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Hawaii Babies
cuddling
so for the last 3 days in a row... Miss A will wake up about 1 hour into her nap and start crying. this part isn't new.... in the past, about 90% of the time she'd cry for 1-2 min and then plop back down and go right back to sleep...the other 10% of the time she'd cry for 10-15 min and then go back down on her own.
well, recently she started taking to "cuddle time" right before bed at night and will just lay in our arms w/her head on our shoulders at night before we put her down. so during the last 3 days this has translated into her waking up during nap time and wanting cuddle time. we just go in there, cuddle w/her for a few minutes, and then put her back down and she naps another 1-1.5 hours (so clearly she is still tired).
i am worried that if we keep this up, we'll be starting a bad 'habit' and she'll continue to wake up every day mid-nap for some cuddle time. (she also woke up twice last night and has not done that in ages....she woke at 10pm and 2am... at 10pm it was for cuddle time only and at 2am it was b/c she was hungry). I love cuddle time, esp when it's in the middle of the day (vs. middle of the night LOL) but I'm just not sure that this is a healthy 'sleep habit' to promote? should I stop doing this and figure out a way to get her back to sleep w/o cuddling? or say screw it and take whatever cuddle time I can get with my little girl? 
(FYI she has never been bothered much w/teething... I've had to give her motrin at night a total of 2x in the past... but she is cutting 1 incisor and 2 molars are continuing to make their way up right now so i'm not sure if this might be teething related behavior?)
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Re: cuddling
It might be teething - my guys (who are also working on incisors right now) always get really clingy when they're cutting teeth.
Does she have a lovey at all? A soft blanket or stuffed animal that she could cuddle instead of you? Maybe you could encourage her to use it by cuddling her while she cuddles the lovey for a while and then try to transition her to just cuddling it while in her crib.
she has the fisher price seahorse and a stuffed bear in her crib that she likes to cuddle....sometimes she'll wake up, grab one of them and go back to sleep....but right now she doesn't appear to be interested in either of them during these wakings.
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats
Hmm. What does she do if you don't cuddle her? Does she get hysterical or is it just more fussing (you may have already said what happens, but I haven't had coffee yet today and can't remember lol)? If she's getting hysterical, I'd probably go with it for a little while - like a week - and actively encourage her to cuddle the seahorse/bear while getting mama cuddles as well. But then after that period of time I'd reevaluate (I'm sure that sounds harsh, but like you I worry a fair bit about creating bad sleep habits).
I want to know an answer to this too! How have you successfully transitioned a cuddler to a sleep-on-his-owner?
A cuddles before bed and naps and he has definitely become dependent on me to lay him back down or comfort him when he stirs. We've tried to get him to attach to things, even with my smell, but none of that has worked yet.
Same here. But I haven't tried to get him attached to things yet. But just starting Friday, he became obsessed with a car toy at my parents' place (ie. he won't care if I come back from being out for hours, won't come to me when I call him for a hug/to nurse--so sad!, cries if I take him away from the toy--to eat/change/etc...and he's usually a HUGE mama's boy and LOVES to cuddle/be held/be close) so I'm actually thinking about starting with that toy...
she gets hysterical and starts screaming bloody murder. sometimes it's fake crying though b/c i go in and there are no actual tears....other times she is full on hysterically crying and when i go in to pick her up she is doing that pathetic thing they do when they act like they're having trouble breathing b/c they're crying so hard!
yeah i guess i'll go with the flow for a few more days and see what happens. she's also getting over a cold, too, so maybe it's a combination of the teething and the cold...though honestly she doesn't seem to be phased by the cold at all (just hates it when i wipe her nose!)
