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Washington Babies
Happy Friday! It's FFFC time!
Yes, I am up. It's kind of an accident. So I'll start, since I am up.
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I am feeling very unsteady, for lack of a better word (especially at 7:24 a.m.) about some of my friendships. I have some absolutely amazing friends who I would do just about anything for, and feel like they would in return, but BECAUSE those friendships are so outstanding, it is magnifying some of the issues with some of my other relationships.
I don't like feeling used. And I don't like feeling like I'm a friend of convienence. If you don't have any better options than to call me to hang out, believe me, it's noticable. I also don't like when I go out of my way for a friend because THEY tell me it it is a quid pro quo situation, and then they fall through on their end.
I know, I'm probably rambling, but I feel like I have just ... outgrown some friendships? And I don't want to be a jerk about it, but I'm just kind of over some of it. It shouldn't be work or a cause of stress to be friends with someone.
In one specific case, I am talking about a friend who just can't fathom that I no longer am available to talk to her on the phone or online since I now have a job (especially since I WAH and technically AM at the computer). Her constant comments of "you're always busy" or her irritation if I can't pick up the phone are really grating on me. I want to call her out, but it isn't worth the trouble, but I also am not trying to be a jerk and ignore her. My life and priorities have changed, and I don't feel like she is happy for me. And that is really not the kind of friendship that I need right now.
One of my friends says that I am too nice. And maybe I am. But maybe all the nice isn't worth it if I'm feeling burned and used. Maybe it's time for some changes.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Happy Friday! It's FFFC time!
I agree! I have had the same kind of thing happen with my best friend from high school. We'd make plans, I'd leave my house to go meet her and call on the way and she wouldn't answer!!! After that happened twice, I just stopped calling. She'd email me saying sorry, but eventually I think she just felt embarrassed and I was just over setting a day aside to hang out and it not happening. We rarely talk now, pretty much just on our birthdays and it's sad, but at this point in our lives our friendship just isn't working out. Hopefully in a couple years maybe we'll be able to reconnect, but I've pretty much given up for now.
My FFFC
I ate a half gallon of ice cream in 2 days (believe it or not, that's not a record! hehe!)
I have been really lazy lately and just can't seem to come up with much energy to get things done around the house. I know that if I went and worked out or even just for a walk everyday, I'd probably fell 99% better, but I just haven't made myself do it!
I'm falling apart.
I'm about 99% sure is the new BCP I'm on, but I'm going nucking futs. I'm mean to people for no reason, I'm crying at the drop of a hat and I feel like I'm a failure as a wife, a mother and an employee.
I don't have anyone to talk to. BFF is busy nesting and generally going BSC since she's due in about 4 weeks, my other BFF is not someone I would talk to about these things, and DH isn't a good listener.
Yesterday was the last straw. I'd told DH and BFF that I've been having problems lately and I don't know who to turn to. BFF's response was to come over, go through baby clothes and generally talk about her pregnancy and how excited she was for her daughter to be born. Not one word about how I was doing or if I needed anything. DH decided it was in his best interest, even after I'd begged him not to do this, to stay out late last night leaving me alone with the girls for 18 hours with no break of any kind.
I feel abandoned and as much as I love you guys, it's just not the same as having someone there in my face letting me cry and vent all of my frustrations. I'm having to play off the fact that I've been in tears all morning as "new allergies that developed during pregnancy".
So if anyone can recommend someone to talk to, I would really appreciate it.
Unable to even.
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You don't understand the appeal of Benedict Cumberbatch / think he's fug / don't know who he is? WATCH SHERLOCK. Until you do, your negative opinion of him will not be taken seriously.
CG, I'm sorry you are having such a hard time and not getting the support you need. I have a friend who is a counselor and would be excellent, but I think she just has an office on the East side, hopefully someone on here can recommend someone closer to work or home for you.
Hang in there, I'll be thinking of you.
I am sorry to hear you're having a rough time, J. Know that even though it isn't the same (and I totally get that), we are here for anything you need. It is totally understandable that your job, two growing babies, home life, etc., is wearing you down. It's a lot of work! Even a supermom needs a break -- and someone to talk to -- sometimes. I hope that you get just that, very soon. Hugs.
