WWYD - My 2 year old is still not sleeping - CIO

love22

So we started a sort of Ferber CIO with M a week ago and it isn't working.  He isn't sick and one night I even gave him some tylenol ahead of time just in case there was something wrong.  He has been crying every night for 2-3 hours.  And even then he doesn't lay down and go to sleep on his own he finally is just so tired that when we go in he lays down or we give in like last night after 3.5 hours of crying and rocked him to sleep.  Not only that but he is still waking up after 6 hours crying.  Dh and I are at our wits end.  We didn't even intend to start CIO at bedtime because he has been putting himself to sleep without crying for months and all of a sudden he freaks when we leave the room.  What would you do?

fricksgirl

*I* am the self-proclaimed "Sleep training Queen" so what I would do is extreme.  But- if you stick to it, it WILL work.

Put him to bed with a normal bedtime routine.  Night-night, kiss-kiss, whatever you do... if his bedtime is 7:30 (which IMO should be the latest that it is) then you put him down at 7:30, and decide what time is ok for him to wake up (say, 6:30 AM).  And after 7:30 PM- you don't go in.  Period.  Until 6:30 AM.  

The only reason you'd go in is if you think there is obviously some kind of serious problem, and by serious I mean he has thrown up, has a fever, etc.  Not just that he's crying.  

Now he's 2, so this is going to take a while.  He's used to being up- it's really easiest to sleep train earlier when they haven't developed habits.  

I swear if you do it it will be less than 4-5 days and he'll be STTN no problem.  It will be 4-5 SUCKY days though.  But you CAN'T GO IN.  AT ALL.  No matter what.  

And that's my hardcore bumping for the day!!

kittylove

(((Hugs))) We are battleing some sleep regression due to the 2yr molars. It sucks! I don't reall have an advice as nothing has worked for us.

Mama_v2.0

If it were me I would (or DH would) lay with him until he goes to sleep. He obviously needs some reassurance or comfort at night. I would basically start from the beginning all over again. For some reason my kids always do this kind of thing to me when I am PG (even when I haven't even told them yet.) A pregnancy is not complete unless I am be 36 weeks PG sleeping on a low to ground twin with my youngest, praying that they learn to put themselves to sleep in the next few weeks. 

Mrs.BoomBoom

Whatever you do, talk to him about your decision.  At 2, he's old enough to understand.

tiki_t

That sounds exactly like what my kids do when they are getting ready to grow. It's a pattern with them. They have been doing it since 2 and now they are almost 4. Is he being unusually super clingy during the day on top of it? Are your kid's cheeks looking extra chubby? On top of what you are experiencing, those are the signs for us.

If this is the case, my kids do this for about a week (yeah, it sucks). I just have to lay down with them and sleep in bed with them if I want any hope of catching any sleep at all. Sometimes after they fall asleep, I might be able to sneak out and sleep in my own bed but if they wake up in the middle of the night, it's back into their bed that I go. After their growth spurt, it's back to normal. I'm not sure if that helps. I just know all kids are different when it comes to stuff like this, but in case you kid is anything like mine, it might shed light on the situation.

m&m818

fricksgirl:

*I* am the self-proclaimed "Sleep training Queen" so what I would do is extreme.  But- if you stick to it, it WILL work.

Put him to bed with a normal bedtime routine.  Night-night, kiss-kiss, whatever you do... if his bedtime is 7:30 (which IMO should be the latest that it is) then you put him down at 7:30, and decide what time is ok for him to wake up (say, 6:30 AM).  And after 7:30 PM- you don't go in.  Period.  Until 6:30 AM.  

The only reason you'd go in is if you think there is obviously some kind of serious problem, and by serious I mean he has thrown up, has a fever, etc.  Not just that he's crying.  

Now he's 2, so this is going to take a while.  He's used to being up- it's really easiest to sleep train earlier when they haven't developed habits.  

I swear if you do it it will be less than 4-5 days and he'll be STTN no problem.  It will be 4-5 SUCKY days though.  But you CAN'T GO IN.  AT ALL.  No matter what.  

And that's my hardcore bumping for the day!!

This is what we do. Its always a rough 1-3 days but it works. (until the next vacation or illness)

futrkingsley

Mama_v2.0:

If it were me I would (or DH would) lay with him until he goes to sleep. He obviously needs some reassurance or comfort at night. I would basically start from the beginning all over again. For some reason my kids always do this kind of thing to me when I am PG (even when I haven't even told them yet.) A pregnancy is not complete unless I am be 36 weeks PG sleeping on a low to ground twin with my youngest, praying that they learn to put themselves to sleep in the next few weeks. 

I'm not pregnant but this is what we do too. 

If your DS isn't responding after that many hours of crying, it is possible that he's a tension increaser not decreaser and the crying is making him more upset rather than "helping him learn to self soothe."  Given that he's now transfered his anxiety to bedtime and not just night wakings, that would be my guess. 

If DS is genuinely distressed I try really hard to not push him in those moments.  It doesn't end well and is counter productive for us as a family. 

I hope you all get some rest soon.