Houston Babies

I have something to share and hope it may help others

As a parent we want what is best for our children and want everything to be "right" with them.  Unfortunately, not every child is "perfect" in every way.  It saddens me to see parents that are in denial about something possibly being "wrong" with their child.  DD isn't even 3 and right now we are dealing with some things and as they look now, DD will most likely be in special-ed.  It may not be permanent but who knows.  She has been evaluated by early childhood intervention and determined to be 11 months behind on speech and 4 months behind on congnition.  She starts therapy this month but HISD has already been notified "about" her and we have already started the process to have her evaluated by the school district to determine what is best for her. 

While is saddens me that she is not "perfect" I will do anything in my power to do what is best for her.  Unfortunately not all parents are like that.  In talking to my best friend who is a peditrician, she shared that her neighbor has a child a little over 3 who also has speech problems.  My friend has tried to tell the mom that something is "off" and she should have him evaluated.  Mother is in complete denial and unfortunately the son is suffering because of things.  Other kids don't want to play with him because they can't understand him.  That situation isn't unique.  DH's childhood best friend had a brother that everyone knew there was something "different" about.  FIL, a doctor, even talked to the parents to try to get them to open their eyes about things.  Unfortunately they stayed in denial and he never got any help. 

No parent wants to be the paraniod one who calls the doctor about everything but if you suspect there may be any problems make the call.  ECI will do evaluations for free (up to age 3 then they go to their home school district) and it is better to know that nothing is wrong than to question things.  I unfortunately waited.  For a little over a year I suspected DD was delayed with here speech but never called b/c I hoped she would "catch up" or went on stories of other kids.  I now regret waiting so long to call.  For all I know DD might not even be looking at special-ed if I had called sooner.

Please, listen to your motherly instincts and if someone says something (especially someone who may actually have some knowledge behind their comments) please don't just ignore them.  Being in denial doesn't help your child in the long run.  No matter what happens with DD in the future I will always love her and do what is best for her.  I feel like I have failed her for waiting too long so maybe just maybe someone else reading this may tuck this away and if they are in a similar situation in the future they may not wait so long.

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Re: I have something to share and hope it may help others

  • thank you so much for being brave enough to share this Robin
  • Good for you for sharing this and getting DD the help that she needs.  You are a fabulous mother and I very much admire you for the steps you have taken for her!  I would hope that if my children needed it that I would be as brave and open-minded. 
    Abbie Rose 9.26.2004
    Collin Thayne 10.11.2010
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  • I admire you for speaking up about this.
  • imagekat.in.the.hat:
    thank you so much for being brave enough to share this Robin

    Ditto!

  • imagekreeper611:

    imagekat.in.the.hat:
    thank you so much for being brave enough to share this Robin

    Ditto!

    this. 

    image Oh Joy to the World!!
  • I'm very glad you felt comfortable sharing this here.  Like Kat said, you are brave and also a great mother.  Good for you for getting her evaluated.  I hope when her therapy appointments begin that everything goes smoothly.

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  • Perhaps the last thing you need now is some stranger telling you that everything is going to be OK, but I'd like to share with you the story of my friend and PhD advisor. She has triplets, two boys and a girl. One of the boys and the baby girl were diagnosed as autistic at age 2. 

    There's no cure for autism - if you ask most pediatricians - but Dusya and her husband never gave up.  They started the kiddos on cognitive behavior therapy (the one therapy approved by traditional doctors) and although that helped a lot, they eventually reached a plateau. They then started a journey, searching for all therapies under the sun, tested or untested. 

    Well, to cut the story short, the girl is starting regular school this fall. And the boy, although he can't start regular school  just yet, is now talking, playing with other, and doing many other things that doctors and psychologists assured were impossible for these two children. 

    Dusya always says that parents are a child best resource. I am sure you'll be a strong advocate and fighter for your baby. 

    You can read the journey and watch their progress here https://dusyaandliamsonrise.blogspot.com/

    We'll be praying for you.  

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  • Although I don't know you, I can tell you are one great mama! Your daughter is very lucky to have someone accept her as wonderful no matter what. Getting the early invention will be GREAT!

    I work in elementary special education and most of my experience has been in early childhood intervention. I hope (if needed) your daughter is able to get into a wonderful PPCD program (preschool program for children with disabilities). She could get 2-3 great years of this program before Kinder even rolls around. Just an FYI- there are TONS of kiddos in PPCD that are their for Speech Only (either receptive, expressive, or a combo of both).