CG- Sorry momma! Hope you start feeling better. I know of a great lady in Edmonds if you want her info.
*I thought TOMS were ugly. I found a cute pair and bought them and now I am in love and want a million pairs of them. I don't care how ugly they are my feet are loving them
My husband wants to quit work and be a day-trader. Scares the crap out of me, he is really good with the stock market, but I dont like the idea of him not "working". He makes good money, great insurance and am afraid he would drive me bsc.
I miss Monday Menu Check In, I keep realizing it hasn't posted late in the day or on Tuesdays.
My MIL is coming to visit next week. I am looking forward to having her and D home so I can go coupon without the kids.
CG I have a fantastic therapist in Redmond. She deals specifically with post partum type issues, issues around moms and babies and new families, etc... she lets you bring your babies if that's more convenient for you... Page me if you want her info...
My FFFC 1: I have a friend with a pretty ugly baby. I sure hope she grows into her face somehow... I feel terrible thinking that, but really, she's weird looking.
My FFFC 2: I have a hard time being nice to people who complain about being "so so tired" when their kid has been STTN for 11 months and just recently started waking up a little earlier than normal.
My FFFC 3: Cooper's sleep is stupid. He's 18 months for God's sake. And he still doesn't STTN. ANd he's still nursing. And both of these things are driving me insane. But I don't even know what to do or where to start and I'm too tired to make any changes.
I just spit my coffee out! LOL Where is this wedding?
Every time DH has a weekend away, I get pissy no matter how far in advance I have to prepare for it. In fact, I'm in all likelihood fine with it until about 2 days before he leaves. He is going to be gone this weekend, and by last night I was crazy irritated due to a wide variety of things (1) he still did his weekly Thursday night dinner with his dad and he was gone over three hours despite my request that he be home early (2) he completely failed to get Jillian to bed while I went to the grocery store at 9pm and (3) his loud friend woke Hayden up requiring that she be put back to bed. I'm pissy because his annual trip happens to be on mother's day weekend. And I'm pissy because I have not had a weekend away from the kids since they were born and he has had several.
Oh and I'm pissy because the girls have been going to bed later since DST and have basically fallen into a schedule that suits him. So I get no time to myself at night, because by the time they go to bed I have to go to bed to in order to get up at 4:30am while everybody else in the house gets an extra couple hours of sleep.
Jen - Mom to Jillian (10/2008) and Hayden (4/2010)
My Blog
CG- I'm so sorry you are going thru this and I know exactly how you feel. I went thru a similar thing when dd was that age, and I kept telling people (dh, friends, etc) that I was having a hard time, I need some help, etc etc and no one seemed to get the hint of how desperately I needed someone to be there. Even when I came out and said it directly to DH. He also goes to school after work so I have both kids from 7:30am to 8:30-9 pm or whenever they go to bed.
Anyway.... I'm rambling. My point is, I would love to gtg with you anytime. Meet for coffee, cry thru Pride and Prejudice, whatever, but we could talk and commiserate
Feel free to fb me. And lots of hugs.
CG- That sucks monkey balls. Can you talk to your Dr about trying some different BC?
I bought DH's birthday present yesterday through Amazon and I tacked on a few things I wanted as well. Not much of a big deal, except that when he looks at the cc statement he will just assume the amount is for his gift, and I won't have to confess to the extra stuff.
When Ella and I play with the sidewalk chalk I have to be a big girl and not pout when she colors on my drawings. What am I, 5?
My MIL bought us a set of fugly dishes a couple of months ago. She was really excited about them, so I am grinning and bearing it. Our first plate broke last night, thank goodness. Only 11 more plates (plus all the other pieces of the set) to go.
**CG - so so sorry, it's probably a little PPD to some extent. It can happen this late. It will for sure help to talk to someone. I had PPD so badly w/ DD and thought I was going to lose my mind.
**Jill - feel your pain on Cooper. DD was so tough and I finally had to just bite the bullet and wean her b/c she wasn't giving up anytime soon. Seriously one of the hardest things I've done but worth it now that she sleeps and I get to sleep. Made a huge difference in my world. I know you have to do what you're ready for and I had that whole I'm too tired to do anything situation too and had a few fails along the way. It's hard I know.
