  That poor poor little baby.  Please don't delay in calling CPS.  He needs you to be a hero.  I know it's hard.  Vomiting that much can lead to dehydration and death very quickly.  I'm not trying to be melodramatic at all and the blue arm thing may mean that he has some sort of circulation issue.  These could be life or death issues.  I'm sick to my stomach.  You can't call soon enough.

Cheekers2010

Oh, and the reason he doesn't seem to "be fazed" by the vomiting etc is probably because he's too weak.  Babies who are exhausted often seem to be just calm.  This is really serious!

edited to add that I don't know if I'm going to be able to sleep thinking about this.  

jpf29

Blondangel:

Honestly, I'd call CPS. Someone has to since the little guy can't speak up for himself.

I would do the same thing

melissa4252008

I am seriously ill reading this. I agree with everyone else. I hope you call today. Best of luck calling, I'm sure it will still be really difficult even if you are confident in your decision. That poor baby.

Mommysaurus123

I would call too. The not lifting the head thing doesn't scare me too much becuase Landon didn't really pick his up far until he was a little over 3 months... which this poor baby doesn't seem to be yet (depending when he was born in Feb.)

But the turning blue and the vomiting are definitely not good. And the poor thing smells like cig smoke? Ugh. That is awful!!! They'll never have to know that you're the one who called, but you could save a baby (or make his life more healthy) if you do call.

 Please keep us updated!

kat81

I would say something to them or call the social worker.

rfkenney

Please call CPS! If something happens to the little guy and you didn't call, you will feel so bad-- not trying to guilt you into it, but you know what I mean. At least if you call you will have done the right thing for this poor little baby. It makes me hurt inside to think of what he is going through!

mrslucid

lulu3061:

An anonymous call to Child Protective Services is probably the best thing you could do for that poor baby. Seriously.

I agree with lulu. Something needs to be done to get that poor baby out of that home.

missliz01

I would have to agree with the others that a call to CPS is the right thing to do. I feel so bad for that little guy. Under no circumstances should it ever be okay to purposely limit how much an infant is eating! Maybe if they gave up their damn cigarettes they could afford some formula. Sorry to sound so harsh but that type of irresponsibility just infuriates me. Please don't feel bad if you make the call. You're looking out for an innocent human. That's the farthest thing from bad I can think of. Hope it all works out.

MamaPajama2010

Please call CPS! I am a social worker, and these are all red flags!! This is the rule of thumb I try to tell people when they aren't sure if they should call: Would you be able to live with yourself if the worst case scenario happened to this baby as a result of one of the things you knew about (if you didn't say anything)? What I mean by this is, could it seriously harm or kill the baby if the parent is lick the handle of the grocery cart or something? No, probably not. I would totally side-eye this, but a call to CPS doesn't need to be made. Worst case scenario is probably the kid gets a cold from the germs... kwim? Could it seriously harm or kill the baby if it is turning blue, being starved, violently throwing up, etc and the paent was neglecting them by not taking them to a doctor? Yes! Would you be able to live with yourself if the worst case scenario happened and you didn't say anything?? Please protect this baby.

Moonbeam828

Kellog+1:

yaeger16:

Thank you ladies. I am honestly going to call tomorrow when I wake up. I feel 110% better about my decision after reading that you would do the same thing and being reassured.

I am crying reading your post.  That poor poor little baby.  Please don't delay in calling CPS.  He needs you to be a hero.  I know it's hard.  Vomiting that much can lead to dehydration and death very quickly.  I'm not trying to be melodramatic at all and the blue arm thing may mean that he has some sort of circulation issue.  These could be life or death issues.  I'm sick to my stomach.  You can't call soon enough.

This, 1000x this.  Call now.  Call every day until something happens.  And please keep us updated, because I don't think I'm going to be able to get this poor little baby out of my mind.  Like Kellog said, you will be his hero.

BabyS2008

Oh my Gosh, you definitely need to say something or call CPS. That baby is in desperate need of help. How sad =(

kj07

Trust your gut on this one.  Normally I say talk to the parents first, but it sounds like they've already blown off people's concerns so at this point you need to talk to someone with authority like CPS.

Good luck and please keep us updated if you can.

JoJoMama730

enjoylife:

lulu3061:

An anonymous call to Child Protective Services is probably the best thing you could do for that poor baby. Seriously.

Ditto this.

Yeah, I feel the same way.  Your post is making me all emotional.  I'm not sure there's anything you can do to make sure this baby gets all the care (and love) he needs, but a call to the authorities is a step in the right direction.  My heart is hurting for the child. . . . .

TBLilyRose

Please keep us posted! You're doing the right thing.

our1stbaby2010

Oh this post made me so sad. Did you call CPS?     I'm praying that the little guy gets help!

4boysohMy

I would be more concerned about the well being of the baby than the feelings of the parents. God forbid something horrible happen and you had never opened your mouth. You never know what goes on when you aren't around, but there are several red flags, and I would be up front with either MIL or babys mom. I would say something like "I don't want to offend you, but I figure that babys health is more important than your feelings. XY&Z are worrying me, I hope you are able to look past your feelings and see that I am honestly concerned for your baby, and I know sometimes new moms or moms that don't see other babies often don't notice strange things because there is nothing to compare it to." If she still blows it off, call CPS!!!!!