    Please let me know if you have any questions about the PPCD process if you guys end up that route. My sister-in-law is a PPCD teacher and then I teach Life Skills so I've got a lot of information about the process/possible interventions that may be possible.

    Good Luck on your journey. And keep loving hard on that baby girl.

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  • Thanks for sharing your story.  I know of a family who is in denial and their child is nearly 5 years old and does not talk, just screams all day and he is not potty trained.  They constantly say that in time he will talk and that he is just a little delayed, but the years have stacked up and he doesn't say basic words.  I know is my first baby but you better believe it, I will campaign for my child to make sure I give him/her a fair shot.  I have mentioned things to this family several times that it is ok to get help and that they are not alone, but nothing has changed.  I just pray for them and especially him b/c he is the innocent party in this case.
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  • Wow Robin....I am sorry you're going through this, but what a powerful message you're sending. Thanks for sharing!
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  • Thanks for sharing and good luck to you and your DD. As a teacher, one of the most frustrating things to deal with is parents who are in denial that there might be some kind of  issue with their child. Hopefully with an early start, your DD will get what she needs and flourish.

  • I have to say that my upbringing probably has something to do with how I am handling things.  My mom was a special ed teacher, my cousin was as well and my aunt is a diagnostician so I may be more open minded than others because it has never seemed to be a "big deal" in my family.  That is what they are there for - to help the kids.  Granted, I do hope that the early therapy we are starting will catch her up in the next few years so she doesn't have to deal with kids that will probably tease but if not then it is what it is and you can better believe I will be the parent in the school making a stink when my child is bullied or teased because of her "difference".

    It is scary but it has to be done and I feel horrible for the kids whose parents won't take the blinders off.

    I am open to answer any questions anyone may have and I plan on giving periodic updates for those who may be interested.  I know it can help to be able to talk to another parent in the same or similar situation.

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  • Thank you for sharing.  Please post updates.  You are very brave to share... so many people keep things to themselves, though it could help others. 
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  • kj07kj07 member

    Thanks for sharing.  It's a beautiful (if that's even the right word) summary of the fears and challenges of being a parent. 

    Your daughter is lucky to have you.  My mom is a speech-language pathologist who worked primarily with pre-school and elementary aged children.  Parental involvement in the therapy and interventions can really help a child's progress.  

    Your daughter's road may be short or it may be long, but it will definitely be better with you traveling alongside her.

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  • imageKKMMex:
    I'm very glad you felt comfortable sharing this here.  Like Kat said, you are brave and also a great mother.  Good for you for getting her evaluated.  I hope when her therapy appointments begin that everything goes smoothly.

    Ditto!  You are in my thoughts as you go through this journey.  

    ~*~Jenn~*~
  • imagedarva:

    imageKKMMex:
    I'm very glad you felt comfortable sharing this here.  Like Kat said, you are brave and also a great mother.  Good for you for getting her evaluated.  I hope when her therapy appointments begin that everything goes smoothly.

    Ditto!  You are in my thoughts as you go through this journey.  

    Ditto. Thank you for sharing this Robin.

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  • I've rewritten this a couple time now and am not sure I'll leave it up.

    Some of you already know this.  DS has been in speech therapy for a while.  We have had every test under the sun done so that we can provide what he needs.  Speech is his only delay.  We are using ECI, but honestly I'm not sure they are the best fit for us.  There have been a lot of things that just rub me the wrong way, including our therapist basically discouraging me from going the private route when he turns 3.  Some of the things mentioned were just downright laughable.  

    We will always strive to do what's best for C and I think that's what this pot was about.  Trusting your gut. 

    Bin I hope all goes well for A and you.  Let me know if you ever want to talk.

  • Thank you so much for sharing this.  It is so important.  I know a child whose challenges were ignored as a toddler and is struggling mightily in school now.  It makes me sad.  I wish the best for you and your daughter.  
  • Thank you so much for posting this. My brother was one whose issues went without help to the point where he was a 3+ year old who did not speak and my parents played off as stubborn. The truth was that he could not hear and going that long with his physical issues caused auditory processing issues as well. I wish someone would have helped him out earlier, it would have saved him from so much when he was a student.

    I think what you are doing in posting is a really admirable thing. Good luck to you and A; she is very lucky to have such a great mom looking out for her best interests. 

  • Thank you so much for sharing this, Robin.  I'm sure that you've already helped someone just by sharing your story here.  Please post updates and let us know how you guys are doing.
    Wyatt James born September 14, 2008
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