Special Needs
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anyone with Multiples
I was wondering if anyone here has multiples (twins, etc.)?
If so, do one or both have special needs?
If only one does, how do you balance their needs?
Right now my girls are just two...and rewards and discipline...it is just tough...
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Re: anyone with Multiples
I have 2 year old twins. Grant has Mitochondrial disease, and Cade is presumed healthy. It is definitely a unique challenge, and one that is constantly evolving. When Grant is feeling well, they act like typical twin toddlers, including all of the fighting, not sharing, etc. We use the same rules for both, and the same consequences, for the most part. When Grant isn't feeling well, then we don't see the same twin dynamics. Cade will baby Grant and even call him the baby. He wants to get things for him, and is very much a mini caretaker.
The hardest part if the frequent hospitalizations. I typically stay with Grant and my husband has Cade and my 2 older kids at home. This is pure torture on everyone. I miss Cade terribly, George missed Grant, and the boys miss each other. After the hospital stay is over, all hell breaks lose between them. They are used to having total 1 on 1 time, and don't like sharing. Luckily, we have been hospital free for awhile.
I think you just have to be flexible. While we try to keep things "fair", really I accept that just isn't reality. Grant has special needs that Cade doesn't. I don't think, as Cade gets older, that he will resent that. I think he will understand. You can already see it when things aren't good with Grant. I have had to let go of the typical twin fantasies, and raise them as individuals. I don't feel like I have too much in common with other MoMs, but definitely don't feel like a singleton special needs mom.
I also have 2 year old twins and one has special needs.
We are also going down the road of mito with Ben.
It is hard and honestly we take it day by day. I use his therapy appointments for a great opportunity to have one on one with Kate.
GL let me know if you need/want to talk.
kerri.marsh@gmail.com
I have 2.5 yr old twin girls. Only one of them has a SN. It is hard and we just focus day to day really. We have a lot of one on one time with DD1 with appts etc and try to do a special day once a month with DD2. At this age it really is just lunch and zoo but she relaly enjoys it.