- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Parenting
just forget it
I'm DD my post from last night and tonight. I needed someone to vent to and all (most of you) guys do is make me feel worse. I will admit a lot of you make valid points. I've been fine all day, its the evenings that are hard. This is usually when DH and I have OUR time.
good night
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: just forget it
I understand. I do. I really really do.
We are trying to help you. You will look back at this one day and realize that we really were trying to help. No one was mean.
I hope the rest of the week go well for you.
I am sorry I didn't respond to your post or read the other responses but you have every right to vent about it. It is hard to be without your DH especially if you to really enjoy your time together at night.
Sometimes people on here can be harsh and if you are already upset it doesn't make you feel better. Get some sleep and things will seem better in the morning.
I read the post before you DD it, and I don't think people were rude to you at all. They actually were pretty polite considering what they could have said.
I am also curious..how old are you? The first thing that struck me when I read your post was that I bet you are young (and I don't mean that in a mean way).
But no one was being mean....there were several suggestions about things to do/how to make it easier and OP had an excuse for whey nothing would work or make it easier.
The ladies around here try to help, but when the OP doesn't want to hear that help, or think about what the posters are saying, then suddenly everyone is being mean and "harsh."
OP, you really need to gain some independence. It will be a lifesaver, and help you through these time.
Sorry, I read your post but didn't get to respond. I have a LO fighting bedtime.
I always hate it when MH leaves (as much as I complain he doesn't do anything) his presence and knowing there is an extra set of eyes is relief. It's nice to know when I am having a bad day that we will be home in X number of minutes. It's also nice to have an adult to talk to.
You sound lonely. (Duh, your H is gone) but you sound like you need momfriends. Can you join a moms group or MOPS? I do think you need to get out more. Practice small trips and built up to larger ones; they make a huge difference. I swear!! I used to load up large pieces of trash just to drive them down to MH shop (dumpster) when we just needed to get out and do something, anything. The house was too confining!
ETA: try texting (or sexting) YH. It's a way to talk with limited amount of time!!
Kelly Monaghan's 5K - 5/15/11 - 3rd Place in AG
Walk the Talk 5K - 5/18/11 - 31:12 PR
Ridley Run 3.1 - 4/14/12 - 1st race of the year, 32:45
I was wondering this as well.
I read your deleted post right after you put it up, but before anyone responded, so I can't comment on what was said. Sometimes responses can be tough to take, but just judging from yesterday's post, they were helpful and honest. At the very least, it is something for you to mull over and consider.
I like this belly boo...
I seriously debated not responding to any of this.......
I did not say anyone was mean, harsh or any other term used. All I said was that I needed to vent and everyone just made me feel worse. I did admit that a lot of you had valid points.
I dont care to disclose my age for fear of the comments that will stem from that.
To those of you who understand, thank you. I'm really not miserable all day everyday....evenings are just hard on me. DH is my source of venting and I dont have that now.
Moms groups are a sore subject. There is a moms group (a formal one) in the area but I dont live in the two cities that you have to live in to be part of it (basically there are 3 major cities around here and I live in whats considered the poorest/lowest class of the three because that is what we can afford. There are parts of this town that are bad but we dont live near them, I'm sure its those crowds they are trying to keep out. but because of it I cannot join)
No I dont like to be alone, I have never liked to be alone, LONG before meeting DH I didnt like to be alone. I know its my own issue but I cannot justify sitting and reading a book or watching a movie when there is so much to be done around the house.
I do get out every day. I just dont do much when I have to drag both boys out.....even when DH is around, I dont take both boys out by myself very often. My family all work full time as do most of my friends. I dont invite people over to my house because we just dont have the room.....its not an excuse, we just seriously dont have the room to have play dates here. When summer hits it will be better because I have a few friends that usually go to the park with the kids but this time of year sucks, we have very little to do around here indoors.
And infidelity has nothing to do with it. That honestly did not cross my mind at all.
I didn't see the post, and I don't know what's going on. But EK speaks the truth.
Even if you (the OP) doesn't like the responses, doesn't mean that someone isn't getting some enlightenment on their personal situation.
It takes courage to let it hang out.
I was a young mom. Ask the people who have been here with me 5+ years, some of them 7+ years through wedding planning. I've grown considerably.
Anyway, you have to learn to find your own happiness. You cannot depend on him. You can't depend on being happy when he's there. You can't depend on being happy only when things are going your way. Trust me, your life will be so much happier if you just change your perspective.
Have a glass of wine and start there. Wine makes me happy.
oh goodness to it all. it is ok if you dd your post. people dd stuff that they feel is a sensitive nature when it suits them, and i gather this stuff is sensitive to you. see it this way tomrrow is a new day and one more closer to seeing your dh.
and i remember having an infant and toddler/preschooler and finding it crippling to get out sometimes with them. it stunk but we forged ahead, just in case it was better than moping. and sometimes they surprised me and we were all happier because of it.
break up your day tomorrow or in the evening by going somewhere kid friendly for even a little visit. if the weather is not good, a mall, the children's room of the library, mcdonald's, a kid museuam, heck a those germy bounce houses and a coffee always helped me get through the i miss dh times.
hoping you have a good day tomorrow regardless. and count your blessings woman, you will see your dh soon. that my dear does count for something.
I did not see your post that you DDd.
My DH travels. I look back on our LO's infancy as a time of survival. I am so thankful every day that I am not as harried and overwhelmed as I was when he was tiny. There were plenty of sweet moments, but mostly I felt exhausted, under appreciated, and lonely. I didn't even realize how bad it was until I started to get out from under it and began to feel more like myself.
It will get better!
I didn't read your post tonight, but I read the one last night. I can remember feeling that way when DS1 was a toddler and DS2 was a few months old. Not only when DH traveled, but just every day when he didn't get home until 8:00 or later. Those last few hours of the day were so hard to get through-- especially when it was still too cold to take the kids outside for long periods of time. Part of it was PPD, and part of it was Seasonal Affective Disorder, but either way, I would get so lonely during that time of day, no matter what we had done to get out of the house early in the day.
I felt much better when the days started getting longer, but what helped even more than that was getting a jogging stroller and getting outside for exercise. It was seriously like a night and day difference in my mood. I can remember later that summer when DH was away for a few days, I had such a good time hanging out with the boys. Not that I didn't miss DH at all, but it felt so good knowing I could do everything on my own without getting into a funk.
I guess my biggest piece advice would be to start exercising (if you don't already). I finally got a gym membership after DS3 was born and I could no longer take everyone out in the jogging stroller. Being able to go to the gym has been my saving grace through the past two winters. I'd also seriously consider whether you're suffering from PPD or have a vitamin D deficiency. I'm fine over the summer, but my vitamin D gets low over the winter, and I think it plays a big part in how I feel.
Oh, and I lived by myself for one year, and I HATED it. I've never been more miserable.
I missed the post but wanted to send (((hugs))). I hate it when DH travels too. I don't like being alone at night and I don't think it has much to do with being young; I'm not young.
Vent away. And try to remember that people here are trying to help, not make you feel worse.