- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Cincinnati Babies
Miller238
member
Need to vent - long
Miller238
member
I dropped Katelyn off at daycare this morning, and when I was getting her food put in the fridge and her stuff all put away, the daycare owner came in the room. We were the only ones in there and she said, "Do you serve Katelyn eggs for breakfast every morning?"
I told her yes, Then she said, "Well, there is another little girl in here who is severely allergic to eggs, and her dad gets mad every morning when he comes in and sees Katelyn eating those. Can you serve her something else?"
I got so defensive and angry. My response was, "Well, does this other little girl drink milk or eat other types of dairy?" And the answer was yes. So I said, "Well Katelyn is severely allergic to milk. Can you have her stop drinking that?" Then I so nicely reminded her that the daycare serves egg noodles for lunch some days. And asked her why they don't stop doing that.
I was just so pissed. I understand the father's concern. I totally get it. But that is a risk of putting your child in daycare. How is it fair for Katelyn to have to get rid of the one thing she can actually eat so that this other kid (who is only allergic to eggs) can feel more safe? If they had to stop eating everything Katelyn was allergic to that is on their current menu, they would be left with strawberries and grapes.
I guess I just got very defensive and this "incident" just reminded me of what Katelyn's struggles could be like in the future.
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Need to vent - long
I don't blame you one bit for being pissed. That father should be understanding if his own child is dealing with a food allergy. The only thing I can think of is that maybe he doesn't know that your DD has so many allergies and that eggs are one of very few things that she is able to eat. Maybe if that was explained to him he might feel differently.
Maybe the dad doesn't know how severe Katelyn's case it. I can't really blame him too much. Everyone wants their child to be safe. It seems as if he is putting a lot of pressure on the daycare though.
Her response to the noodles was, "Yea, we do serve those. At lunch, both of the girls (Katelyn and this other girl) are put in highchairs and they eat there while the other kids eat at the table. We make sure to clean and mop the floors before we let both girls back down."
And I said to her, "Well, isn't that what you do after breakfast too?" And she said, "Yes." So I said, "Well, what is the difference?"
I don't think she saw things from my perspective until I said something about the dairy, or even thought about the egg noodles.
ugh. I don't even have a good response for this -- at least you had something to say to answer her! She really should have had all her information before she said anything at all to you. I think it was inappropriate that she worded it the way she did, anyway -- "Her dad gets mad every morning when he comes in and sees Katelyn eating those". Dumb of her to put it that way.
I hope your comments will be the end of it.
Tyler Anthony arrived on 9.21.09
The Chronicles of Justin and Tyler
I guess I'm a little confused. So they still serve food (to other kids) that Katelyn is severely allergic to? If so, I don't understand how it is any different and I wonder if the owner explained that to the father. Was the owner aware of Katelyn's allergies (prior to this) because she sounds kind of clueless? Maybe a follow up conversation with her, after you've had some time to think about it a little more, would be worthwhile. Sounds like she needs some ed-u-ma-kay-ting.
On the flip side (and I'm just saying this to give a different perspective) you know, first-hand, how dangerous food allergies can be. So since this other child is severely allergic to eggs, I wonder if anything can be done to ease the father's mind (and in no way do I think that you should have to stop feeding K eggs.) Maybe he is fearful that his daughter will pick up a piece off the floor, run up and grab a piece from Katelyn, etc. Does Katelyn eat her breakfast in a highchair or is she separated in any way?
This must be so difficult for you to deal with. ((hugs))
Oh, I would have been LIVID if I were you. I loved your response. I hope she informs the dad, that Katelyn has several food allergies (and you don't act like biotch about it) and I hope the dad feels like a jackass.
And I'm sorry, shame on the owner for calling you out when they serve egg noodles FFS.
I agree. Unprofessional IMO.
Katelyn has been at this daycare since she was 3 months old. They are very well aware of her allergies and have been wonderful with everything.
Yes, they serve food that Katelyn is severly allergic to. They have to. If they didn't, they would have nothing to eat. Katelyn is severe to dairy, soy, beef, pork and oats (in addition peanuts and garlic). Not to mention all of the other foods she is moderately allergic to. It is so hard to find things that don't contain any of these ingredients for kids.
I think the father either doesn't know Katelyn's story (they aren't allowed to tell people what health problems other kids have), or he just doesn't realize how limited Katelyn's options are. I totally understand where he is coming from. At the same time, the center does everything they can to keep the floors cleaned and they don't let Katelyn and this other girl out of the highchairs until everything is cleaned up. Katelyn is in a highchair at EVERY meal.
It seems to me like the father is making a ton of comments to the center about it, so she decided to talk to me to see if there are any other breakfast foods for Katelyn so this guy gets off her back. The owner is older and (from what I have heard), needs to let the Directors run the place.
I am also fearful Katelyn will pick up something off the floor and eat it. She is allergic to EVERY single breakfast and lunch they serve. It is part of the risk of having an allergic kid in daycare.
I know our preschool doesn't allow foods that other kids are allergic too, but... it's a blanket rule.
So what would make me angry isn't that their making the request for you to accomodate the other kid, but that they're asking you to do so without also accomodating Katelyn. Either you make a rule to accomodate everyone's allergies, or you don't make a rule at all, you know?
And that they have the nerve to ask you to stop giving her eggs when they serve egg noodles! WTHeck?!?
That would frustrate me too! I would probably be more pissed at the DC provider than the other parent. Not only was it REALLY unprofessional for her to say the other dad was "really mad" but she just really seemed clueless. Also I agree that there is a risk to putting a child with severe allergies in a day care setting which you seem to understand, maybe this is all newer to the other parent. I would maybe tell the DCP that you would be more than happy to talk to the other parent about their concerns and give them a phone number to reach you at. If nothing else you can explain the situation to the other parent.
Plus, try not too think about the future what if's. I know it's really hard to not think about the future struggles but we don't know what the future holds. As much as it could be as difficult as we imagine it could be much easier. I think food allergies are something that so many more people are realizing they have and more schools are becoming educated and pro-active about accommodating as best they can. ((hugs)) I know things can be frustrating but this too shall pass.
Um, yes. ITA. She should have calmed the Dad's fears by explaining the procedures to keep his daughter from being exposed to a food she's allergic to. They had no reason to tell you what he said. Plus if medical issues are confidential, how can they tell you about his DD's allergy? What a weird situation. Hopefully the director was just having an off day.