Husband going away while I'm 36 weeks pregnant

rachellaura86 · May 2011

First of all, I'd like to say my husband is wonderful and has been so awesome throughout my pregnancy. Several months ago, one of his best friend's bachelor parties was planned for June 4th weekend. I am due July 2nd. He mentioned the date of the party to me, and asked how I felt about him going. I said it was totally fine for him to go- and at the time, I was really okay with it.

As a side note, I went away on little weekend trips for maybe 8 of my close friend's bachelorette parties in the past couple of summers. This is his first bachelor party "trip" and I know he is excited, especially because it's one of his best friends. They are going to be about 3 hours away.

Anyways, now that my due date is getting close, I'm starting to regret the fact that I said I was okay with him going. I'm actually really regretting it. I want him here. But I feel badly asking him to stay back now. What would you do? Should I just have him go, or should I ask him to stay?

thatgirl84 · May 2011

I would let him go. If my FI were to ask to go out of town with friends this weekend, I'd say okay. It's not going to be very easy once baby is here. I haven't shown any signs of PTL, so I feel confident. I'm also a FTM, so I'm more likely to go past my due date than early.

You probably are more emotional now that you are in your third trimester, and need his support, but I would tough it out. He's not going to get a second chance to go to his best friends' bachelor party (at least hopefully not).

megan_gardner_10 · May 2011

Oh yikes...That's a tough situation! That's definitely hard to know what to do. How many days is he going for? Do you think he'd be seriously disappointed?

caruso_60 · May 2011

I would let him go. He's only going to be 3 hours away.

rachellaura86 · May 2011

Ugh I know! My pregnancy has been pretty normal (knock on wood) but I keep envisioning myself going into labor early and I'm getting freaked out.

The trip is late Friday to early Sunday. I think he would be disappointed if he didnt go. I know he was kinda jealous I went on like 8 million girl's trips and has been looking forward to a guy's trip.

I really dont want to hold him back. He knows I am getting a bit freaked out about the birth, so I almost wish he would intuitively say he'll forget it and stay home. I dont think thats going to happen though!!

Epiphany27 · May 2011

caruso_60:
I would let him go.? He's only going to be 3 hours away.

This. I'd be worried if it was farther away but this seems fine.

megan_gardner_10 · May 2011

Yeah it sounds like you're probably just going to have to tough it out for his sake...Maybe it would help you feel better about it if you had somebody around while he's gone to keep your mind off of it and possibly make time go by faster. Maybe you're close with your mom? Or a sister? Or a good girlfriend that can come over for the night or who you can have a girl's day with? It might help ease some of the worries you're having about anything unusual happening while he's away if you're not alone the whole time.

angelproberts · May 2011

I get that you're getting nervous but I think it's a little selfish to want to change your mind now especially since he will only be three hours away. You will be fine.....and if by some chance you do go into pre-term labor you will most likely be in labor for hours and he will make it before the birth. Let him go and have fun you'll need him more once the baby is here anyway.

MommaA117 · May 2011

I understand not wanting him to go but since you already told him OK you may just have to let him. Three hours away is not too bad if he needed to rush back should you go into labor...

ccorso · May 2011

I'd let him go...it is 3 hours away. If you go into labor, he should have plenty of time to get there - unless you are the rarity that deliveries in an hour.

kacelle · May 2011

If you don't have any reason to believe you'd deliver early, I'd let him go. DH left town for several days when I was 35 weeks pregnant, and it was honestly a great chance to get things done and to rest (although I didn't like the idea of him being a couple of states away). Three hours away really isn't too far, even if you did need him to come back!

tjmtjm · May 2011

angelproberts:
I get that you're getting nervous but I think it's a little selfish to want to change your mind now especially since he will only be three hours away. You will be fine.....and if by some chance you do go into pre-term labor you will most likely be in labor for hours and he will make it before the birth. Let him go and have fun you'll need him more once the baby is here anyway.

Agree to all this.

kriskros · May 2011

my husband will be out of town for three days while im 38 weeks pregnant

its his sisters graduation though so I want him to go.. but im nervous about going into labor! ill be putting myself on br while hes away just to be safe.

JaqiDec04 · May 2011

I would let him go. My DH was out of town, and out of cell service for a weekend at 35 weeks. And while it made me slightly nervous,after all his hard work these last 8 months and all his help, I felt like he deserved one last weekend away.

If you have family near by, I think its just a few days, and he's only a few hours away.

justme04 · May 2011

I'd be ok with my DH going out of town this weekend. In fact last weekend was one of his friend's birthdays and we were both invited (cuz I was kinda inherited as one of her friends too and she is a really great person) but I didnt feel up to traveling myself. I kept telling DH to just go and have fun but he also didnt want to leave me home alone with DS and no car...just in case something happend. Even though he'd only be 2 hours away.

kaitylin · May 2011

It's only 3 hours away so I'd say that's fine. You will probably want to labor at home for a few hours before heading into the hospital anyway unless you are an extremely rare case that progresses quickly. Regardless, 3 hours is most likely enough time for him to get back if need be. The only thing I would want if my DH were to go away to something like that would be to make sure he had his cell phone on so I could reach him if I needed too. Also, my other concern would be if he was drinking and so wouldn't be able to drive back if I did call. I have been fine with DH going out and having drinks with the guys the whole pregnancy but I'm not comfortable with it during these last few weeks because I want him to be able to drive me if he needs too. I'm guessing there will be a lot of drinking since its a bachelor party but would your DH be up for maybe being the sober driver or sticking to one beer or something so he can drive home if he has too?

