I am so sad for DD

CowboysWife04

I am sad the Daddy she thinks is king of the world could care less if he even sees her at all.  The daddy she likes to cuddle with every Friday night has now decided he would rather have his entire weekend free than spend a few hours with her and her sister on Friday nights. 

Quick backstory : Currently DB (he officially earned this new name) picks the girls up from daycare each Friday evening.  On the Fridays when it's my weekend, I pick the girls up from him at 8am Saturday morning.  Other weekends he gets to keep them until 5pm on Sunday. 

This past Friday DB told me he couldn't keep them overnight because his sister (he lives in her basement) had some people coming over.  So, I met him at the mall where he played with the girls in the play area for two hours.  When I met him again to pick up the girls, he tells me he is no longer going to see the girls when it's not his weekend.  When he was telling them goodbye, DD1 asked him "Daddy, when do I get to spend the night with you again?"  She is used to getting to cuddle with him every Friday night and it brings me to tears knowing how disappointed she was not being able to spend the night with him and knowing she won't get to as often as she's become accustomed since he wants his weekends free.

DB works the night shift Sun-Thurs nights, so Fridays are the only nights he can keep them overnight.  Otherwise, I'd suggest he gets to have them another weeknight.  Now he's telling me he isn't going to see them at all on the Friday's that aren't his weekend.

I'm not even sure what to say to her about why she doesn't get to spend the night with him every week.  It means so much to her and crushes me that he just doesn't even care about her like she deserves.

Sorry this got so long!

evanheuveln

Ugh I can relate -

My Ex used to take DD every Mon and Wed nights but last week he decided that he couldn't do it anymore. He's down to every other weekend. This from the man who was b!tching and moaning about wanting as much time with his daughter as he could get.

Some men are such failures - I can only hope that one day DD will see through Exs crap and realize that he's full of it - Nice dream right? 

sweetie0228

You should get a formalized CO for visitation.  That way it makes him less likely to change things on you and you have an easier time documenting how often he is missing-not utilizing the parenting time he is given.

CowboysWife04

sweetie0228:

You should get a formalized CO for visitation.  That way it makes him less likely to change things on you and you have an easier time documenting how often he is missing-not utilizing the parenting time he is given.

Is that something different than the parenting plan which is part of the divorce decree?  We are almost finalized with the divorce and it shows his time with her in there, but he just tells me he's not getting a break on child support for the time he does have them so he wants that time for himself.

sweetie0228

CowboysWife04:

sweetie0228:

You should get a formalized CO for visitation.  That way it makes him less likely to change things on you and you have an easier time documenting how often he is missing-not utilizing the parenting time he is given.

Is that something different than the parenting plan which is part of the divorce decree?  We are almost finalized with the divorce and it shows his time with her in there, but he just tells me he's not getting a break on child support for the time he does have them so he wants that time for himself.

Oooh he's a peach isn't he!

I'm sure it is.  Keep a calendar and write down exactly what he says or when he doesn't pick them up for his visitation time as spelled out in the decree or have him only talk to you about it through email.

I would send a follow up email and say:

 As per our decree, your parenting time is outlined as such....and this is your time to develop and maintain a relationship with our child.  It is my understanding from your communicaiton on....that you no longer wish to maintain this schedule and relationship with our child because you want that time for yourself since you aren't having your responsiblity to finanically support our child lowered. 

I will comply with your wishes regarding this matter but wanted to be clear since you are willingly giving up your parenting time of our child and I am not at all withholding our child from you.

 

This will cover you butt in so many ways

FerreraRocher

That's my butthole ex too. I'm sorry