FFFC1: I have been lurking on the Austin board (since that might be home for us soon) and they posted a funny YouTube video on naming kids made by one of the mom's husbands. I can't post the link but if you look for ProjectRant 055 You're Kids are all named the same thing, it's pretty funny. No offense to all the (aden) named kids. My kids have trendy names too but it's still funny.
FFFC2: Even the lure of an overnight w/out both kids is not enough for me to take MIL up on offer to take them next weekend.
FFFC3: I have friends who yell at their husbands while they are away on business. I don't get that - like it's their fault or there is anything they can do about. Vent to your girlfriends but don't take it out on them when they are just providing for the family.
FFFC: I really want to buy a bunch of stuff off Etsy, but its all stuff that I could make if I tried. I just like the idea of it arriving at my house and me not having to do any of the work.
I am so nervous for summer b/c of my weight. I love wearing bikinis and shorts, etc but I am so skinny right now, I am worried people are going to think I have an eating disorder. On that same note, I think I am going to get some self tanning lotion so at least I am not so sickly pale
Writing this out makes me realize I need something better to do with my time than think about this pointless crap.
Every time DH complains that he doesn?t get enough ?guy? time it really pisses me off and then I am grumpy when he actually has ?guy? time. I want to look at him and say I haven?t had any me time since before DD was born, the most I have done is run to the store for 20 min. The problem is I really don?t want to leave her and have no need for ?me? time at this point. Where I get frustrated is that if I did I think DH would panic if her was left alone with her but he goes to hang out with the guys, golf, or fish and doesn?t think anything of it unless he picks up on the fact that I am irritated and then he offers not to go and it makes me feel bad. I really can?t win either way.
I think what makes it worse is that DH got a promotion when DD was two weeks old so he has been working extra hours and away a lot for trainings, when he is home I am very protective of our time together and I want him to spend time with the family. He is a great father and sometime I think I am being selfish, I just don?t want him to miss out on this time with DD.
I miss doing itt too. I need to get my Hip together and start being ready on Sunday nights top post it. With this new job I work on long day 10 hours on Mondays so I rarely get to long online those days. I will post for sure this Sunday!
CG- I would love to get together with oyou and have coffee or sit and talk.
this spinoffs my own confession. I had two good friends, thats it, two. One was totally using me. I was always there for her when she needed help or a shoulder to cry on. and then when the tables turned and I was in need she told me that my drama stressed her out and she dumped me. Myso called dramam was me loosing my job and then 2 weeks later my husband having to go to KY for 2 months and me being left alone with the boys! seriously!
my other friend is like a sister and I love her to death but she drives me crazy with her inability to live in reality.
I really feel alone alot of the time. Like nobody calls me to say hi, whats up. I dont have anyone to meet at the parkl with my kids. I think I am a nie person, I think that I am easy to be friendly with yet I have no friends.
I'm feeling like a major failure as a mother right now. This is my first week alone with all three of my kids after having my husband and family in town for 7 weeks. I am completely overwhelmed and it doesn't help that my boys have been sick all week.
I am actually considering looking for a job because I feel like I suck at being a SAHM. I feel guilty because I had a third baby and I feel like I'm stretched waaaay thin and not being great at being a mom to any of them. Not to mention I feel trapped in my house. I know it is going to take some time to adjust to the new "normal" around here, but right now I feel like things are so out of whack.
My other confession: I am trying to convince my husband to move closer to family. The only thing keeping us here is our house which we will never be able to sell and I'm starting to not care. I just want to be close to family and am ready to walk away from it.
I'm so sorry CG! I totally understand how your feeling....hugs!!
Our dog has been really sick for over a week. DH has been sort of helpful but not really, last night I was pilling the dog and may have nicked the top of her mouth with my finger nail and she freaked out.
Running around like a crazy dog, wanted to go outside so l let her out, good thing the gate was shut or she would have escaped. She kept running around the yard, just crazy, I was so scared, she would not let me catch her. When I did get her and tried to see if the pill was stuck in her mouth she bit me, so my thumb is swollen today. I went inside to get DH would was asleep, he wouldn't come out and help, by this time she had pushed the door open and was in the house. She run to DH side of the bed and was laying her head on his hand. Looking at me like you suck, get away from me. My heart was pounding and I was so scared.
