When did you feel better? — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

When did you feel better?

I have a friend who I was 7 weeks behind in due date and DH's cousin who was 6 weeks behind me. This just makes it harder for me. When were you okay again to deal with all your pregnant friends? It been around 3 weeks since are loss but it still feels awful :(

Re: When did you feel better?

  • I wish I had an answer for you; it's still so hard for me dealing with friends who are due around the time I would have been. (((hugs))) Hang in there lady.

    BFP 2.19.11 - Missed miscarriage, April 2011
  • I know how you feel!  My friend, who lives a couple of houses down from me, is due 2 days after I would have been.  I have no idea how the next few months are going to go..

    BFP#1 EDD 11/8/11 - MC @ 9w6d, 4/15/11 we said goodbye
    BFP#2 DD arrived 5/7/12
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    So far...never.    


    I'm sorry for your loss.  

    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Premature Baby tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers image image image
  • I'm so sorry. Sadly, I don't think the pain will ever go away, you will just learn how to live with it. I have days where I laugh and smile, then I have bad days. I will say I'm having more good days than bad days, but that's just this week, who knows what next week will bring.

    My Old Blog | My Chart | TTCAL Shenanigans
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  • Ummm, I'll let you know when I get there.  My BFF is pregnant and due three weeks after when I would have been.  I haven't seen her since my m/c and I have a very hard time talking with her on the phone.  She has been very gracious and has not mentioned her pregnancy once since my m/c.  I feel like a bad friend for not asking how she is feeling, but I just can't.  I have no idea how I'm going to cope with her pregnancy and the birth of her LO.  It just makes me feel like dying.  I really never knew I could be so sad for such a sustained length of time. 
    m/c at 6 wks 2002
    Endometriosis, s/p lap 2009
    Behcet's disease, s/p partial vulvectomy 2010
    Started bromocriptine to lower prolactin level 2010
    Clear HSG 11/2010 :)
    DH morphology = 4, rest of SA looked good 01/2011
    02/2011 First Clomid 50mg cycle
    BFP 03/02/2011
    No heartbeat at 10w5d 04/18/2011; D&C 04/23/2011
    07/2011 Second Clomid 50mg cycle, BFN
    08/2011 Third Clomid 50mg cycle, BFN
    10/2011 First Clomid 100mg cycle with Ovidrel trigger = BFN
    11/2011 Second Clomid 100mg cycle with Ovidrel trigger = BFN
    12/2011 Third Clomid 100mg cycle with Ovidrel trigger = BFFN
    01/2012 Fourth Clomid 100mg cycle with Ovidrel trigger = ?
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • One of my friends at work is pregnant. I don't have much problems with it. It's just not my time, and when I do get pregnant again I will enjoy it and complain about it, etc. just like she is doing now.
    GlitterPhoto GlitterPhoto
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Together since 5/08 ~ Married 6/19/10 ~ TTC #1 since 8/10
    BFP#1 3/26/11 ~ EDD 12/2/11 ~ Ectopic Twins left tube 7w3d
    BFP#2 11/2/11 ~ EDD 7/14/12 ~ Robert Edgar born 7/18/12
    BFP#3 9/28/13 ~ EDD 5/20/14 ~ Benjamin Clarence born 5/15/14
  • I think it varies for everyone.  For me, I felt physically better right after my D&C, I didn't really have any complications at all.  Emotionally, I felt a little better about a week out when my hormones dropped quite a bit.  But I'm not *better* exactly, I will still cry when I think about my loss too much, but I feel like I'm mostly better-ish.  It's been about 3 weeks for me.  I'm trying to focus a little more on TTC again, and that does also help quite a lot.

    I think if I'm not pregnant by then, I'll definitely feel it pretty badly again on my EDD.  But all of it is a grieving period, you'll take as long as YOU need, and it doesn't matter how long is "normal."  I'm so sorry for your loss, time does make things a little better, but slowly.  *HUGS*

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  • imageLaTi07:

    I'm so sorry. Sadly, I don't think the pain will ever go away, you will just learn how to live with it. I have days where I laugh and smile, then I have bad days. I will say I'm having more good days than bad days, but that's just this week, who knows what next week will bring.


    It has been 15 months since my first loss and I still cannot go anywhere near a friend who was due the same day as I was. Her baby was born beautiful and healthy but I haven't been able to be around them. I often wonder if I will EVER be able to. 

     Babies and pregnant women still upset me no matter how hard I try to not let them get me down. Or how hard I try to be happy for others.

    I remember being pregnant with our second (before we lost her) and walking around in Target's baby department when I saw a very pregnant woman and I just couldn't hold back my tears...even though I was pregnant I was so upset to see her.

    It does get better, don't get me wrong, the pain loses its sharpness but I agree that it never goes away completely. You just learn how to deal with it. 

    [spoiler] My Blog: Grow Baby Grow

    BFP #1: 12/2009 m/c 1/2010 BFP #2: 6/2010 m/c 8/2010

    BFP #3: 10/2011 ectopic 11/2011 (right tube removed, learned left tube was probably nonfunctional due to scar tissue from infection after m/c)

    3 failed IUIs, IVF #1: 18R, 12M, 10F, 3 poor quality 5d embryos transferred= BFP #4!!!!!

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    JD arrived at 38 weeks on October 20, 2015.

    TTC #3: Since October 2017. BFP #6 July 2, 2018 EDD: March 16, 2019 [/spoiler]

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    I honestly don't know.  Pregnant women don't bother me as much as they used to, but I did not have a pregnancy loss.  When someone announces a 2nd pregnancy it upsets me (DS was my second pregnancy and child).  When someone announces they are having a boy, it upsets me.  When I see children that should be DS's age or was his age when he died, it gets me.  I have several friends that had a child right around the same time as DS, and I watch their children grow older while mine is gone.  I don't know if the pain will ever go away.  I have noticed little changes just recently.  I agree with pp that said the sharpness gets better, but it will never leave me.  Hugs to you.






  • I'm not sure it ever goes away completely .. and in some ways I don't want it to go away completely - but eventually you figure out how you will go on - it took me three weeks and a therapist.  I had to learn one lesson - its okay to hurt and its okay to cry - more than okay - its vital and how much or how little you hurt or cry is right for you and only you.
    smaller alaska pic Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • I too am 3 weeks today since my loss.  I don't want to participate in any thing that includes me seeing pregnant ladies.  My DH's cousin is due 2 weeks after me and it is so painful.  (what didn't make it better was receiving a thank you on cutsy baby shower cards for the gift I sent her a month ago and her writing one line (in the BABY THANK YOU) of symphathy in the card.  ug)

    I hope it gets better.  I'm sorry. 

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    It's been 5 weeks since my m/c and other than the first couple of days after the m/c, I think the hurt is more now than it was the few weeks following. Have six friends all due within 3 weeks of what my due date was so I am surrounded by similar pregnancies constantly.

    I realized today that I am incredibly jealous, distances, hurt, sad, and probably even a bit bitter (although, I despise that about myself right now) about it.











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