Ugh vent, but im probably wrong. GRR

JrsGurl1823

 ok so may 28th is my husbands birthday, but ALSO our anniversary, i had a feeling this was going to be a problem with me being pregnant.  He wants to go to the "dysfunctional family bbq" which is like a rock concert were theres moshing and drunk idiots all over the damn place, so its clear i can not go. we have been going back and forth because he wants to go bc its his birthday. I would normally be going with him esp this year because a few of my fav bands are going ) : I honestly dont think its fair he gets to go drink and have a great time without me just bc im pg ( i know sounds selfish) but its also our anniversary. I have a feeling this whole summer will be about him doing the usaual what he wants well i cant because im pg, i mean dont get me wrong i love being pregnant, and  am enjoying it very much. And i dont get mad when we got to his parents or a bbq and he has some drinks, but not to the point of getting drunk and stupid......am i way in the wrong here??

Pina

Honestly.... it's one day, let him go.  It's his birthday and you will have plenty of nights where you will want girl time and drinks and he will have stay home and babysit..... Just make sure he does something special for your anniversary.

camdenfaithful

Pina:

Honestly.... it's one day, let him go.  It's his birthday and you will have plenty of nights where you will want girl time and drinks and he will have stay home and babysit..... Just make sure he does something special for your anniversary.

Ditto this.  I get feeling hurt and a little disappointed, but it's one day.  Just let him go and have fun.

TheFannins729

i'd actually probably still go.  we still went to outdoor concerts/festivals when I was pregnant.  I was just hyper-aware of the people around to make sure I didn't get trampled. 

elynds

Pina:

Honestly.... it's one day, let him go.  It's his birthday and you will have plenty of nights where you will want girl time and drinks and he will have stay home and babysit..... Just make sure he does something special for your anniversary.

Ditto - just compromise and let him go, but make sure you set aside time to plan for a special anniversary celebration that YOU can enjoy too.

sandrarn11

TheFannins729:

i'd actually probably still go.  we still went to outdoor concerts/festivals when I was pregnant.  I was just hyper-aware of the people around to make sure I didn't get trampled. 

This or let him go.  Either way he should make it up to you with something nice.

jaime0317

I say let him go. It's one night, and his birthday. And while he is gone enjoy the house to yourself. And I say treat yourself to a massage for your Anniversary. You guys can go to dinner the next night.

picksthemusic

TBH, I'd just let him go. You can celebrate your anniversary another day. Just let your H know that when you do celebrate your anniversary, he better make it darn special since you couldn't go with him to something you would enjoy.

But seriously, let it go.

JrsGurl1823

sandrarn11:

TheFannins729:

i'd actually probably still go.  we still went to outdoor concerts/festivals when I was pregnant.  I was just hyper-aware of the people around to make sure I didn't get trampled. 

This or let him go.  Either way he should make it up to you with something nice.

 

yea, i know i should the only thing that pisses me off is hes always complaining our anniversary  is the same day, i doubt he will even want to do something for it : (  

windsongs

JrsGurl1823:

sandrarn11:

TheFannins729:

i'd actually probably still go.  we still went to outdoor concerts/festivals when I was pregnant.  I was just hyper-aware of the people around to make sure I didn't get trampled. 

This or let him go.  Either way he should make it up to you with something nice.

 

yea, i know i should the only thing that pisses me off is hes always complaining our anniversary  is the same day, i doubt he will even want to do something for it : (  

 

That sucks, didn't he understand that when you got married on his birthday. I may be a bit crazy but I have a strict rule of no "mixing" holidays. I find that it always leads to let downs! How about celebrating your anniversary a day or two before the concert so that seems like more of a priority. I wouldn't ask him if he wants to do something for it- I would just say- I'm cool with you going on your birthday but let's celebrate on ________. I will clear my schedule and let me know what you have planned!

 

sandrarn11

Complaining? .... pretty sure he was there and involved in making the decision for what day to get married.  Complaining for something like that is selfish and rude.  Sorry.... maybe just try to express to him that your anniversary is an occasion where you really think the two of you should do something special together.  Hopefully he'll get it if you are being understanding when it comes to him going to the concert/party thing.

Kuraks10

I don't think you're wrong.

My DH and I had a honeymoon and we hung out at bars the entire time and he drank while I sipped on fruit punch (Im not complaining, I had a great time!) but he also compromised on not getting drunk and stupid so we both ended up having a great time.

Maybe you can go to the concert with him if he agrees to keep his drinking in check?? OR, just for this time, (due to your pregnancy) he can find something else he'd like to do that would involve you, him, and LO...

Hmm, that's just my take on it though. My dh would never go out and do something like that so I'm probably used to not having to deal with this type of situation sry. But I hope you two can find a way to compromise so it'll be a good time for everyone? 

solsburyhill

I'd compromise -

Celebrate your anniversary on Friday the 27th and let him have his fun on his birthday. 

Are you sure you can't go with??

And why did you get married on his birthday if it was going to be such a problem for him??

 

As for being upset and jealous that he drinks - that's just the reality of the situation and I don't think it's fair to expect or want him to give it up just because you temporarily can't drink.  Our compromise on this is that if I'm the DD, he can drink all he wants but I'll probably want to go home by midnight rather than staying out till 2am.  I still like socializing and as long as I'm out I might as well be his safe ride home!

I had a girlfriend who was miserable while pregnant.  She was SO bitterly angry that everyone else got to drink and she couldn't.  You know what happened during each of her pregnancies?  She stayed home alone and pouted for 9 long months and alienated her friends and family.  And then she was stuck home with a new baby still bitter and angry.  That's not a good way to go through life.

I've been going to baseball games, out for dinners, hung out at the bar with friends, am going to concerts this summer.  Life isn't over just because your pregnant!

IrishGal002

I think you two need to talk about the whole birthday/Anniversary shared date. This isnt a problem I see going away. I would set some boundaries & let him know that you'll be celebrating your anniversary the weekend prior forever (or even really mix it up and celebrate your half year anniversary or something). If it were me I would go to the concert for some of it - and take off before the rowdiness gets too bad & make sure DH had a DD to get him home, but make sure that it is for HIS birthday, not YOUR anniversary. Good luck coming to a compromise!

SamJustice

Just go with...? If it's indoors, then at least you don't have to worry about smoking anymore with the nation wide smoking ban. You don't HAVE to go moshing or drinking at a concert. It's really not that big of a deal IMO. Plus, since you're pregnant, automatic designated driver.

JrsGurl1823

 Sorry ladies it took so long, i wasnt home : X But thanks all for your thoughts ( :

solsburyhill:

.

I've been going to baseball games, out for dinners, hung out at the bar with friends, am going to concerts this summer.  Life isn't over just because your pregnant!

 

Yea like i said i dont have a problem with him have a drink or two at bbqs and such, and in no way do i stay home.  This particular event is just not really great for pg women.

JrsGurl1823

SamJustice:

Just go with...? If it's indoors, then at least you don't have to worry about smoking anymore with the nation wide smoking ban. You don't HAVE to go moshing or drinking at a concert. It's really not that big of a deal IMO. Plus, since you're pregnant, automatic designated driver.

its not indoors either ) :