Finally she calmed down and I was able to feed her a bit of baby food and some water. She laid down on DH side of the bed ( which she never does) and went to sleep. She woke up freaking out again at 4am, of course I got up with her, and DH didn't even notice. She only freaked out for a about 2 min this time. She is ok this morning, still very scay and I am pissed at DH for not helping me.
I don't know if this is really flameful, but I really, really want to get a boob job. My poor boobs are even smaller then they were before I got pregnant. I'm barely a B and they're empty little milk sacks on top of that. I've already told DH that once we're done having kids I'm doing it. I don't care if that makes me seem totally vain.
This. I feel ya sister! I am the only one out of a group of about 4 of my (former) close friends that is married and/or anywhere near having children. They go out every weekend and party all the time. 1) I cannot afford that because we are saving for baby 2) I still like to go out and have fun every once in a while but not EVERY Friday and Saturday night.I'd rather do more low key things like shopping or coffee with the girls, etc.
I recently had one of those friends cancel dinner with me because she "hadn't cashed her paycheck and couldn't afford it". She then proceeded to check-in on FB at 3 bars and 2 restaurants throughout the day. That was a bit of a slap in the face to say the least.
I guess I'm just feeling like I'm in a major friends transition right now and maybe even mourning the loss of my old friends a little. It's been rough.
(I guess maybe that was more of a pity part than a confession)
Edit: spellingI'm frustrated that DH keeps spending money...he's self employed and business is slow so he gets no paycheck - his last pay was in December. So we're living off of my paycheck and some savings. But he keeps buying expensive stuff for the car he's building. It's in the name of marketing for his business but it's still driving me insane. And he's buying Starbucks Every. Single. Day.
while I pack my lunch, go without things I want, and work at a job that I currently hate.
I've mentioned it, we've talked about it - but ultimately I don't know how to tell him to knock it off. And that I resent his spending. We've got a baby coming - and that's going to get MORE expensive and while we *can* afford it, he can't continue spending the way he is while making $0 at work.
*sigh*
I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I wish there was more I could do for you. Sounds like the important people in your life really need to step up. It's hard when you feel like no one is hearing you, especially when you have told them how you are feeling. Big, big hugs mama!
No flaming here. If it's something that is going to make you feel better about yourself I say go for it!
I did it and it was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. I was barely an A cup, though.
TTC #2 for a million years: SA normal, CD 23 bloodwork shows nothing amiss, ovulation detected. Next step: ? maybe CD3 bloodwork to check eggs? All out of pocket, so limited IF tests/treatments.
My confession: I won't let Tman be the kid who doesn't have his stuff. I don't know if that's the right way to put it, but if there is something going on at school or church or whatever where the kids are supposed to bring something from home, or dress in a silly way or something like that, I am crazy in making sure he participates. (Sorry, that's a bad run-on sentence.) I don't go overboard or am elaborate, but I don't want him to be the only kid without. Today was hat day at school. I forgot about it until I was home after grocery shopping. I freaked out and went and took a bag of hats to his school for him to choose from at his first break. (He said, "Ah mama, you are so sweet." when I told him why I was there *heart melting*) ETA: His school is about a half hour away, so it's not like just down the street or anything.
I don't know why I can't just let it go. This isn't the first time I've done something like that, and I know he's not the only kid in the whole school that didn't bring a hat today. I'm sure there is a lesson to be learned when he doesn't have "the thing," but all I can think is that I'm a bad mom if he isn't able to participate. He's too young to keep track of this kind of stuff on his own, so it's up to me, and I feel like a failure if I drop the ball.
TTC #2 for a million years: SA normal, CD 23 bloodwork shows nothing amiss, ovulation detected. Next step: ? maybe CD3 bloodwork to check eggs? All out of pocket, so limited IF tests/treatments.
I feel this way all the time.
Sounds like a lot of us could use a hug and a friendly ear these days, me included. I would love the names of the people Breeana and Jill mentioned. I would also really love to get together with anyone just for a smoothie/coffee, kid playtime, whatever.
