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Pregnant after a Loss
butterflynola
member
To quit my job or not to quit? Opinions please :)
butterflynola
member
Hi Ladies
So I'm debating about when to quit, now or in another month or 2. I work for a newspaper and do a combination of sitting and running back and forth upstairs to the art department. It's a moderately stressful job mainly because I have an old crabby boss. I also have been a hair stylist for the past 7 years and do that on the side and will continue to do that regardless, it's usually just once a week. I'm worried because I lost our daughter at 22 weeks due to IC and preterm labor and I wasn't even working at the time didn't do too much at all but still just randomly went into labor one day. Now I'm worried to overdue it and/or risk anything it makes me super paranoid. I just got a cerclage in, but I know that it doesn't mean that I'm in the clear. DH is an attorney and the bread winner so my income doesn't make much difference, but if I quit I will be sooo bored, but if I don't quit I will be sooo worried all the time. I asked my doctor what he thinks and he said it's up to me he said it's about 50/50 that go back to work after a cerclage.
What would you ladies do? Thanks in advance, sorry so long 
?DD 9/17/10 22wks I carry you in my heart.?
bfp#2 2/14/11? cerclage placed at 13 weeks
?DS 9/29/11 36 wks 3 days 8lb 20 1/4" ?
bfp#3 12/15/12 CP 12/27/12
bfp#4 2/25/13
beta#1 51 beta#2 163 beta#3 1,370
bfp#2 2/14/11? cerclage placed at 13 weeks
?DS 9/29/11 36 wks 3 days 8lb 20 1/4" ?
bfp#3 12/15/12 CP 12/27/12
bfp#4 2/25/13
beta#1 51 beta#2 163 beta#3 1,370
This discussion has been closed.
Re: To quit my job or not to quit? Opinions please :)
Honestly, if I were you and my income didn't make much of a difference, I would quit as soon as possible. It would definitely be different if my family depended on my income (as mine do), in which case I would have to weigh the benefits/negatives, but since you don't seem to absolutely love your job and you are already really stressed (understandably) why keep working?
If I had the choice to stay home now I absolutely would. High risk or not. But most of us don't get the choice, so if you do take advantage!
The less stress the better, and if you are worried about being bored, maybe you could look into volunteering somewhere part-time? Maybe at a Children's Hospital, vet's clinic, or crisis nursery (depending on your interests). You could also take up a hobby like scrapbooking or photography or painting. You could take a class at a community college that interests you! Oh the possibilities!!!
That is my opinion, hope it helps!
How often are your cervix checks?
If it were me, I'd probably quit around 17w if I didn't need the money.
BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
I'd quit now. You can always tell yourself you'll be careful at work, but when things come up and there are deadlines and important events you can never just sit back and take it easy. If you know you're going to leave, I think that earlier is better to let your employers know so they can prepare to find and train your replacement.
As far as the boredom, you can take on more hair clients, get ready for the baby, start a scrapbook, journal or blog for the baby, start a new hobby like knitting, crocheting, photography, etc. If you're really bored, volunteering is a great way to spend your time, and you can choose something that keeps you off your feet, and stop when you need to.
That's really tough. Do you plan to go back to this job after you have the baby or a similar type job where you need to have the experience on your resume? Is there any way to take it down to part time if you wanted to continue there? If you could care less about the job and don't need the money, then I would think the added stress you are putting on yourself by worrying about staying there isn't worth it and I'd go ahead and quit. Maybe you could find an on-line part-time job that could keep you busy or more hair appts.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
July 2007 m/c 6 weeks
November 2010 m/c 7 weeks 1 day
MTHFR (Compound hetero with copies of A & C)
What do you do at the newspaper? Is it something that you could do from home or work as a consultant, on an as needed basis? I think keeping the hair stylist thing is a great idea since you probably make your own schedule and have that flexibility...is there a way you could expand that to be a little more than once a week, but not a full-time gig?
Living on one income isn't a reality for my husband and I...but if it were, I think I would have the same problem as you being with being bored.
I have a friend, recently became SAHM and she designs and sells her own jewelry on the side. She seems content and happy.
As far as overdoing it...I'm afraid I don't have much advice other than your body will let you know when to stop. As you said in your post, your loss came when you weren't working...However, if your gut tells you that you should take it easy and quit the newspaper, I would go with that and deal with how to manage the boredom once you have your LO in your arms.
