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Parenting
Horrible rotten day!
Argh! Just venting...
-dropped Cam at daycare and she said in this meek, timid voice (so NOT her normal voice! LOL) "Mommy, I'm going to miss you while you are at work!" I said "I'm going to miss you too!" Then she said something and I didn't hear so I asked her what she said ...."Mommy, I'm going to miss you SO MUCH while you are at work!" and the tears started! UGH!
-I have been SO looking forward to my lunch today. Fresh vine tomatoes, mozzerella sliced, light balsamic dressing on a tomato basil wrap. Um, wasn't NEARLY as good as I imagined.
-I just ate my yogurt (which was on the verge of being warm) with a fork.
-Feel disconnected from Joe. Again. For the 2nd month in a row. He thinks we are going to divorce. He doesn't feel loved and thinks I'm not happy with him anymore. He's sad. I feel bad.
-I haven't made any sales at work today and just have this feeling I won't make any today. That bums me out!
I think that's it. Feel free to join the bitter party! 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Horrible rotten day!
That's a lot of sad stuff.
(((hugs)))
Think positive girl!
Be super excited to see Cam when you get her. Be nice to Joe and make the effort and PUT OUT. You will both feel better.
Thanks for the hugs rides!
"Be nice to Joe and make the effort and PUT OUT." I know this would probably fix things, AGAIN, temporarily. But, quite frankly, I'm sick of putting out with nothing really in return. And that's pretty rotten to say/feel but it's the truth. I don't feel like he has done a single thing in a LONG time to ensure some happiness for me. I know how to make HIM happy and so while I'm not withholding sex on purpose, I also just don't feel like accomodating him when he hasn't given me a single freaking reason to. In a long time. What's worse -- I can't even tell you what I NEED/WANT in order to feel better about where we are. Him, that's easy. Sex or a blowjob. Me? I have NO idea what's missing but I can tell you, SOMETHING is.
(((Big Hugs)))
Hopefully your evening will look up. And if it doesn't, just go to bed early to get it over with.
Dit.to. Life can too easily turn into a self fulfilling prophecy. And if you set yourself up for misery (for lack of a better word), then that is what you will get.
Very well said. I think it applies to us all here too.
Ok, I know you have your issues and I agree with ghm about making yourself happy first. However, I feel an overwhelming need to point some things out here.
JOE feels unloved. JOE feels unhappy. JOE feels you are going to divorce. Why does it seem (and I only see your side of course) that everything centers around what JOE wants and needs? Maybe, and this is just a thought, agian, I don't know both sides...but maybe Joe is so freaking self centered that you are spending all of your time trying to make him feel all coddled and there is no time left to figure out what you want??
I don't know. I just don't ever see myself talking about Scott that way.
I think this ties in well with the point I was trying to make
The marriage as it is now is dysfunctional. It doesn't HAVE to be that way. I do think if you "call his bluff" for lack of better words, and choose to be happy, things have a big chance of turning around. You can't control what Joe does or how Joe feels. You can definitely control how you react. I think he has control over you right now and it seems rather manipulative. Don't let it be like that. I'm not saying that Joe's a bad guy, because I don't really think that. Lots of relationships are like this.
JOE just sent me a text saying "I feel like you don't even like me. I think we need to talk."
I shake my head. Because I don't even know WHAT to talk about. I'm all talked out. Honestly. We are the definition of insanity! LOL
It does. And it's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO far out of my comfort zone. I don't even know where to begin. I am a people please, enabler and codependent. Hi, my name is Jodi and I am the daughter of an abusive alcoholic dad and narcisstic enabler mom! I try not to blame them for anything -- as it is my CHOICE as an adult to let my childhood affect me or not affect me but hell, some of this stuff is so god damn inate that I don't even know HOW to get rid of it!
