Am I the only one who thinks this is HARD?
MKDee
member
I read all these posts about 2u2 not being that hard, and I'm convinced I'm doing something wrong. My younger DS is only a month, so I'm still new at it, but d@mn, I'm exhausted. It doesn't help that DS2 takes 40 min to an hour at a time to BF, and my 2 year old won't sit still and play for more than 10 minutes at a time. Plus, DS1 is majorly testing limits- climbing on the dining room table when I'm BFing, refusing to eat dinner at all most nights, etc. I try to keep our days as busy as possible for DS1, but it is hard to go out with both of them without help. We go for walks every day, and if it's nice, spend time in our backyard, but I'm terrified to try the park or mall with both of them by myself.
Please tell me I'm not alone in this boat! Is it the age spread? Is it just that my 2 year old is very high-energy? Any tips?
Re: Am I the only one who thinks this is HARD?
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
I love this!! I will have to keep this in mind when LO #2 comes
no. I read the comments how it is easy also and I feel like I am out of the loop on something. Mine are 18 months apart and I am exhausted! Everyday I feel as though I am in survival mode. It is getting slightly easier since DD2 is sleeping better and her colic is getting better.
I think it has to do with a few things...age separation, what kind of personality each of the kiddos has, your homelife situation, if you have family that live by you. Everything counts towards making things a bit easier.
You are not alone!! IT is hard and when people that are expecting 2 under 2 ask me...I dont sugar coat it. I am extremely blessed to have my two girls but boy somedays I am really tired
Sleep deprivation makes everything harder. It was extremely hard for me until DD started only getting up 1-2 times at night. Before that, I was struggling. Add in the fact that DD has reflux/MSPI/chronic ear infections, and DH travels a lot...um, yeah. It's very difficult at times. Hang in there. I've been praying a lot more lately, which is unusual for me, ha ha.
first off, take a deep breath and relax.... I dont' think two under two is "hard" but it's not a walk in the park either! It also takes time to adjust schedules, and get yourself used to having one more baby! I'm sure you are doing great, but sleep deprivation and being cooped up in your house tend to compound any hard tims that you might be going through.
To save your sanity, if you can, try making a baby proof area in your house that you an put DS1 in while you are bfing DS2. We have a playroom, and while the kids can make a mess of it, they are safe and I cant relax on the couch, watch them and BF the baby. Reading to DS1 while BFing DS2 worked well for me, but it depends on how long yours will sit. You can start off with one book, DS1 always liked running back to the book shelf to pick another book for me to read.... a few months in I could read to him the entire time I BF (DS2 also shortened his nursing from an hour to 45 min or less by then).
If you dare to venture out try to find a park that is gated. We have a nice park right down the street, but it doesn't have a fence to keep the kids in, and I worry too much with the road right there, so I pack them up in the car and head to a park about 5 minutes away and I can sit, relax and focus on the kids rather than who's running toward the street!
For us dinner is one meal, you eat it or don't, there is another meal in a few hours... eventually they just eat. I do believe that kids won't starve themselves, but that is a UO around the bump.
It's funny-I always read posts that people think that 2u1 is crazy and must be so hard. Although I've never experienced a 2 year old yet, I would think having a newborn and a 2 year old would be much tougher than a newborn and a 1 year old! I thought a 1 year old was easy-he was barely walking, couldnt climb things, and didnt say no.
I promise-it will get eaiser!
Soon enough, your baby will learn how to eat more efficiently so it wont be as time consuming and you'll get in a groove.
The best 2 pieces of advice I have for you is babyproof (keep your DS in an area he can't climb on the kitchen table while you're nursing) and get a good carrier and wear LO #2 in it. It will make errands and trips outdoors much easier.
It gets easier! For me, once DS was more interactive and could play on the floor happily, I felt some weight lift off my shoulders. Also, babies get more efficient with BFing as they get older. Early on, BFing sessions would be 30+ minutes. Now they are down to about 10 minutes (or less). And DD has learned that when I am feeding the baby that she needs to stay nearby and play nicely (I am super lucky that my DD has a temperment where she will actually do that, though). DD has definitely warmed up to DS lately and is much more excited and helpful.
Hang in there! Like someone said, a good day is a day when they both go to bed fed and safe.
Married 6/28/03
Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10
4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014
*~*~*~*~*
No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.
"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens
I think anyone who says 2u2 are easy is crazy! Honestly. Those first couple of months I thought I might lose my mind. Sleep deprivation is hard for me, and those pp hormones are not kind.
By the time DS2 hit 4 months things started to click and got a lot better. By 6 months when he could sit up we were well on our way (and this is also when we did sleep training and he became a great sleeper...I think that made a HUGE difference). By the time he was crawling at 9 months things seemed so much more manageable. And by the time DS2 turned 1 we were having a blast! (That is not to say that we dont still have our challenging times, because we all do, but they just seem so much more manageable now).
You are still in survival mode. Cut yourself some slack. If you need your older one to watch tv more than you wish, so be it. As someone else already said, as long as your kids are fed and alive by the end of the day then you are doing a great job!! Godo luck and you will get there!
things are easier now- but never really easy.
the first month or so was like- wtf have i gotten myself into?! but you get the hang of it & yuo start to love chaos (imo)
look at the birds | bless this food
It's definitely hard. Mine are nearly seven months and 19 months at the moment and it's not as hard as it used to be. DD2 can sit up now and that helps her entertain herself a bit (though I haven't really gotten the promised free time "once they start to play together" because DD1 is always hugging her to the point of smooshing and toppling her over and then she cries ... sigh). Anyway, it's definitely hard. I think back to the days when I had one - and she napped for two hours- and I got that time to myself - and I still complained that it was hard and I was tired.
HA!
Now a 45-minute nap overlap once a day is luxurious, both of them cry at night, and DH and I have to play man-on-man defense. It's hard.
But it's also more fun than it was in the beginning. Hang in there - you are not alone! And it will get so much better.
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Mine are 14 months and 2 months. Some days are hard, some days are good, some days are somewhere in the middle. Overall, it's getting easier as we go and I'm sure it will for you too! I would definitely try to plan an outing with both of them. Start with somewhere fairly "safe".
And who CARES what people think, if both the kids end up screaming. Try not to let that bother you.
*raises hand*
Yes, this is really really really hard, and at times really really really unpleasant. I'm sure the rewards will be tenfold down the road.
GL and hang in there!
Routine and being prepared has been my saviors. I prepare everything the night before and dish everything out like a fast food joint. I have a fenced in yard so that really helps with DS being able to go outside and play while I'm nursing. We have our naptime from 12-2:30ish and that's my saving grace to get things done and sleep myself.
DS was a really tough newborn so DD seems like a dream compared to him. Granted, she hasn't hit her two week mark. That's when the real personality starts to break out! Ask me again in two weeks. HA!
Oh sweetie, even most of us who say how it's not hard had it WAY rough in the beginning. Mine are less than a year apart, and I was a mess in the beginning. It took 4 months for things to even start to level out, and things are still challenging sometimes here. I adore my kids and wouldn't change their spacing (now) for the world, but in the beginning, it was more than I could take.
I still don't shop alone with them. I still don't hardly go out except to the park at our apartment complex by myself with both of them.
Keep your chin up. It'll get better. I promise.
agree. It gets better. I'm still nursing DS2, and it's hard at first w/DS1 running around. I never let him watch TV before I got pregnant w/DS2, but he watched a lot after DS2 was born. He's not a TV addict now. Like above says, as long as they're fed and alive at the end of the day, it's ok.