Introduction and need some advice
Hi ladies - I'm a regular on the NC board, but wanted to pop over here to say hello and ask a few questions. A little about me - I've been married to DH for 4 years, have 2 sons (one who is my SS) and a little girl.
So here's a little backstory - DH and Ex split up 6 years ago and they never went through the courts - everything was somewhat amicable and they just drew up an agreement of child support, visitation, etc. We've never had an issue with visitation - in fact we see he more than the order stipulates. So we found out on Saturday that ex got a job in Key West, FL. She went down there to visit a friend, but decided while she was down there to interview for a few jobs and well - curses she got one. She's been out of work up here for a little bit (she was fired from her teaching job), but never in a million years did we think she'd get a job out of state. So she would move there in May (we would keep him until school is out) and then she wants us to send him down there to live with her in the 1 bd efficiency she's renting. Here's my issue (i'll try to keep it short 
She told SS before she told DH and she said that SS wants to move with her to FL even though she knows it's going to be a struggle. We asked what happens if it doesn't work out there - she replied - we'll just move back home.
She has NO support system down there - her whole family is up here and she'll be taking SS away from his brother / sister / dad / me. She indicated that her dad's 3rd wife will move down there in August to help out (but no one has met her - including SS, Ex, or us) so seems a little weird.
She hasn't even tried to find a job up here, but claims she can't find one b/c she's been blacklisted in the teaching community (not sure what happened with her last job)
She's had issues in the past with money management and was recently evicted from her apt for not paying rent and I fear that she'll be struggling to make ends meet down there (she'll be making less than she did up her).
I really feel so sad for my SS - my heart is breaking for him - trying to please both parents. I know Key West sounds like fun, but visiting some place and living there are 2 different things! We talked to his mom about giving it a year - we keep him for 5th grade and if she's still empoyed in a year then we'd work out something. Her reply - I'm not going anywhere without him. Needless to say - she's not willing to negotiate with us. I really do feel that it is in his best interest to have some stability in his life. He has his family, friends, school here and know that with her history of jobs / housing that this might be a little too much for SS.
What rights do we have - can we stop her from moving? DH is consulting a lawyer, but of course he's OOO until tomorrow so we're filled with anxiety of what our options are....
Thanks for reading this long post - any words of wisdom, advice would be appreciated.
Re: Introduction and need some advice
I had that experience on the Mom's side. Shortly after my divorce I moved in with my mother temp for financial reasons. Whithin that time she got a job offer in Kansas City (not at all close!) I told my ex if she gets the job I'd be moving with her. At the time our boys were in preschool, so it wouldn't have been a big deal as far as friends were concerned. Unfortunately he couldn't do anything to stop me...she ended up not getting the job so we stayed, but it was a battle b/n my ex and I so I know what you're feeling. I'm not sure that the laws are different in your state, but unless there was a stipulation in the divorce papers, whomever has primary physical custody has the last say....legal custody doesn't really matter when talking about moving (that's more about visitation rights)
I know it sounds exciting for SS to be in FL and so close to the beach. All he's thinking about is vacation! It will be too hard get him to understand the "adult" side of the matter. You'll have to look at what's best for HIM! It may or may not be what you want and that's the tough part. I can honestly say that if I had moved it would have been a huge mistake but I couldn't see that at the time....maybe the mom is in that place too. She may think this is a good move but may find out later that it was a mistake and it's your job to make her see that before she leaves.
My advise for now is just to relax as much as possible and take every moment of the time you have with him until you get a definite answer from the Lawyer. Tell him your concerns and your wants for SS and don't be afraid to put the boxing gloves on if needed! Good luck and keep us posted!
Sounds like you may need a temporary CO to stop her from going, or at least to stop her from taking SS, and then you'll have to hash things out in court.
That's a really tough situation. I hope your lawyer has good advice for you. GL.
You and/or your H need to get on the phone with a lawyer right now. You said that there's no CO. Is your H on the the birth certificate?
You can look things up specifically for your state, but usually one parent cannot just decide to move out of state and take the child without the consent of the other parent.
An attorney should be able to advise you in terms of exactly what steps to take.
My divorce was handled in Florida, and my attorney helped me get permission to move out of state. She also told me that parents who do move out of state without permission are regularly forced to return to their home state with the child.
Until you can get things moving with an attorney, your H should tell her that he has no intention of letting her leave with your SS and that she'll hear from his attorney.
I have a lot of sympathy for people who share custody and want to move for legitimate reasons. But this sounds like a ridiculous whim.