If your LO had a hard time transitioning to school....
did you let the school know beforehand? I highly suspect DS will have a rough time when he starts preschool in the Fall. People tell me that I never know, he may be fine, he might be ready then, etc. We have been trying to leave him in Sunday School by himself and every single week, they have had to come get us to get DS because he cries hysterically to the point of hyperventilating when we leave. (We've been going to that church since he was born!)
He is very timid and shy in general, and still has very strong stranger anxiety. He still cries when he sees his uncles after not seeing them for a few months. It took him over 2 years to not cry when he saw his grandparents (who comes every other weekend).
There is a section in our preschool forms that asks us to tell them anything about oru LO that might help them understand him better. I did note that he may have a rough time at first and suggested maybe introducing him to things/toys that he likes (trains, animals, etc) first to ease him into things. Should I have not done that? I don't want them to be like, oh no, before they meet him. At home, he's so loud, witty and rambunctious, but once he's outside of his very small comfort zone, he's a totally different person.
Re: If your LO had a hard time transitioning to school....
Your DS will transition eventually. My DS cried for probably the first 3 months of 3 year old preschool and at first his teacher just had to let him be and he did his own thing. He slowly started doing what the other kids were doing. He still cries after there is a disruption to our normal routine like spring break but its only until he can't see me anymore.
What worked best for us and this was his teachers suggestion was to ignore DS crying. I would take his coat and backpack, sit him on the rug (they do story time first) and then hang his stuff up and leave without saying anything to him and I wouldn't even look at him. yes it was hard at first but it got easier and slowly the tears went away.
I think you did absolutely the right thing by letting them know! Our preschool director always tells new parents their first year at the school that the best way to transition the child is to bring them into the room, help them put their coat/backpack away then quick kiss "I love you, see you soon!" and go. No matter what. Their experience is that the longer the goodbye, the longer it will take them to transition. I have to say, for the most part it works well. I didn't anticipate that my DD would have a hard time based on her personality, but it turns out, it was harder than expected. I did what they asked of me & it didn't take long before she was doing just fine. She started preschool just after age 3 and she will still say she doesn't want to go sometimes, but she always has fun when she's there. Her teacher has been great communicating with me about her.
It was a totally different experience w/my DD who was almost 4 when she started. She had started out a very shy kid (refusing the church nursery, difficulty w/relatives she didn't see all the time, etc) but she went right to preschool w/no problem. She is now the most social kid EVER lol! Good luck. It will be hard to leave him if he's upset, but as long as he's in a good place that you trust & they are communicating to you about how its going, he will be just fine.
It probably doesn't help at all but these teachers deal with this kinda thing all. the. time.
I'm sure they're not surprised to see you noting it on the form.
Some advice that helped us:
1. Make a point of driving by his school and talking about how that's his school and he gets to go there at the end of summer and will make new friends and have fun. By the time school started my guy was actually asking WHEN he would finally get to go to school. He was pumped!
2. Start early with things like picking out a back pack. Make it fun and exciting.
3. Find out if they have an open house. Ours did an hour for the kids and parents to just come sit around and play in the room the kids would be in. My kid RAN into the room on the first real day of school and didn't even tell me good bye. He was too excited to get to play with all that neat stuff again.
4. The book "Llama Llama Misses Mamma" by Anna Dewdney. We read it every nighty thru the summer and it's still high up on the request list. All about Llama Llama's first day of school, how he misses Mamma but settles in to play with new friends and then realizes that Mamma "always comes back".
5. Plan some time away from him now. Have DH take him to new places without you. Explain to him that he's gonna be away from Mamma but mamma "always comes back" (or find some catch phrase that works for you). I know that's not 100% away from both of you but it's new kids, a different environment with plenty of potential for fun and the chance to lesses anxiety about Mom being away from him with the chance to learn that he can have fun without Mom around.
I'll be honest - there are 2 kids in Dylan's class that still have issues and the school year is almost over. His teachers STILL do a wonderful job helping transition them to start their day and they're always fine and happy when the parents come to pick them up.
This is a VERY normal thing for pre-school teachers to deal with. I think you'll be surprised by how well they handle it.
And my last bit of advice is to leave as quickly as you can. Your heart hurts knowing they're sad but they really do settle in much faster once you're out of sight and they can become distracted by the class room, friends and teachers.
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
Wow, I was just about to write an extremely similar post, as I am getting so nervous about DS going to preschool this fall. My DS is definitely "slow to warm up" to new people and places and is especially shy around other kids. In fact we have a very outgoing, high-spirited neighbor girl who is 2, who makes him cry just by getting too close to him. Sigh. And it takes a long time for his true, funny, goofy personality to come out when he is around people he doesn't know well. He does eventually come out of his shell, but it's always with me around. He has never been away from me other than with my husband, my parents, or my in-laws. I am definitely enjoying the tips and reassurance of this thread.
Oh and by the way, I bought the "Llama Llama Misses Mama" book, and when I read it to him, I could tell he was very serious/borderline upset, and although he said he liked it in the end, now whenever we offer to read it he says, "no thanks, that book too sad". I have a very sensitive little guy... and I love him to pieces and wouldn't change a thing about him, I just hate to think of preschool being a traumatic transition!
My son sounds a lot like yours. He is very shy in new situations, but the most outgoing kid ever at home. I was sure he would have trouble adjusting to preschool. He started last August when he was 2.5. We told his teacher how concerned we were about the transition and that he had some separation anxiety. Thanfully, his teacher was awesome about it and helped him so much. The first couple of months were rough. The first weeks he would cry the whole time (he went tues and thurs 9-12). Eventually it got easier. He ended up clinging to his teacher and the aide for a while and didn't start warming up to the other kids until a couple months in.
Now, he absolutely loves school! He has friends. There are two boys that he calls his best friends. He can't wait to go to school. It has been such a great experience for all of us and I'm so glad that we stuck it out through the rough weeks. He has grown and matured so much this year socially. I don't know if it's the age or school or combination of both, but I can't say enough about how happy I am with is experience this year.
Good luck!