They'll be doing cervical u/s checks every 2 weeks and possibly p17 shots but I guess it just makes me more worried because I had 'just' had an u/s 3 days prior to going into labor last time which tells me it either happened really fast or the u/s didn't check my cervix.
Just a fyi my work knows that the most I will last is another 2 months so they have already been shopping around so I'm not blind siding them by any means I'm just debating how much longer...I go to my dr on thursday so hopefully I'll be more certain of a decision then.
I wish I could work from home!
bfp#2 2/14/11? cerclage placed at 13 weeks
?DS 9/29/11 36 wks 3 days 8lb 20 1/4" ?
bfp#3 12/15/12 CP 12/27/12
bfp#4 2/25/13
beta#1 51 beta#2 163 beta#3 1,370
Wow, that's a tough one...
I don't think I'd quit the newspaper in order to take on more stylist clients, because I would think you'd be on your feet more doing that kind of work.
If there were a way of your newspaper job reconfiguring your work a little to eliminate the running around and keep you at the desk more, that would probably be my personal choice. It's not about the money, it's about keeping yourself occupied. 26 weeks is a long time to be home waiting for baby...
Good luck!
Yes I plan to stay at home when LO arrives and maybe go back to work when we are done having kids and they're in school? I've been on bedrest this week so it has me playing with the idea more but I have to admit I have been pretty bored but also because I'm laying around not able to do anything which can get boring reallly fast lol.
bfp#2 2/14/11? cerclage placed at 13 weeks
?DS 9/29/11 36 wks 3 days 8lb 20 1/4" ?
bfp#3 12/15/12 CP 12/27/12
bfp#4 2/25/13
beta#1 51 beta#2 163 beta#3 1,370
Was it a transvaginal ultrasound? That's the only way to really check the cervix.
BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
This is what I was thinking, plus as you said before you were not working. I think I would become to paranoid with all that extra time to listen to my body!
Baby Boy loved for 15 weeks, 5/31/11
Baby Girl loved for 16.5 weeks. 3/1/12
No it was abdominal. I know they'll being doing the transvag u/s now but I figured that they could've seen something then? maybe not.
bfp#2 2/14/11? cerclage placed at 13 weeks
?DS 9/29/11 36 wks 3 days 8lb 20 1/4" ?
bfp#3 12/15/12 CP 12/27/12
bfp#4 2/25/13
beta#1 51 beta#2 163 beta#3 1,370
I know that's the flipside that would be a long time of waiting. I will say I wasn't working but one thing that I look back on and think may have contributed, I used to go for a 3-4 mile walk at least 3 times a week then and did that day as well.
I have to say though everyone always says to listen to your body, I was never in any pain at all it just happened which I'm sure happened over the course of a few days but nothing felt any different at all so I will be paranoid there or here I guess lol. Of course I am not going on those long walks anymore.
bfp#2 2/14/11? cerclage placed at 13 weeks
?DS 9/29/11 36 wks 3 days 8lb 20 1/4" ?
bfp#3 12/15/12 CP 12/27/12
bfp#4 2/25/13
beta#1 51 beta#2 163 beta#3 1,370
Dx: MFI- 3% morph
IUIs: Gonal-F + Ovidrel + b2b IUI= BFNs
IVF with ICSI= BFP! EDD 11/25/11
3/18- Beta #1 452! 3/20- Beta #2 1,026!! 3/27- First u/s- TWINS!
Our twin boys arrived at 36w5d due to IUGR and a growth discordance
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
If i were you, and in your situation, i would quit sooner than later. It will give you peace of mind if nothing else.
Besides you will want to stay home with that beautiful baby once its born.
DC#2 born silent at 22 weeks 1.11.11
Dc#3 born vbac 1/2012 <bra DC#4 born VBAC 3/2014
Is it possible to pick up more hours doing hair styling? It seems like you enjoy that and it would keep you from growing too bored. If it were me and the income didn't matter, I would quit the newspaper job. I am like you though, I get stir crazy if I'm not kept busy, so I'd try to pick up something that I enjoy on the side... whether it's hair styling or a hobby of some sort.
GL!