My FFFC: We're going to visit my folks for 1.5 weeks at the end of May/early June and I just found out my aunt is coming up and staying with my folks too (from TX.) I am glad she'll get to meet C, but am kind of annoyed that she'll be there almost the whole time, which I just kind of feel like is intruding on our trip. She's a very high-stress person, not good with kids, is the polar opposite from me on so many things (including apparently being upset I am not religious since I guess I'll be going to hell
) and takes forever to get ready to do anything. Also we're going to be going to Six Flags while she's there and if she goes (which I hope she doesn't) it's going to be a total drag as she hates theme parks and will probably get tired and complain. I am sure she will have some commentary on our parenting decisions, too, despite never having had kids herself. I do love her, but I just feel like this is going to really make the trip a drag.
I want to get a breast reduction and then get implants so that I have awesome boobies. The kind that stay up without a bra. The kind that defy gravity and mommyhood! I didn't lose much in the way of boobage, but they are saggy and baggy and gross! I totally feel ya, sister!
CG, I react the same way on the pill. I feel out of control emotionally. I yell inappropriately, I get inappropriately emotional, and I cry more than I am happy. You might have a touch of PPD on top of that, like Sunmountain said. If you ever need anything, let me know. I am totally here for you. You can cry the ugly cry all over me. Anytime!
The only Easter Bunny I can get behind.
Maxwell Joseph 4/09 Lucy Violet 10/12
My confession:
I have a project due on Monday. It is a super rush job. The team is totally freaking out about the deadline. They didn't get me the illustrations and screenshots until Wednesday. Problem is, I haven't worked in so long (5 months) that I have no motivation what.so.ever. I finished all the screenshots, but I haven't touched the figures. I need to stop bumpin', facebookin', etc. and get my a$$ in gear, but I can't seem to do it!
The only Easter Bunny I can get behind.
Maxwell Joseph 4/09 Lucy Violet 10/12
I'm feeling venty this morning.
A week later I'm still upset that Syd lost her lovey. We got her a new one but it's not the same and she woke up in the middle of the night crying and we're pretty sure it's because she missed her baby pippen. I don't know if it's AF or lack of sleep but I cry every time I think about her lovey laying there on that roof. I feel like it's my fault that my baby is sad.
Our first family vacation was a big fat FAIL and I'm really disappointed. It had it's highlights and if you look at our pictures you'd think we had the time of our lives but it was pretty crappy for a good chunk of the trip. Oh and Honolulu is a crap city, don't even bother.
I'm jealous of my sister's new house, it has an amazing view, a huge yard, character, and it's not in an HOA. I loathe living in an HOA with all of the cookie cutter houses cramped up next to each other and won't let me have chickens or hang a clothes line yet the neighbors get away with keeping their Christmas lights up until May and the crazy family next door parks their 6 cars on the side walk.
I'm still nursing Sarah every two hours and have no clue how to wean her when she turns one. I am SOOOO over breastfeeding but it's so easy and she eats a TON. I didn't wean Syd because I was working and just couldn't keep up with her so we put her on formula and then switched her to milk. I feel like since I was working then I missed everything and have no clue what to do with Sarah.
TTC #2 for a million years: SA normal, CD 23 bloodwork shows nothing amiss, ovulation detected. Next step: ? maybe CD3 bloodwork to check eggs? All out of pocket, so limited IF tests/treatments.
CG-I've been dealing with the same thing, I have a clinic in bellevue that I went a couple times to and I called my ob and got on some meds. I think the meds helped more than anything. Dh and I also made some new rules like no computer when he gets home.
My confession.. dh and I have been having LOTS of sex, like probably 12 of the last 14 days of it!! He made a deal with me that he would get up with the boys in the morning so I wouldn't be tired if I would have sexy time with him and I am PERFECTLY ok with that arrangement!! I actually feel like it has helped our relationship more than the drugs our counciling or anything else because I feel much closer to him and we talk a lot more.
I feel like a bad mom right now because I pulled the car out of the garage and shut the door so Cruz could ride his bike and I wouldn't have to stand outside in the cold running in and out to check on the baby!
You might not need implants after a reduction. They don't just remove excess, they lift them and put them back where you want them to be.
This is awesome. I think "trades" are totally healthy. I make DH breakfast (at work mind you) every.single.morning. ...because he drives and I get a 1 hour nap on the way to work. People at work kid I'm a traditional wife, but...I get a 1 HOUR NAP on the way to work. Hello?