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Visitation agreement - notarized?
Just curious if my X and I write our own visitation agreement and have it notarized if it will hold up in court in case when he takes DD for visitation and doesnt bring her back I can go after him to get her back?
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Re: Visitation agreement - notarized?
Short answer...no
Long answer...maybe, if you have a vistitation agreement and you notarize it and file it with the court and it works well it helps to establish the precendence that this was and a workable agreement and you both agreed by your actions of following it.
But when it comes to him just taking the child and never returning or you just up and moving in the middle of the night with no forwarding address...you both have legal custody to do so and it's not kidnapping.
Save yourself the worry and headache and go to mediation with your writeen agreement and file properly and in accorandance to your state laws.
When it comes to your child don't take short cuts...they always bite you in the end.
If you're going to go through the trouble of having a written visitation and custody agreement, you should file one with the court. This will save you a lot of headache and "legalities" in the long run.
Like Sweetie said, don't take shortcuts when it comes to your LO.
I understand, the problem I'm running in to is that this is probably only a temporary agreement.
I may allow more X more visitation in the future but not right now. It kind of sucks to do it and then 6 months or so later do it again. I want to do it right and legally so I guess I will, its just going to get expensive, but it will be worth it
Yeah, all custody is technically "temporary". It can be modified at any time as long as there is a "significant change."
As of right now, he could take your DD and not return her. Even if you have something notarized. If you have a court order and he does not return her, you can issue an amber alert instantly, etc. You have an order that the police can act on.
Not saying he'd do that, but most kidnappings are by family members and nobody ever saw it coming.
And based on your "i may allow x more visitation in the future but not right now".... i am guessing you have some qualms with her being with x?
Don't take short cuts. It's expensive, but well worth it. And in some states, you can do a custody agreement in court without a lawyer. Also, if money is tight, look into legal aid- the legal aid society has chapters in many cities.
That answers my question. I've got a call in to my lawyer, X and I will draw something up, have him look over it, and I guess then take it to court and have it made legal? I'm afraid X isnt going to go for it now though... we'll see...
Yes, I have big issues with letting him be with her. Right now our agreement is he can take her for a couple hours but he has to be "supervised" by his parents.
Yeah I would say if you think he might not agree with it, you DEF. need a lawyer to protect your best interests. Also, depending on what state this is in, there might be a legal guardian assigned to your LO.
I would also start documenting everything. You are going to need solid proof as to why he should only have supervised visits. Judges are seriously hesitant to pull custody/visits from one parent or the other unless you've got solid proof that they are putting them in danger.
What worries you about him if you dont mind me asking?
A guardian ad litem =/= legal gaurdian
A garidian as litem is a court appointed attorney who protects the rights of the child and argues on behalf of the child not either parent.
A legal gaurdian is the person who has the legal right to care for the personal and property of another person, ie the parents.
He has been an "absent father" since she was born. He spends all of his free time with his friends getting high and drinking. He never took part in her daily care (changing diapers, bathing, feeding). I document everything, and know that he has never done anything that would warrant court ordered supervised visits but he's letting me get my way in this area (because he's trying to be nice).
I think if I pull the lawyer card he will go after me for unsupervised visits and possibly even joint custody just to be an ***. That's why I've tried to do things without getting a lawyer involved. Currently I've been doing the "Supervised" visitations with him but he just harrasses me the entire time and I'm at my wits end. Thats why I've agreed to have his parents do the supervising. I just worry he will take her and then not bring her back.... I guess I'm kind of between a rock and a hard place... Keep meeting him and dealing with his harassment or get the lawyer involved and see if he's serious about coming after me for more visits or joint custody.
Sorry sorry I meant "law guardian" or "attorney for the child" - they're called both here in NY.
Yeah I can def. see where "legal guardian" would be confusing because it doesn't even mean close to the same thing. Heh. oops.
I did think that, but then thought no way would that happen??!
I know I just realized how badly that could sound- how freaking scary!
Beach bum- sorry for freaking you out! eeek. holy crap, I hope I didn't give you a heart attack!