If you guys can figure that out then I'd say let him go! You most likely will not go into labor and he is not that far away. DH and I drove almost 3 hours away this past weekend when I was 35.5 weeks because I felt comfortable that we could get back if I started having and signs of PTL.

heysupnatalie · May 2011

I would still want him to go. If I was uncomfortable with being alone, I would probably go stay with my parents but I wouldn't worry about it. At 36 weeks I was still working 40hrs a week and I actually felt better than I did the entire pregnancy. Plus 3 hours really isn't THAT far away if you think about it. In the off chance that you went into labor then he would most likely have time to get to the hospital since it usually takes much longer than that. Smile

Relax, it will all be okay!

Jessynlove · May 2011

is the trip just saturday or all weekend? ... I think one night away is ok. but more than that , I would ask dh to come home early. I would also call him to come home...with any sign of labor coming . so to give him plenty of time to get home.

merifrances · May 2011

My DH is gone for the week and I'm 37 weeks. If he's only 3 hours away it is not a big deal in my opinion.

Stellar1 · May 2011

36 weeks he should be fine to go away. My hubby is going to a bach party this weekend and then has to go out of town for work in a few weeks from now. You should be fine.

katekirschner · May 2011

Let him go, the chances of you having a 36 weeker are pretty slim, especially if you have had an uncomplicated pregnancy. And he's only 3 hrs away, meaning if he gets the all to come home, he can get there in 3 hrs. Maybe just have him do things you'd want done by that weekend, the weekend before so you feel "ready".

lgschwartz · May 2011

I totally understand being nervous. I am currently 37 weeks pregnant and my husband is in California to be the best man in a wedding, I went early with my son so I am hoping I hold off until at least the wedding is over. Since your husband is only going 3 hours away I think you should be fine. If something were to happen my husband would have to try and catch a flight to get back to St. Louis.

vstevens · May 2011

Adding to the chorus...let him go and suck it up. I agree it sucks, but it's basically just 2 nights and 1 full day, your husband will really enjoy himself, and you're going to REALLY not want him to go anywhere after baby is born.

Plus 3 hours is really not that far...and if he was drinking as PP notes, he could either find a friend to drive him back or in the worst case get a taxi/take a bus/train. Anything can be dealt with if it needs to be.

LexGator · May 2011

My husband is going to his sister's wedding next weekend when I'll be 36 weeks. He'll only be gone 3 days, and he's a 2-hour plane ride away. It makes me a bit nervous, but his sister's wedding is something he obviously should attend unless I'm pushing the baby out. I asked my OB how nervous I should be about being alone (family is all 800+ miles away), and she said not to be.

samjpro · May 2011

I let my husband go on a fishing trip when I was 36 weeks pregnant - he was over 3 hours away. I just took it easy that weekend. I figured he was going to miss out on a lot of fishing trips this summer so he might as well get one last one in and I'm glad I let him go b/c they did really good in the tournament and I would have felt bad if he hadn't gotten to participate.

CagleBaby · May 2011

Let him go. He is only 3 hrs away. Just take it easy. If you want have a friend or family member come stay with you if it will make you feel better.

My husband has to take two trips with his work. One for the week I am 35 weeks and one for the whole week when I am 37 weeks. For the second trip I think I will ask my MIL to come stay with me since I delievered #2 at 37w 6d.

jnbmama · May 2011

My husband is 3 states away from me on business right now and I'm 36 weeks too. Unless you're really concerned about going into labor early I'd say have him go.

11kacey · May 2011

My only concern is the drinking. Regardless of how far away he is, he needs to be able to get home safely if needs be. He can't do that if he has been drinking for hours and you call to tell him you are in labor.

google123 · May 2011

angelproberts:
I get that you're getting nervous but I think it's a little selfish to want to change your mind now especially since he will only be three hours away. You will be fine.....and if by some chance you do go into pre-term labor you will most likely be in labor for hours and he will make it before the birth. Let him go and have fun you'll need him more once the baby is here anyway.

I totally agree. Let him go. I know you're pregnant and all...we all understand and are in the same position....but I think it's a bit selfish of you to take away this chance for him to enjoy with his best friends. It was planned out for a long time. You should sacrifice a little bit for him, and chances are...if the pregnancy is going smoothly that you won't go into PTL. I just find it odd, that you would rather him sit beside your bedside all weekend long, do nothing with you, than him go enjoy with his friends.

babynoodle07 · May 2011

I wouldn't worry about it. If you don't have any signs you will go into PTL you should be fine. My husband will be leaving on active duty millitary orders when I hit 30 weeks and will not be returning until August 6th (EDD August 7th). I won't be able to talk to him other than sending a Red Cross message in the event that I go into labor. I don't like it, but there are some things you just have to suck up and deal with. Big Smile

angb77 · May 2011

My husband is over in England right now for a bachelor party, and I am okay with it. He is only going to be gone for three days. I mean, you have to think, these guys are going to have a totally different lifestyle once the baby comes, and if the shoe was on the other foot, and I had the opportunity to go out with my friends for one last hurrah, I would totally do it right now! If I go into labor and he has to fly home at the drop of a hat, then so be it....and, yeah he might miss the birth, but that's his call and he knows that and the decision is on him. Also the chances are low that I will happen to go into labor early, and on one of those three specific days. I have also thought, if he misses the birth, yeah, it is horrible, but you know what, as long as I have a healthy baby then it is not the end of the world, and and I said, chances are that it WON'T happen while he is gone. So I say, let him go and have a good time...he'll be back before you know it.

pltsou · September 2014

I'd say let him go on his trip but get a close friend or a sister, your mom to come stay with you for the weekend. So that you don't feel so alone and if anything were to happen, there's someone there to help. He's only 3 hours away, it's not that far.