ITA with ghm. And Joe is being a big ol' baby. I swear if DH pulled that kind of crap with me I'd tell him to come back when he's done whining. I already have two kids taking up my patience quota for whining I don't need a 37 year old man acting out too. He sounds downright exhausting! I am sure DH could find things to *** at me about because Lord knows I am not perfect but luckily he is not into making me feel like crap.
Joe needs to grow up!
This FEELS mean to me! Believe me, I deal with this with my friends' relationships -- and I see how they interact within their marriage. And OMG - Joe would FLIP if I ever treated him the way other women treat their husbands. And I don't know "how" to treat him like that. It feels mean, I feel guilt-ridden and I don't know -- I do just want him to be happy. When he's happy, it makes for a happier home. But, on the flip side, I do feel like I'm always the one compromising and I do feel manipulated (at times) which makes me actually REALLY dislike him. And, selfishly, lately I have been feeling like "Who cares about MY happiness?" I'm busy making him happy and um......yea. But in his defense, I don't even know what would make me happy -- how is HE supposed to know?!
For the first time in a LONG time, I looked at him the other day and was disgusted. By him, his appearance, etc. He was trying to do the weight loss thing with me and lately, has totally gone the other way. Which makes it that much harder on me and I think I resent him a bit for that right now. *shrug*
Um, this isn't selfish!!
Nora Judith 7/2/06 Miles Chauncey 4/20/09 born with Trisomy 21 - Down syndrome
GHM is getting wise in her old age!
Read the book the 5 love languages. You say that Joe hasn't done anything in a long time. So he's not doing laundry and cooking anymore? It wasn't long ago that he was taking care of all of that for you and you were totally appreciative of it. Figure out what your love language. You know what his is. I think he might be trying, but GHM is right. If you're not happy and don't know who YOU are, how is Joe supposed to know.
Marriages are not supposed to be all happy and great all the time. This down spot will pass and you guys will get through it. Just like you always do. Stop looking at it like the end every time it happens. It's just a rough spot! You love joe and you know he adores you.
I have more to say, but I have to get dinner on the table!
I'm fine with this -- most of the time. It's when I analzye (which is often) that I'm NOT ok with it. I mean, am I "dealing" with stuff that I shouldn't be?! Do I put up with too much? Do I not ask for enough?
And yes, he does the laundry/dishes. Actually, he's great in that regard. And he cooks dinner every night too. And sometimes, I love him for all that. And other times, it makes me want to barf to even acknowledge it. I mean, I did 3 loads of laundry yesterday....nobody is praising ME for that. Nor should they. It's effing laundry -- it needs to be done. Do it and shut up. Or don't do it and I will (when *I* want to). But let's not think you are some sort of hero b/c you threw a load of laundry in the washer/dryer! LOL
Ok, see, I'm just cranky!
Oh yeah, I just love it when my husband lists out the chores he's done in a given day as though he is looking for a gold star. I mean, really? Do I announce daily that I got up with the kids, fed them breakfast, cleaned up afterwards, dressed them and drove them to school? Of course not. Do I explain how I first bought the groceries, then carried them into the house, put them away and then prepared and served a meal? Laughable, isn't it? But if I leave DH with the kids for an afternoon on the weekend, he feels the need to recite every.little.thing that he's done. And the irony is he is borderline OCD and generally likes to clean and tidy.
Sorry, off topic.
mlm - it's not that Joe doesn't show that he appreciates me, he just DOESN'T appreciate me. Period. Sad, but true. I don't do enough for him - when it comes to housework, parenting, sex, etc. Honestly, he is just like his mom in that regard. I can't tell you how many times she has said to him "And what about Jodi?!" when it comes to things like bringing the kids to karate (they have to be there at 5:30 --- I don't get home until 7)! HELLO!!!! That's not MY FAULT! But alas, I don't do enough.
It's just fuckingexhausting and I think I'm just tired. The times that I don't feel like this are getting shorter and shorter.
Yet I love my husband --- and love many things about our life together. I just really need to suck it up and stop analyzing everything!