Confession: I want my ex to disappear

FerreraRocher

I want him to hook up with one of the girls he's been emailing and flirting with and not come back. The money I don't care about. He hasn't made any effort to see his daughter and actually had the balls to ask if I could tell her he loves her. Dumbass!

PrincessFiona9

UGH I know many of us can agree with you.

cedarbuns

I too would love for my ex to evaporate and reappear when DS is grown and hopefully sees his dad be a dad for once in his life... ugh sucks

achase123

Well, if you are getting CS from him right now, I wouldn't 'wish' it away.  I thought this all too many times, even though I was relying on the monthly CS from Super Douche.  Low and behold he did disappear (I haven't seen him since November, and he hasn't seen DS since June 2010), and consequently stopped paying CS.  While it's wonderful that he's out of my hair, the $1K/month I used to get from him was handy!

FerreraRocher

Luckily I can swing not having him around financially. I've been dealing without his monetary support and have saved for rainy days like this. The extra money would help but his constant pushing of my buttons is not worth it. He threatens to go for custody even though I have full custody now. He doesn't call or even ask to see our daughter. I have offered to meet him in public places but he always declines. Piss or get off the pot pooper!

okballet16

Child support is the only reason I don't want my ex to disappear but it would be great if he moved to a different town or something since he doesn't see DD anyway.

PrincessFiona9

We don't have a CS order in place yet, but I don't think he will pay anything even when we do get the order so I'm not even worried about that. The extra money would be nice, but I get by without it.

fromthewomb

It'd be lovely if my XH would disappear. OR it'd be really funny if his and his W got pregnant. BAHA! I think I'd die laughing.

fauxshelley

My XH talks all the time about moving out of state for a job, and as much as he pisses me off, my kids need their father in their life, so I encourage him to stay here.  There will come a time that you will not be so emotionally involved and you will be (hopefully) able to co-parent.  I know it seems impossible right now, but it will get easier.

sweetie0228

fauxshelley:

My XH talks all the time about moving out of state for a job, and as much as he pisses me off, my kids need their father in their life, so I encourage him to stay here.  There will come a time that you will not be so emotionally involved and you will be (hopefully) able to co-parent.  I know it seems impossible right now, but it will get easier.

 

You really have no idea what you are asking for and the years of fall out from it if your wish comes true. 

lawmomma77

I am so with you.

 

I just wish he'd stop pretending like he actually cares about me and my son and be the jerk he really is.  Pay me the money and leave us alone, that's my motto!  

FerreraRocher

fauxshelley:

  There will come a time that you will not be so emotionally involved and you will be (hopefully) able to co-parent.  I know it seems impossible right now, but it will get easier.

I really don't believe that this is true for everyone.  In my case it's best he leaves.

sweetie0228

FerreraRocher:

fauxshelley:

  There will come a time that you will not be so emotionally involved and you will be (hopefully) able to co-parent.  I know it seems impossible right now, but it will get easier.

I really don't believe that this is true for everyone.  In my case it's best he leaves.

I got that wish.  It really is in the best interest of my children that my ex is not in their lives.  I am dealing with YEARS of therapy for both of my children.  Including my oldest having to stay at an inpatient facility for several weeks because of the abandonment issues, trust issues, general depression and not feeling worthy enough to be loved. DESPITE loving involved extended family, a stable and loving home environment, and a Stepfather who has been loving, involved and is currently seeking to adopt them both. 

My children are 14 and 11 yrs old.  I left my ex when my children were 5 and 2.  He has never been involved but drifted away and his family doesn't even try to make contact even though none of my contact information changed.

There really is a lot of emotional wreckage that goes along with the biofather "disappearing".  I'm living it.

FerreraRocher

sweetie0228:

I got that wish.  It really is in the best interest of my children that my ex is not in their lives.  I am dealing with YEARS of therapy for both of my children.  Including my oldest having to stay at an inpatient facility for several weeks because of the abandonment issues, trust issues, general depression and not feeling worthy enough to be loved. DESPITE loving involved extended family, a stable and loving home environment, and a Stepfather who has been loving, involved and is currently seeking to adopt them both. 

My children are 14 and 11 yrs old.  I left my ex when my children were 5 and 2.  He has never been involved but drifted away and his family doesn't even try to make contact even though none of my contact information changed.

There really is a lot of emotional wreckage that goes along with the biofather "disappearing".  I'm living it.

 Issues happen no matter how smooth a person's life is. It would have done more harm then good for him to stay with us. He has recently admitted to having personal problems that would have put my daughter in danger. These were issues I didn't know about in all the years of our relationship and the even longer years of being friends. He now has to go through treatment for those issues and is not allowed to see our daughter unless it is a supervised visitation and for only 2 hours a week. I am sorry your children are having difficulties. It is my firm belief that this is the lesser of the evils. My daughter may have issues she will need to face and I will stand by her when that time comes. 

Another good example is my best friend. Her mother was a drug abuser as well as physically violent. Her father raised her all on his own as the mother disappeared. My friend did have her rough times but she is a stable adult now with a very big heart and a good foundation. 

 

 

UnderAtree

Right now I am wishing that. He never paid for anything when we were together so no use trying to get CS out of him now.

meygan1228

I love this. I always say i wish the Earth would open under his feet and just he would fall in and then the fissure could close and I would be so happy!