Vent

Cinderllabride

So things are going just dandy in my world...

My parents have decided to divorce. I feel like I need to be there to support my mom but I'm barely holding on myself most days. 

I'm having trouble paying my rent,it usually takes one whole paycheck and a week or two of CS. Now they are cutting my hours at work and its only getting worse. I'm going on two weeks late again(I've been late the last two months and will be late the next few months). DD birthday is in a few weeks and I'm having trouble coming up with the cash to throw her a party. I know she won't remeber but I already feel bad because she has already gotten so much less then her brother got.

Today when STBX picked up the kids he gave me CS. It was 40$ short...on top of 50$ he owes me for clothes for DD and the money he said he would give me for her party. His bosses told him yesterday that they weren't moving him back to town (he commutes an 1 and a half). I already never get a break because even on the two days he has them its only for a few hours and I'm usually at work. I'm so tired and can never seem to reenergize. I've been having major issues with depression and scared myse;f yesterday by thinking of suicide. I wouldn't but the fact it even entered my head scares the crap out of me.

I'm sorry I know most of you girls have it alot worse then me, I just needed somewhere to vent...

lawmomma77

Hang in there, momma.  I don't have any advice, but I can send a lot of love your way.  You're doing the very best you can do and your kids will know that.

fromthewomb

I hate money problems. I agree with PP, your kids will appreciate your hard work more than you will realize.

cemacmil

It sounds like you have a lot going on right now, and I'm sorry for that. I hope that you can find some comfort. I had a bad day emotioally myself yesterday and things kept piling up on my brain...that part sucks. It sounds like you are doing your best as a single mom and just keep telling yourself that. Doing your best is what counts...I know I have to keep telling myself that.

dimake

Hugs!  You're entitled to vent...  I'm sorry you're having a rough time.

Are you being treated for the depression?  Counseling? 

Cinderllabride

dimake:

Hugs!  You're entitled to vent...  I'm sorry you're having a rough time.

Are you being treated for the depression?  Counseling? 

No I'm not being treated. When STBX first left I went to my Dr. and got a list of counslers in the area that she recommended. But in the end I couldn't afford it. I am going to talk to her about anti-depressants. I have a history with depression and have always hated the thought of medication, but I'm desprate to feel normal again. I'm hoping I can feel better soon. Thanks for the kind words everyone. it really helps to be able to come on here and just get all the frustration out!