I just don't know what to do

Sofka

We've now been sleep-training DS for 3 and a half weeks!!! I no longer nurse at night and we no longer go in at night at all. Someone told me her friend hired a sleep trainer who told them to let the baby CIO for one full sleep cycle, which is 90mins, and the next day baby would cry a little less, then a little less and by night 3-4 he'd sleep thru the night. We were kind of doing that anyway but it was good to hear about the 90min thing. Well, he does the 90min (tonight it was 70) every 2-3 days!!! And by the time he stops (he starts at 4am), it's almost time for me to wake up. 

At least when we were co-sleeping, I was going to bed early b/c I wouldn't leave him alone in our bed but now I can't seem to go to bed til 10pm. Plus, he usually wakes up sometime b/w 9-10pm and screams and puts himself back to sleep, so I'd wake up anyway. He does the same around 2am, again I wake up, and then he does the 4am thing every 2-3 days. I honestly don't know what else I can do. He's over 11mo old!!

Should I just sleep with him until he's old enough to want to sleep with girls his own age???

(I can't not have the monitor on, mentally I would not be able to go back to sleep if it was off).

 

mssaint

Sofka:

Should I just sleep with him until he's old enough to want to sleep with girls his own age???

 

I have no advice at all, but this made me laugh! This is probably no comfort, but at least you're keeping a sense of humor about the situation....

geojody

We do sleep training just about every 3 months or so when she goes thru these crazy phases/stages.  We have found that we need her to CIO to self comfort every now and then.  We used to go in there (I think it was Ferber that said go in there and rub her back every 5, 10, 15 min) we would just re-set the clock for her to start crying again.  UGH! So we have had luck with the CIO method.  I think the first night she cried for 90 min, 2nd night, 85, 3rd night 80.  I thought our neighbors were going to call child protective serivces on us.  We called the pedi and he was like "well if she's crying 5 minutes less every night, it's progress".  Okayyyy?!?!  After about a week, she learned to calm down.  We found that a lovely or blanket with a bear would help her self soothe.

Of course there were a couple of nights in the beginning where she would sometime cry so hard she would almost throw up.  Those night we threw the sleep training out the window.  I also think teething had something to do with all the reverting back to not being able to self sooth.

It is VERY hard, and it rips your heart out to hear them crying, but they do eventually "get it".   You and your hubbs needs to be strong and help each other out b/c there were times when I was crying b/c it hurt to hear her cry. 

tracy042206

I don't have any suggestions.  I mean the options are really to continue to co-sleep or keep it up with CIO.  It is a hard decision either way.  ((hug))  I can't imagine how tired you must be.

VAJuneBride07

I have no suggestions, but have you thought about a sleep coach?  I know there are some that will come to your house and observe for a few nights.  After 3 weeks, I'd be ready to try anything.  Hopefully you start getting some more sleep soon!

HikerBride07

I'd go back to co-sleeping and wait a few months, wait for signs that he might be ready, and try again.  It took DD a month or two to stop waking at night once we stopped night nursing.