Should I?

Kit1993

Should I share our little girl's name with our family and friends? They have been asking us for a while now. I'm very sensitive. I dislike rude comments so I don't want to share our daughter's name and then get negative feedback. Would you share your child's name with family and friends even if you got negative feedback?

Kit1993

Yep, I can't deal with negative feedback. We'll just keep the name a secret until birth.

mama31

Its a personal choice.  We are not sharing. I want it to be a surprise.

prism207

It never occurred to me not to share.  I never expected any negative comments, but then again our names were very classic, traditional ones.  We did not hear anything negative.

It blows my mind actually that people are rude enough-family members or otherwise-to think they have a say in what someone else names their kid.  I hated the name my brother chose for his daughter and she's nearly three and I've never said anything to him about it. 

rubyjem00

I agree with the others - it's definitely a personal choice. We aren't sharing because I don't want to listen to the negative feedback.

AwBeth

We do not share baby names for several reasons.  First, we are team green and we like to use family names.  So we feel like it's weird to say, "We're naming our baby after you...but only if it's a girl/boy...so don't get too excited."  And then if we change our mind about a name, we aren't held to it.  (Which I never thought we would, but we changed our boy name from our first pregnancy to this one).

Also, I just don't want people's input.  Even if they mean well.  I've seen too many people say something like: "I was going to name my son ______, but then I found out that was my aunt's ex-boyfriend's name."  Or my mom decided not use use the name she had originally chosen for me because my grandpa said he had a shady business deal with someone of a similar name.  Once they see your sweet baby girl, they won't remember whatever negative connotation they had with the name. 

And one more thought - I just like the element of surprise.  It's fun to have something to announce at the birth besides the birth and weight. (not that the birth isn't crazy exciting by itself)

g00dg0llymsm0lly

My feeling is, if it's a good name, you shouldn't have to worry about negative feedback. If you're "very sensitive," just don't pick an awful/misspelled/ridiculous name, and you should be fine. I can't imagine keeping our baby's name a secret, that's been everyone's first question!

zaramarie81

I wouldn't share. I am sensitive to relatives' opinions, and it sounds like you are too. Also if they are pushing to know the name... that's a sign they are going to have opinions. I don't like feeling pressured into stuff like that, lol.

And, even if you are not Team Green... who knows, you may hold your baby and think, "Wow, I actually want to go with another name... " Ya just never know! That's what happened when my parents named me.

Blessed06

I would keep it to myself.  My MIL has way too many negative opinions!

plunderb

If you're at all sensitive, don't share with family and friends. If they love it, they'll love it four months from now. If they hate it, they (probably) won't say so, and if they do, it is super rude.

You could share with us, though, if you're looking for some feedback. We promise not to tell. And we're just internet strangers, so no hard feelings.

danlexi04

g00dg0llymsm0lly:

My feeling is, if it's a good name, you shouldn't have to worry about negative feedback. If you're "very sensitive," just don't pick an awful/misspelled/ridiculous name, and you should be fine. I can't imagine keeping our baby's name a secret, that's been everyone's first question!

I totally disagree with this. Everybody has a difference of opinion on what a ridiculous/awful name is and people love to voice their opinions whether or not you ask for it.

melissa721

I think it depends on the kind of family you have. I have the type of family who will flat out say EWWWWW to a name they didn't like. I don't think I will be sharing the name until phantom LO is born. It's hard to say EWWWW when you're holding a newborn.

lelekay

We didn't share.  Honestly, I didn't want ANY feedback.....positive or negative.  Plus, it's nice to have something be a surprise!

Allie30

DO NOT SHARE.

Here is why:

When people ask you what you are thinking of naming your fetus, they make RIDICULOUS judgments based on what they would name THEIR hypothetical babies. That's when you hear crap like "Oh, John is a horrible name. My sister's ex boyfriend's father was named John and he was a jerk." They don't think of the hundreds of Johns they've met in their lives. All they think about is the one John they don't like, the one John that is keeping them from naming their child John, and they judge your hypothetical John based on that. 

This happens even if it's the most common and innocuous name in the world.

Whereas, if you wait, you introduce them not to a hypothetical fetus, but instead to a John, just like hundreds of other Johns they know. They do not look at an actual baby named an actual name and go "Oh, John. That sucks." THey will not look at a coworker named John and go "Oh that sucks" either.

 And what if you change your mind when you meet your baby? You might.

Do not share. It's such a headache. Hang out on this board for a week and you'll see that a large percentage of the posts are about parents who shared and hated what their in-law's roommate's sister's boyfriend said about the name. 

welcometowonderland

I agree with Allie30. Everyone's opinions are going to differ and your perfect name can be a completely normal and acceptable name and someone will have something negative to say. I refuse to tell anyone and simply say we're still thinking about names or we're waiting to see the baby before we make our decision. I made the mistake of telling my names with my other children and in my case, it was my mother who was the problem. Still is. My facebook wall is loaded with name suggestions and I once shared a name with her and got the response " if that's the name you decide on, I will call him _______ instead" WTF!?! I figure if the secret is kept, once the baby is born, no one will be able to see the baby as anything other than what we decide on.

juniper19

If you don't want to hear negative opinions, then don't tell.  Even if people don't mean to be rude, most are unable to hide their real feelings well and it is lousy to hear that kind of awkward "Oh, that's nice" from someone struggling not to sound put off.  Once the baby is born they are so sincerely excited that there is a new baby that the excitement helps them get over any disappointment or negative feelings they may have toward the name and they will gush over anything.