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Single Parents
How the heck..? (vent)
Did I ever think that someone as inconsiderate and selfish as my ex was worth my time? Honestly, I must have been on some kind of hallucinogen. Of course he wasn't always that way, they never are right? But wow...
We've had pretty decent communication recently, and have even had somewhat of a friendship building again, which we both think is beneficial considering we have a child to raise together. But yesterday, we were having a very very rough day, DS and I (teething, 'nuff said), and I was about at my wits end with that and all the other things I needed to get done. He calls daily to check in and see how our day went, etc.. Yesterday he decided to tell me all about how he blew off work to go out of town for the day with the new girlfriend for her birthday, and when I was just blowing off steam about how awful my day was asked me "Can't you just suck it up for one day? I'm coming to hang out with him tomorrow.."
Um, EXCUSE ME??!! How dare you tell me that, when you basically disappeared for months after you left us, without so much as a text message to see how your own child was doing?? How dare you, when I have shouldered the full responsibility of raising our child so that you can have your "freedom" or whatever it is that you were lacking in our relationship? At this point, I don't give a flying whatever that he has been making progress, and has taken on more responsibility. That statement just made me want to explode his whole head. And I DON'T mean the one on his shoulders.
We are currently going to counseling to try and better this f-ed up situation. Our next sesh is on Monday.. Should make an interesting one. Heh. /vent
Breastfeeding, Co-Sleeping, Babywearing, Animal Loving Family!
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Re: How the heck..? (vent)
are you guys divorced or trial separation?
and do you have a custody agreement?
are you thinking of taking him back?
heh sorry for the direct line of questioning, just some things i thought of.
i dont know i could ever take back someone that left and ditched the LO for so long. but thats just me. kudos on going to counseling though. its good you guys are trying to co parent amicably.
We never married. Just a long term relationship that had an "oopsy" moment. One which I am very thankful for because I love my DS more than life itself.
Custody agreement is in the works. I'm pushing to work things out amicably and not have to go through a lengthy court process to fight about everything.
As for taking him back... Eh... Some days I feel like I wouldn't mind if it happened, but most days I am just sick of his bs. That's kind of one reason why we're in counseling. To get to the bottom of what our relationship issues, see if they're something we could get past, and assess whether both of us are willing to get past them. While we agree that it would be best case scenario to end up happy together and not have to split up our family for DS's sake, things like the above really don't fly with me. If we ever get to that point, I'm going to definitely set a "trial period" or something where he has to walk the walk and talk the talk for a certain period of time before I'll want to revisit the relationship. If that makes sense. I'm keeping my guard up and not giving an inch until I'm 150% sure he deserves it.
That's only one reason we're currently going, and not the reason we originally started going. The reconsidering our relationship part was actually at the suggestion of our counselor after having individual sessions with each of us. NOT something I just came up with on my own, nor was it X's suggestion either. We are trying to keep an open mind about it, because if nothing else, we both feel that we do need to be in a better place so that our son doesn't have to watch us hate each other for his entire life.