Know any good jokes?

zazzu

I love a good joke, even if I'm terrible at remembering them.

smilingjb

I'll share some jokes that a 3rd grader shared with me.  She was doing a project on dogs and found lots of dog jokes to go with it!  She even shared the website!! Too cute!!

Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
A: Because you can't bury them in trees!

Q: Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
A: He was trying to make both ends meet!

Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A: A collie-flower!

Q: Why do dogs wag their tails?
A: "Because no one else will do it for them!"

https://www.ahajokes.com/dog_jokes.html

Q: Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?
A: Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw!

Q: What is the dogs favorite city?
A: New Yorkie!

Q: Who is the dogs favorite comedian?
A: Growlcho Marx!

Q: What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?
A: "Well, doggone!"

Q: What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
A: He stole the show!

Q: How can if you have a stupid dog?
A: It chases parked cars!

kaskade

My all time favorites:

Horse walks into a a bar.  Bartender says, "Why the long face?"

How do you catch a unique rabbit?  Easy, unique up on it.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?  Tame way, unique up on it.

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs on your doorstep?  Matt.

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in your pool?  Bob.

As you can see, my humor is not so sophisticated.

zazzu

One I just heard:

A husband and wife are sitting on their deck drinking wine. The wife says "I love you." The husband asks "Is that you talking or the wine?" She replies "It's me talking to the wine."