well she is kind of backwards...she used to never cuddle w/us and I'd just put her down and she'd go to sleep. but now she wants to cuddle so i'm worried i'm going to create a "monster" by enjoying the cuddle time with her
I never actively encouraged cuddle time before bed. we'd just read bedtime books, nurse, then i'd brush her teeth and put her down and say "night night" and leave the room! it was only last week that she was crying and i was letting her CIO but DH went in there and cuddled w/her and she went back to sleep....he came out and said, "all she wanted to do was cuddle." and so he started to cuddle with her a few minutes each night before bed. in the last few months she started nursing incessantly w/me at night. she'd nurse for a few min. on one side, pop off and then say "more" and want to nurse on the other side and we'd go back and forth maybe 8-10 times. if i tried to stop and put her to bed she'd get mad. so i'd have to nurse how ever many times she wanted before she was content to go to bed. DH kept telling me she was just nursing for comfort but when I tried cuddling w/her she would only continue asking for milk and get mad if i didn't give it to her. it was only after DH intervened and started cuddling w/her that she started cuddling w/me, too. it is great b/c now i am back to nursing just once on each side before bed (I was getting soooo sick of the back and forth every night!) and then we just cuddle and then i tuck her in and leave....but then she started up with this waking and wanting to cuddle!
i think if your LO won't attach to anything despite your efforts you may just have to do it the hard way and let him CIO so he can learn to self soothe and fall asleep on his own. that's how we did it when she was little (i think about 6 months?) and thankfully it didn't take her long. i'd let her cry and then i'd come in at the 15 min mark. it wasn't very often that i'd have to come in and eventually she just stopped crying altogether. i think when they are older it's a bit harder b/c they understand more and can be more 'manipulative' of you =P but it's definitely a skill that every baby has learn at some point or another (some are just more stubborn than others!)
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats
Agreed for sure! I think it's harder on the parent vs the child when they are younger. Now that they are older it's hard for both! I think for us we have to decide what's best for all of us... which I sometimes, like you, struggle if it's the best thing...
Bella's been doing the same thing as Miss A and waking up for cuddles.. I wonder if it's their age?... Who knows for sure. Bella is getting 3 new teeth too. It's hard to tell for sure but like Miss A if you go in there, cuddle her for a few minutes (although sometimes it takes 10-20 mins) then she'll go back to sleep... It's hard for us because if Ryan has to work the next day, he needs sleep (he works on HIGH ladders!) and if I'm nursing Grayson, I can't go in. Bella used to NOT be a cuddler at all so part of me wants to take advantage when i can, I mean it's not like she'll be 12 and I'll be going in to cuddle her back to sleep! And we don't bring her in to our bed which would create issues I'm sure! My sister's 7 yr old still sleeps with them and I don't want that so we're careful not to bring her in our room. It's a tough call! I say cuddle her
Interesting thread... Alexa is doing the same thing! Haha. I used to just put her in her crib and she'd go to sleep. Now she wants to hug me before bed. So I hug her and then after a few minutes, she'll push me away and reach for her crib, so I'll put her down then and she'll go to sleep.
BUT... She also has woken up in the middle of the night before and call for us or stands up and put her hands up and says "UP! UP! UP!" and then want to cuddle with us and not go back in her crib. I will do it once, but then I put her back and let her cry or put herself back to sleep. I won't hold her all night or multiple times a night. However, DH is a softie and will hold her all night, which I think is REALLY bad. He started this while I was away for 8 nights so I am now trying to break her of this habit. Arg!
Bottom line, we have no answers... But I keep thinking that it'll go away and she'll go back to sleeping well. She only pulls the wake up in the middle of the night for cuddles thing about once every 2-3 weeks.
Malia & Dave & Alexa
Happily married since 2-17-08! Three since 9-9-09!
Baby Blog
haha... it must be a developmental thing, when they get to this age, then. they must be starting to really comprehend what affection is and what cuddling is.
how long does she cry before going to sleep? i have only gotten to about 15 min max and then I give in and go in there.... wondering if we need to just let her CIO but we are still nursing so sometimes it's just easier to go in there... i always just cuddle first but sometimes when i got to put her back in the crib now she says "milk" and fusses until i nurse her....last night she woke up an hour later and did the same thing but i knew she couldn't possibly be hungry so i said "no milk" firmly and she settled for some more cuddles..... she's continuing to do these night wakings almost every night, not just every few weeks like alexa, so i am hoping she starts STTN again soon. she's over her cold now and her molars are almost all in (but she's still cutting an incisor) so who knows what's going on......!
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats