MIL RANT *aaggh*

bridetobe6808

I swear, my MIL is not on team Julie. She tells DH one thing, and then acts oblivious when we have the same conversation. I have been looking at cribs, changers, gliders etc...trying to get a good deal. I have been trolling craigslist and found a beautiful set at a great price. It is not 100% the color I thought I wanted, but I can adjust. Everytime I look at it, I like it more and more. It can work for either a boy or girl, so I am happy. So, DH tells her about the set that I found and she says, "Oh, no, you can't get my grandbaby something used. I will buy you a new set." Then when I talk to her about it, she acts like she never even said that. I am ask what she thinks about the set that I found on Craigslist, etc etc...and she just says, "Well, have you looked here, or here?" But agrees that it is nice. I am not going to outright ask her to buy us new furniture, but if she knows I am about to go buy something, shouldn't she stop me? So, by the end of the conversation, this is what she says. (THIS IS THE PART THAT BURNS ME UP) "Oh, I found a really great deal for a new set, I am going to buy this for my house for when you come to visit" Excuse me? Why are you putting a crib in your house? You live in North Carolina and I live in Florida...you do the math. She is not the one that needs a crib!!!

 Seriously annoyed.

mairanellis

I'm confused.  Did she say that she wanted to buy the baby's furniture?  If not, why are you asking her opinion?  If so, I would just tell her "We found the furniture we'd like" and if she doesn't take it from there I would just buy it myself.

LittleApple

mairanellis:

I'm confused.  Did she say that she wanted to buy the baby's furniture?  If not, why are you asking her opinion?  If so, I would just tell her "We found the furniture we'd like" and if she doesn't take it from there I would just buy it myself.

This.  If she doesn't offer next time you mention it, just buy it yourself.

weddingbells2010

 

If your issue is wanting her to pay for the nursery set and she hasn't outright offered yet, I'd move on and get it yourself- or ask your husband to clarify with her in a tactful way.  If your issue is not wanting her to have a nursery in her home, although you can't really tell her NOT to (it IS her house), try: 

"That's very thoughtful of you MIL, but you might not get your money's worth of use out of it since we don't live down the block...we thought about registering for a pack'n'play for you to keep at your house instead."

Idomoodou2

I think the issue is that her MIL IS offering to buy a crib to her DH, but won't confirm this to her, and acts like she didn't offer it to her husband. 

bridetobe6808

 

This issue is that she told my husband one thing and then acts oblivious to saying she would purchase a crib for us. Then she ends the conversation by saying she is going to buy a crib for her house. It just frustrates me because she doesn't need a crib...I do

weddingbells2010:

"That's very thoughtful of you MIL, but you might not get your money's worth of use out of it since we don't live down the block...we thought about registering for a pack'n'play for you to keep at your house instead."

 This is exactly what I think I am going to tell her. Thank you weddingbells

oscarkat

Look, I can't stand my MIL, and thankfully DH has been estranged from her since we were teenagers.

But...

Is there a chance that she didn't say anything to you because she thinks that you've fallen in love with this crib set and want to get it, so she doesn't want to step on your toes about it?  

mairanellis

bridetobe6808:

 

This issue is that she told my husband one thing and then acts oblivious to saying she would purchase a crib for us. Then she ends the conversation by saying she is going to buy a crib for her house. It just frustrates me because she doesn't need a crib...I do

weddingbells2010:

"That's very thoughtful of you MIL, but you might not get your money's worth of use out of it since we don't live down the block...we thought about registering for a pack'n'play for you to keep at your house instead."

 This is exactly what I think I am going to tell her. Thank you weddingbells

I would say to just get it yourself then.  If she wants to buy the baby a gift, she can buy something else where she's not wavering back and forth.

BrendaLou1969

Is there a possibility she blurted it out to your DH, then realized she just couldn't afford it after she said it.  More or less, promising something something she couldn't follow up on?   Does she do this with other things?

I suppose the why doesn't matter however...don't count on her for it.  You will most likely be alot happier without the headache.

krissy_messenger

Bla! No advise here, I'm just going to rally with you.

My MIL is always promising to do/buy things for us. I think she just really likes to offer to do things without ever following through. When we got married, I registered for a beautiful set of China and ended up getting about 5 place settings and she said she would buy the rest for me (3 more) as her wedding present to us. I gaciously accepted and thanked her but of course, nothing ever came of it. When I bought it, she offered to pay me back, great! but nothing came of it. She didn't get us a wedding present, not even a card.

Now with LO on the way, I've been let down a million times with things she promises to buy for us. It's not that I think it's her responsbility to provide for us and our child, it's just that she leaves me in the lurch when she says she will and doesn't.

littlehckyplar

I'm sorry that you are going through this. I am sure that your venting and ranting is warranted, and it may be a very difficult situation to deal with.  I would suggest as other people have said and do it on your own.  Unfortunately, there are many people in this world (MIL or others) that make empty promises.  I say go with what you like and enjoy!

 This may sound weird, but I wish I had a MIL to vent about.  My DH's mother was ill for most of his life (renal failure, transplant, etc.) and passed away.  He tells me so often how much we would have gotten along.  Somedays, I just want to cry. 

 I hope that in time your relationship with your MIL gets better.