moms who had miscarriages...

eacerna

I just found out that my cousin had a miscarriage :-(. she's still very early in her pregnancy. she had her 1st u/s 3 weeks ago and then a week after had the miscarriage. she had a D&C later that week and said it was horrible :-(. as expected, she's devastated. this would have been their 1st baby. i am one of the few people who knows that she was pg and had a mc. i know we just have to give her time to grieve on her own. is there something that i can do to make her feel a tad better? i want to send flowers but then i don't want to make her feel more upset. for those who went through the same experience, what did other people do (or give) that you appreciated most?

 thanks!

kinibruin

awww e *hugz* to your cousin.

i didn't have a mc but after last year's surgery and the possibility of not having kids, it helped me a lot when you guys and my fam and friends were just there for me a let me talk to them. it helped for everyone to be reassuring to not give up hope.

 that's really sweet of you to be so thoughtful and caring--as you usually are

eacerna

kinibruin:

awww e *hugz* to your cousin.

i didn't have a mc but after last year's surgery and the possibility of not having kids, it helped me a lot when you guys and my fam and friends were just there for me a let me talk to them. it helped for everyone to be reassuring to not give up hope.

 that's really sweet of you to be so thoughtful and caring--as you usually are

thanks jenn! i miss you!! :-). been meaning to email and check on you! one of these days!!

 yeah, i guess only thing i can do is be there for her. i told her we're here if she needs us. i know it's hard enough to get over the mc and moreso that you can't grieve in public.

redshoegirl

I'm glad she has you around - it sounds like you're giving her wonderful support, which is fantastic. That's the most important thing, and she'll appreciate having someone that she can talk to about it (she may or may not actually do this, depending on how she prefers to grieve, but just knowing that she can will help).

My mother sent me flowers, which was very unexpected but also appreciated. It's just nice to know that someone acknowledges your loss as genuine and that your feelings and grief are validated (especially since a surprising number of people are prone to say things like, "Well, at least it wasn't a real baby..."). But really, even just a simple "I'm so sorry for your loss" verbally or in a card is awesome.

*John&Nohea*

I agree with the PP.  My miscarriage happened pretty early on, so no one knew except my sister.  I think just knowing that you're thinking of her would mean a lot.  Sorry for her loss. 

mrs.winter

redshoegirl:

My mother sent me flowers, which was very unexpected but also appreciated. It's just nice to know that someone acknowledges your loss as genuine and that your feelings and grief are validated (especially since a surprising number of people are prone to say things like, "Well, at least it wasn't a real baby..."). But really, even just a simple "I'm so sorry for your loss" verbally or in a card is awesome.

Ditto....just be there. It's really hard to understand the emotions until it happens to you.

MrsZiz

I really appreciated the cards that people sent in support (only a couple of friends sent them) but it showed that they felt for me and were there if I needed them. When I got pregnant with Grayson, my BF sent a card and wrote congrats on Baby #3... she knew my feelings and even though I wasn't far along, I still acknowledged it as my child and she accepted and supported that.