Not talking to Ex's

JCGreene85

How do you do it? EVERY day I tell myself that I will ignore every phone call and every text and then he texts me and I respond. EVERY conversation leads to arguments. Now, its all about visitation agreements and child support. I try to ignore him and he gets all pissy and says horrible things to me, which of course makes me fire back.... any advice? 

kmartinez80

Not trying to be snarky or rude, but you control your own actions.  When you choose to respond then you choose to get sucked in.  I know that for me, I had to just make myself stop responding (I only had to deal with texts and emails due to the OOP, and now he can't contact me at all because he violated the OOP).  I had to force myself to rise above all the BS and realize that I was only hurting myself and stressing myself out...and therefore he was accomplishing his goal and winning.  Don't give him that power.

JCGreene85

yea, good point... thanks

julia0402

I know what you mean.  We've been relatively civil, but also get caught up in bickering and being petty and insulting each other.  So I finally blocked him on gchat and blocked his email addresses, and blocked him on Facebook.  We communicate via text and try to keep it only to things about Caro.  And if it starts to get nasty, I tell him that even though we are not together, I am still his child's mother and still a person with feelings, and he cannot talk to me that way.  Then I put the phone down and walk away from it.

Good luck.  It gets easier with time. 

bella&baby

You've really just got to decide that if he says something and it's not 1) regarding important and relevant information and 2) completely respectful, you need to ignore it. Gotta be in control of yourself.

Meliss227

I have blocked C's father from calling or texting my cell phone. I have blocked him from my regular e-mail. I made a new e-mail address and its just for communication about C. He can call my apartment phone and leave a message but I will not answer it. I guess it helps that I can't stand the sound of his voice so I have zero desire to pick up. And having everything in writing makes it easier. I have told him all of this too. 

Have you filed for child support through your state? If you go through the state then there is nothing to discuss and that ends that fight.

 

gns1988

 like some of the other lady's sead if he gets nasty on the phone tell him intell you can talked to me like a grown up we will not be speaking and hang up the phone and don't answer when he calls back he just wants the rise out of you it makes him feel as if he is winning after about 2 weeks of doing this with me ex he has stoped talk to me at all not what i wanted for my LO but it works

JCGreene85

Oohh blocking text. I guess I'll call Att today. I have filed for child support and after a year of waiting, the finally came to a decision and now ex says he's contesting it.. I appreciate all the comments!

Mrs.Keith2B

Not that he calls, but I never answer STBXH's calls. I let him leave a voicemail and I'll only call him back if he's specific in what he wants and if it has to do with DS or our divorce. That's it.

Thankfully I'm to the point that I don't have any problems not talking to him, and you'll get there too. It just takes time.

Unknown

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achase123

Block his number.  For whatever reason I have trouble ignoring Super Douche's calls as well.  I found the block feature on my Verizon account and it's been a lifesaver.