XP: Divorcing someone with a mental illness

Vet-Tech

I'll try to give a brief synopsis of the crap that is my life. 

My DH is bipolar.  He was fired from his job in September & since that time has basically been pretending to work at this or that job & when the time comes for a paycheck, he makes excuse after excuse until he finally admits he hasn't been working.   This has happened more times than I'd care to admit because I feel like such a dumba$$ for believing in him.  I've reached my breaking point & am done with this marriage.  The house is on the verge of foreclosure & I do not have the income to support the mortgage.  We were stupid enough to be talked into an interest only loan, therefore have no equity in the home, & are underwater with the mortgage.  The only option I see, even though it sucks, is a short sale.  I'm hoping to meet with an attorney next week to see where I stand but until then, what should I be doing?  I basically have no communication with him because I can't stomach anymore of his lies.  We have a 7 1/2 month old to think about, but he doesn't seem too concerned that we're going to be out on the street soon.  I'm so stressed & overwhelmed & take medication myself for postpartum depression.  My credit is going down the toilet but I know that is the least of my worries at this point.  I'm really in need of advice/support & don't know where to start to get things in motion. Please & thank you!

lawmomma77

Well... I don't know that I have the advice you need, but I'm here for support, surely.  I suppose my suggestion (as an attorney myself) would first be to go to your local legal aid and explain the situation. They should be able to walk you through what you need to do to protect yourself and your little one. (plus they're basically free)

 Sending you so much love this Mothers Day. Hope everything starts to turn around for you. 

cautionwillburneyes

I went thru something almost identical to your situation.  My XH of 10 years was bipolar, quit working, we lost our house to forclosure and 3 months later I handed him papers to divorce him.  Like your husband he wasn't concerned at all that his family was put out on the street because he didn't feel like working. 

It wasn't pretty and it was certainly a very stressful year.  He ended up in prison, I got full custody of our kids and a 5 year protection order.   I moved and got a better job, and had to declare bankruptsy to get out from under everything.  I am now trying to rebuild my credit and am engaged to a wonderful and supportive man.  It was tough, but I can now say that 3 years down the road my life is so much better than I had ever imagined it could be, and would have been if I had stayed with the idiot. 

If I was you I'd start looking for an apartment that you can afford. If you can sell the house, that's great, but if you can't you need to have a plan.  Start looking after your own interests and start closing joint accounts so that he can't run up any further debts.  Talk to the attorney and see what advice they can give you.  You might be in for a long haul, but there is blue sky on the other side.

Starbuck5

I'm sorry you're going through this. Just know that you did the right thing in getting out. My STBXH is also bipolar and I know how difficult it can be to be in a relationship with someone who wasn't taking the steps to manage it.

((hugs))