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October 2011 Moms
txhottie
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Exciting News???? (vent)
txhottie
member
So my SIL tells us yesterday that she is 8 weeks pregnant! I am really excited for her and that our little ones will be so close in age, but at the same time I feel like she is competing with me! She had been telling me they were waiting to start trying until her husband finished school in December and they got their move all settled (their house is on the market and they are currently living with her ILs). But surprise she went off BC and they have been trying for the last 3 months? It is pretty strange to me that they got pregnant like the MONTH I told her I was expecting.
I have such mixed emotions!! I am going to try to be excited b/c it is good that our kids will be so close and fun to have cousins to do stuff with but it is going to be hard! I just sort of wanted my first pregnancy to be mine, if that makes sense. Am I being ridiculous?
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Re: Exciting News???? (vent)
My little CHD warrior. Born 9/29/11. Got his new heart 10/20/11
BLOG :] & Shaping Up
my SIL knew she was pregnant when we told our news and then she waited to make a big production about her news.....2nd baby for both of us. she is due the same exact week as me and i was pissed off when we first found out, but now that some time has passed i could care less. it actually is keeping MIL off my back which is great and really, who am i to tell someone when they should have a baby?
i understand how you feel but as the months go by it probably won't bother you....and besides your LO is due first so you will have your shower first and your baby first so it is still exciting for you.
Joseph Henry was born at home on March 9, 2009
Nora Mae was born at home on October 30, 2011
This. And if they had been trying for 3 months they were obviously trying before you told them you were pregnant. We used to tell people we were waiting for MH to finish school (he'll be done in August) before we had another one just because we didn't want people bother us about it and because we didn't want comments that we should wait. I have a feeling your SIL was probably saying they were waiting because obviously moving and being in school aren't the ideal times to have a baby.
Look at the positive, like you mentioned. The kids will be close in age!! My brother and his wife are pregnant with thier first and 7 weeks ahead of me. I didn't know they were trying but they knew we were (with our first).
I wasn't mad at all. I was really excited. It's kind of is wierd to think of it as a competition, it's life and it's beautiful.
**I'm sure they weren't trying to steal the spotlight and there is enough love to go around... and the scary thing about trying, is you don't know if it's going to take 3 months or 1 year...or longer.
I think your emotions/hormones are getting the better of you.
So what if she's competing with you? That's her problem - and while it may be annoying, you can't control what she does. You can, however, decide whether or not to let it drive you crazy. Maybe she did intend to put off ttc, but decided for whatever reason, maybe after you got your bfp, who knows, to jump headfirst into the pool because she wanted your LO's to be close in age and she was more ready than she thought.
Anyway, it is what it is. Vent away all you want here, but don't let it get the best of you in real life. Like DomerJen said, nobody gets "rights" to weddings and babies, life just doesn't work like that. Sometimes things overlap, and when that happens, try to focus on the positive, otherwise you'll just have a good old time making yourself miserable.
BFP 1/18/11, EDD 10/1/11. Born at 37w5d on 9/15/11.
***BFP Chart***
"There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.
I have a SIL about a month behind me as well. With us though, they couldn't have known about this BFP (didn't tell until 13w, so she was already KU).
I'm excited that our kid will have a cousin so close in age. One of my closest cousins is about the same age difference younger than me, and its been great having her around. I honestly don't have an issue with the pregnancies being so close. Each of them will have their own ups & downs and each of the kids will be their own person. I'm looking at it more as that family gatherings and such will be a lot more interesting from now on, lol.
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11
BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14
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~All AL'ers welcome~
I sorta understand how you feel because the same thing happened to my mom with her SIL. SIL didn't like that my mom was getting the attention so they started trying (took them 7 months tho). Not only that, but my mom had mentioned the boy & girl names she had picked out and when they knew I would be a girl, they stole my mom's boy name LOL. I don't think it gets much tackier than that!
It was fun to have a cousin fairly close in age though so that's the other side of the coin
it's not all about you. sorry, it's ok to feel a little upset, but you need to put yourself in her shoes. frankly you should get over it and be supportive.
like I said, it's ok to be upset and vent, but you need to put it in check and remember that this is HER first pregnancy too, and she deserves it to be special just as much as you do.
Yeah, I have to agree. Just be happy that there will be another precious baby in the family
This, pretty much exactly. I finish school in July and when people asked us when we were going to have a baby, our default answer was always "after school." We didn't feel like having anyone's opinion that we needed to wait longer or anything else. It was just a logical point in time that we chose, not something we necessarily set in stone. We started trying when we knew it wouldn't be the end of the world to get pregnant and it just happened to be a couple months before I finished school.
we told people we hadnt decided yet while I already knew I was pregnant - so you cant listen to what people might say on the outside.
I really doubt she heard you were pregnant, went home that day and the very first try - they got pregnant.
I think you are over-reacting. Think of it the other way, if they were trying since December and you announced before they knew, she might have been bummed that you conceived before her. I know I felt bad telling my sister because I know she is trying too.
Yep, you're being pretty ridiculous. If anyone asked us when we were going to have kids we always told them "a couple of years." My sister suffered through infertility and if we experienced the same thing I didn't want it to be public knowledge. Our families were blindsided when we told them I was pregnant.
I bet your SIL told people they were waiting because they didn't want to get harped on, either. Just be happy for her and move on. Like others have said, it's perfectly fair for other people to have a baby at the same time as you.
This
One of my SIL's is due a month after me and I am super excited for them. It will be a lot of fun to have cousins so close in age.
I'm really thankful my SIL (BIL's wife) can't have anymore kids, she is already trying to get attention because I'm pregnant, I know she would purposly get pregnant now if she were able to have more kids (they are significanly older than DH and I). Anytime I post a status about my pregnancy on FB for example she posts a status about how she is losing weight. She has always been competitive with me since day one. Its sooo frustrating because thats not my personality. She is an incredibly jealous person in general and has few close friends because of it..So I can understand!
I don't think your being ridiculous. Just keep trying to focus on the positives and don't get into a "my way is better" match with her. Good Luck!
Eh, I don't think it's a big deal. My sister got pg with her 2nd while I was pg with my first and I was pumped that the kids would be so close in age. If you've ever had trouble conceiving, then you'll know that you can't control when it happens, and you don't plan around other people...you just want so badly for it to happen. Be happy for her, as I am sure she is for you. Maybe she thought it would take a while, but even if not, does her being pg take away from your LO? Of course not--I'm sure your families are ecstatic and now you have someone to share all the pg stories with!
This time around, my sister and I are pg together again...about 20 weeks apart, again. So, I've never had any pregnancy 'to myself' but I don't see how that changes anything-we have so much to share and compare with now, you know?
GL to you!
I think I get it. Since I am not exactly fond of my SILs, I would be feeling the same thing. Not that they don't have any right to become pregnant whenever they want, but I have the right to be irked by it.
I'd vent to DH and other than that smile and keep my distance.
I Agree
Just another point of view, my mom and aunt were pregnant at the same time, with my cousin and I, and we ended up being born on the same day. It was my mom's first and my aunt's fourth. My aunt and uncle decided to wait to share their news after my mom announced so that she could "live in the spotlight". I think they ended up finally telling when they were five months along! While my mom appreciated being the center of attention, she also wished she could have experienced the early stages with my aunt.
And, this cousin ended up being my favorite cousin! We have a special bond because we share a birthday.