When will you start to use time outs?

Kahf15

A friend of mine started using time outs right at one year.  He is put in the corner a couple of times a day for misc things... standing on the couch after being told not to, throwing things, etc.  My LO will be 11 months on Wednesday and I just cannot picture him understanding time out at ALL in one month.  

What do you plan to do?

MNgirl326

Not until they can understand why they are in a time out in the first place.  so probably around 2ish.

nopegoat

Right at 1yr old does seem a little early... 1.5 closer 2 sounds a little bit more realistic. 

 

MJ5678

I think 1 is too little for timeouts.  They don't really understand it yet.  Maybe when she is 2 and can grasp the concept.

ougrad1

Emerson didn't get understand time out until she was two.  Unfortunately, you have to rely on a lot of redirection until then.  

Court0026

2ish seems more realistic.  DS was doing well with them, but now he likes to give himself time outs and it is a whole big mess.  Like he will hit his sister so he can go to time out.  2 is a tricky age...

Dreamsicle23

Probably never.  I'm not a fan of the concept.  I like the "natural consequences" approach a lot better (like if you throw a toy, the toy gets taken away for the rest of the day), and I'm not afraid of spanking for really big no-nos like running in the street or something.

yankeebaby2

We went with positive discipline with our other two children and I'll probably use it with Matthew too.  Time outs really agitated my son when he just wanted to be close to me and we only used it a handful of times before we switched methods

superned

Never.  We will use natural and logical consequences, but never a specific thing called "time out."  I think there are better ways to guide behavior than putting LO in a solitary place to deal with her feelings on her own.

doremi29

We probably won't use timeouts, but I can tell you that my nephew is 17 months old and would totally not understand why he was in timeout.  My neice was more like 2 when she started to understand and only now at 3 does it seem to really make a difference to her.

Angela814

I started around 2 years for DD1, but only for a few things like hitting. Redirection still works better at that age IMO.

NicoleR524

as an early childhood educator, I can say that the pp's reasonings for NOT doing timeouts are 100% accurate.  They do not teach the child anything.  Talking to them about problems, conflicts, etc... has is way more effective at getting the child to stop doing an undesired behavior. 

Maybe in some situations they will need to calm their body down, if over tired, overwhelmed, engaged in a physcial disagreement with a peer, etc...but they should never be sent to a corner, chair, step without a discussion. 

What we do in our school revolves entirely around discussion and problem solving whether it be something they need to work on with themselves or with a peer.  Like I said, at times they may need to step out from an activity or something and calm their body, clear their head, etc...But they are NEVER left alone to do so.  First, a teacher will discuss with them what happened, why it happened and what can be done differently the next time a similar situation arises.  If they teacher feels the child needs to realx/sit out, they will sit with the child on their lap and either have a light hearted discussion or just sit with books or a cup of water. 

And OMG, never at one year old would this happen.  They have NO concept of time outs or even the ability to control their impulses with things such as climbing on couches or anything that is exciting or interesting to them.  Redirection and distraction is what you need to do with 1 year olds and even some 18 mo and two year olds.  If climbing on the ocuch is something you don't want your LO to do, then don't give them the opportunity to do so.  Keep them in another room, gate off the living room, put chairs in front of the couch.  I feel so sad for that poor baby. 

margotmacomber

Positive reinforcement, yo.

Jessys_Girl

I agree that 1 year old seems early for me, but I have started the teaching process.

Basically, when DD does something she's not supposed to, like if she pinches, hits or bites me or DH, we don't do a formal "time out" but we say to her "No, pinching isn't nice.  It hurts" and we put her down and stop playing with her for a minute or so.  that way, when we DO start doing time outs, she'll understand that the fun STOPS during a time out.

Kahf15

Thank you for all of the responses!  I am glad I am not the only one that thinks 1 year olds are waaayyy to young for time outs.  I have not made up my mind if we will ever use them with DS, but at least I know I have a while to make up my mind.

 

Thanks again ladies!