I don't know where to post this.
I know that this isn't ppd because I am 16 wks but I don't know where else to turn.
To give you some background. This is our first child and we planned our LO. In March my MIL passed away from cancer.
I am having a very difficult time now. I cry constantly feel alone and worthless. I worry constantly that I am going to be a horrible mother and that I am doing something to hurt my baby even though I am doing everything the Dr tells me. I am sad that we lost our happy pregnancy, I don't get to have that first special mother's day with DH because its just going to be to hard on him.
I can't talk to DH about this, I feel so guilty how dare I bring up my petty little problems to him when he is still grieving the loss of his mom. It would be really selfish of me to put more stress on him now, but I don't know what to do.
Re: I don't know where to post this.
I'm so sorry you are going through this.
Before you were pregnant, did you ever deal with bouts of anxiety or depression?
If I were in your shoes, I would do two things. First, I would open up to DH. The two issues - his loss of his mother and your feelings - may not be separate at all. We just lost my DH's sister who I barely knew, but if affected me in a big way because I was feeling the loss for DH and feeling the close effects of a family death. It's hard. And you have to reach out for his support so you can support each other.
Second, I would try to get some support from outside my marriage, too. Tell your OB, share it with your pregnant friends, etc. And one of the most important things you can do to beat pregnancy blues is exercise. Are you getting good exercise? I know that sounds lame, but it really helps. When I was early in pregnancy, I lost one of my best friends to murder. It sucked, it sucked really bad. I'd have never made it through without support from my DH and exercise.
Good luck to you!
Gabby give you the best advice, listen to her! :-)
Its perfectly ok to be feeling how you do. For me, pregnancy was a rollercoaster of emotions, happiness and sadness. Now you are adding a death in the family, and that is hard. Hang in there, this will all be ok.