School-Aged Children

if you work...re: extracurricular activities

how do you handle after school activities?  as dd gets older (kindy now) I'm finding it harder and harder to keep up with her activities :-(  She normally goes to an afterschool program 3 days/week, I'm home 1 day/week and a family member gets her the other 1 day.  She has non-school activities on the 2 not-afterschool-program days.  But now her activities are switching days of the week and are getting harder and harder to manage.  I HATE for dd not to be able to participate but I feel like a giant mooch having her go with other moms all the time.  Ugh.

 Getting a nanny really isn't cost effective at this point (b/c I have another dd in daycare - and I want/need her to stay there)

can anyone commiserate?  I'm lucky that other moms often offer to drive dd but I feel bad having that be our main plan vs. just a "once in a while" thing, you know?

Re: if you work...re: extracurricular activities

  • I handle this by just not having my kids do bunches of activities.  

    But, if the activities are really important, I would either just offset the other parents' time by paying for 100% of the gas involved in running the kids around... OR... switch to different activities that fall on nights that work with your schedule.

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • Ditto the PP.  It's pretty rare that we're in more than one activity at a time.  We usually do activities seasonally.  Skating in the winter, swimming in the spring to get ready for winter, tee ball in the late spring/summer, etc.  We also do activities on Sat AM and I try to have both kids do the same activity at the same time if possible.  Right now, I feel like it's my job to give my kids a taste of what's out there.  Once they decide they like something and want to do it most of the time, we'll schedule that regularly. But, we will still probably do some things seasonally.

    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
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  • it's really just 2 activities - 1 that meets 1x/week (now on my day off) and 1 that meets every other week (on the day my mother or MIL has dd)  Next year I'd like to keep those same 2 activities (and the second actually switches to 1/month vs. 2/month now) but the days of week change to days I'm at work. 

    I don't think that's too many at all - just on the wrong days :-(

  • imageready2go:

    it's really just 2 activities - 1 that meets 1x/week (now on my day off) and 1 that meets every other week (on the day my mother or MIL has dd)  Next year I'd like to keep those same 2 activities (and the second actually switches to 1/month vs. 2/month now) but the days of week change to days I'm at work. 

    I don't think that's too many at all - just on the wrong days :-(

    That sounds reasonable. Most of the parents in my area are juggling work, family, and volunteer time. I don't mind driving other kids or watching a neighbor's child when the parent cannot. I completely understand when schedules are impossible. I doubt anyone thinks you are a mooch. They are probably happy to help.

    It's nice to be able to help others. If you find that a particular mom is always willing to drive your child, think about what you could do for her... it could be something as simple as dinner... or as big as taking her kids for the weekend and filling it with interesting activities (IMAX, Aquarium, Zoo, Museum, water slides, pony rides, or whatever is in your area that kids love to do). I like to host a couple of parties a year, especially Halloween. I provide everything. My daughter's friends are able to bring their whole family. It makes sense to me because I don't have time every day, but I can certainly set aside a couple of days and make them memorable.

     

    image
    Newlyweds since 2007
  • Sorry!  I wasn't implying that you were overscheduling!  I agree with Surfinbride that other moms probably probably feel less put out by driving your kid than you feel guilty about it.

    I'd just alleviate the guilt by helping the other mom out in some way.  I like the idea of a big outing or GTG for all the kids on a day when you can manage it. 

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • I agree with what the other moms have said.  I think that these other moms would let you know if it were a problem.  People won't help if they don't want to!!  There WILL be a time in your life when you will be the one "helping out" and I'm sure you will be happy to do it!  Chin upAutomobile
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